I am standing at the cash machine outside Superquinn on the Sundrive Road. I am taking cash out of the machine for to buy delicious Superquinn jam doughnuts which are totally awesome.
The car parking space in front of me is designated for ‘expectant mothers’ or ‘mothers with kids’. A white Mercedes pulls in. An eldery lady stumbles out and her packet of Dunhill cigarettes falls on the ground. She does not notice.
“Excuse me”, I say, pointing at her fags. “Your cigarettes”.
“Oh don’t worry”, she says, unsteady on her feet, “I’ve got children inside!”
“No”, I say, “you dropped your cigarettes”.
She thinks I’m pointing at the parking space sign which says the space is for mothers with kids.
“No no!”, she says again, “my childgrandren are inside!”
“What?”
“I mean my grandchildren are inside! I must collect them at once”, an excuse no doubt perfected over a couple of afternoon Pimms and a Xanex or two.
“No. YOU HAVE DROPPED YOUR CIGARETTES”, I bellow. She looks at the ground, sees her smokes, picks them up, refuses point blank to look at me and totters off into the shop without another word.
She is clearly out of her gourd, driving around in the middle of the afternoon without a care in the world. Moments later a pregnant women in a car with her two children is forced to park around the corner, meaning a 20-30 stroll to get into the shop.
This is a cruel world and no mistake.
I had a friend over recently. There is a supervalu right beside my place. I jammed my car in the “reserved for mothers with children”. I was approached by a woman who started going fucking mental with me. “You have no children with you” It was at that moment I thanked my lucky stars that I was a Billie Barry Kid. I started screaming – “OH MY GOD, MY CHILDREN! WHERE ARE MY CHILDREN!”
She didn’t believe me and said – “huh, think you’re funny?” My friend gave it away, the fucking eejit.
I hate to say it, but someone else will so I meay as well. Old people can be cunts.
Feckin’ typos.
And to childless people who park in parents’ spaces, I wish upon you two children a sulky teen and a baby, and a trolley full of shopping, in a three door car, in the rain, endlessly.
Sounds like the voice of bitter experience, Jo.
Jo Says:
October 23rd, 2009 at 10:31 am
Feckin’ typos.
And to childless people who park in parents’ spaces, I wish upon you two children a sulky teen and a baby, and a trolley full of shopping, in a three door car, in the rain, endlessly.
OK. I can live with that…,means I’ll get laid! *scratch
*singin’ in the rain, I’m singin’ in the rain, what a wonderful …ah…ye get the gist.
There’s a middle-aged gentleman in my local gym that does something similar but on a regular basis, i.e. every time that I’m there, I’m sure this is to annoy me.
He pulls up in his SUV, and without fail the Cunt parks in a disabled space, despite their being ample parking (there’s no sticker in his car, no kids and he’s able bodied to control an SUV, so I’m assuming he’s not disabled).
For someone who’s going to the gym to exercise, you’d think the Cunt wouldn’t mind doing an extra few yards to allow someone less mobile the chance to park there.
I dislike selfish lazy Cunts!
Although people who park in; children and mothers, disabled and drop off spaces outside supermarkets when they do not qualify in anyway should be culled, instantly and without mercy. It’s your subtle Superquinn stealth brand & product placement that concerns me Twenty.
Try Googling “superquinn jam doughnuts”.
@ itchybollix : heh, marvellous
Twenty, how elderly is elderly? around 70?
60 is old, 70+ is elderly. (90+ is wizened)
20-30 stroll? seconds?
Time to relive an old old joke,
women are like parking spaces, all the good ones are taken and all the rest are handicapped.
Try Googling “superquinn jam doughnuts”.
haha, I should be on a retainer.
70+, Morgor. And off her face.
I’d say if the cops stopped her they wouldnt do anything so.
“aw, but she’s old”
Old people are cunts.
PUNISH THEM.
These people in question should have their SuperClub points withdrawn.
That’d fuckin teach ‘em.
I was about to pull away from a parking spot in Blackrock shopping centre when a big SUV pulled into TWO spots beside me. A sunglasses on the head mother with her cloned daughter sloped out in their juicy tracksuits and totally ignored their ignorant parking.
So I left a note saying “it’s because you’re selfish” on the windscreen. I then proceeded to let the air out of their back tyres.
It felt good.
I fuckin’ hate people like that who are so damn slow on the uptake ……………………………………………..PIGEON PUTT! HAHAHA!
old person experience as told by mate:
A woman who works with me found her car with the whole back-end smashed in, in the car park on Wednesday.
There was a note under the wiper….”sorry about the bump”. No contact details.
The next day another women in the hospital said she witnessed a car getting hit in the day surgery car park, the 70 year old biddy who was driving then drove her car to a different car par and walked back to day surgery. The witness spotted her and challenged her about it. the old biddy said she was away to get a pen, then wrote the note and went into the hospital. The witness then went over a read the note… “sorry about the bump”. So she left another note with her contact details and the registration of the old biddys car and an offer to be a witness (it must have happed to her before). Later that day, when her appointment was finished, the deceitful Auld C”nt, seen the second note on the car that she had hit and removed it, then drove home.
The women whos car was hit and the witness got in contact with the Fuzz. They a calling out to see old granny piss-stain at 16:00 today. I wish I was there to see the stupid look on her old busted face.
No doubt in a couple of years every one at her funeral will say what a decent old dear she was and how she never did a bad turn in her life…….. its removing the second note that gets me…. There is a special layer of hell reserved for auld whores like that, them , traitors and child killers.
HM – top work.
Lung – heh
Do update on that story, Ape
True, commendable work Holemaster.
It’s funny how old people do things so slowly. Don’t they realise they have less time than everyone else?
Unrelated: I pulled a Costanza today. Did I;
a) Tell a comically transparent lie to cover the fact that I ate the last three Lindor chocolates from the communal table at work?
b) Bring an un-purchased book into the toilet with me? or;
c) Stop dating a girl because she kept sitting on my right, and I need to approach from the right, because all my magic is in my right hand. (Otherwise I look like I’m trying to escape from handcuffs instead of feeding the pony)
I blame the mathematician Nash, from the film A beautiful Mind.
“Parent and child” parking is just a way to provide wider parking spaces for women without “offending” them. Supermarket bosses were forced into action after constant complaints from men with scratched paintwork. They overdid the liberalism though and now us daddys can use them too!
Had a situation in a very busy car park, when I was just pulled into the last parent and child spot. I looked around to see a very irate looking mammy who was ‘spotless’. She was waiting for me to get out of the car so she could roll down and let me have it. She was ready to let fucking fly I’d say, when dutifully and with amazing timing my up-until-now sleeping son popped his head up in the back seat.
oooppps! Sorry Mammy, daddy coming through!
heh, sAm.
MMN – gotta be A
Old people on footpaths walking really slowly.
I like Kids. Just couldn’t eat a whole one.
You should have let the air out of one of her tyres and sat back and watched her try and change it…
Old Irish ladies are sour bitches…
She was a member of both AAs.
Actually it was B.
Which bookshop?
The disabled don’t have a choice. I’ll give them an exception – but this “wimmin and kids” ? Bollix to that.
If you keep eating McDonalds, eventually you’ll be so obese that you’ll qualify for a disabled permit and be allowed to park right at the door. Perfect.
You should have said nothing about the smokes and when the old cunt was gone you should have squashed them and put them under one of her wipers, just to piss her off.
Ageist bastards. I think there should be designated parking for them. http://i955.photobucket.com/albums/ae38/Mosheeen/reserved.jpg
I have a friend who parks in parent and child spaces all the time. On one occasion she was challenged and so pointed to her child, who happens to be 20.
It’s stupid, since when did popping out sprogs = better parking places anyway?
People covering two spots when parking sends me a bit crazy. I’m getting a roll of stickers made, for the front window….’nice parking cunt’
I’ll go halves
How about ‘Man and blow up girlfriend’ parking?
After two attempts I would have let her go picked up the dunhills and smoked them later, not a bad smoke. That would teach her…
With the world facing an overpopulation crisis it is the unselfish who haven’t had children that should be encouraged and rewarded. Besides, the exercise will help them get rid of the weight they gained in pregnancy – which will strengthen their marriages.
last year I was popping a “nice parking cunt” under a rangerover’s windscreen wipers when there was a cough behind me – when I turned round there was an angry and really huge – think Giant Haystacks – woman. I legged it.
You could have just scribbled out ‘parking’.
We have one of those things where a guy brings in a bunch of books and toys and you sign your name if you want to buy one of the items and so on. All the gear just sits there in our kitchen, but this was a line to cross in fairness. I had to sneak back from the jacks in super-stealth mode (read: could not possibly look more suspicious) to replace the book in case anyone saw me.
I fucking know the girls HATE the way I bring the tabloids to the jacks.
*last year I was popping a “nice parking cunt” under a rangerover’s windscreen wipers*
Applaudes!
I fucking know the girls HATE the way I bring the tabloids to the jacks.
Probably the brown fingerprints put them off.
What a pack of fussy bitches.
Some people can be very hit and miss when parking, can’t they Major?
I have certainly experienced other people’s poor parking, yes.
Indeed, I never doubted it.
Get panniers for the Honda 50 and leave the car at home Twenty. And at least the new neighbours won’t have stolen your space when you get home.
Panniers and a double sidecar? I’d look silly.
Send Dave in that case.
There is nothing good about cars anymore. Roads/ Parking / Lunatics – How you say.. bunchacunts.
The greens have a point with the bikes you know.
*Runs away quickly*
Driving in cities is a pain in the hole. So is waiting 40 minutes for a bus in sideways rain.
Are you serious ? You have parking spaces for women with kids in Ireland. Talk about the nanny state. For fucks sake. Like walking a few yards will harm the little cunts. As for parking spaces for preggers. We have them over here also. Fuckin’ stupid. Exercise is as good for them as it is for anyone.
Well said 10.
And so sexist – what about Men taking kids out shopping ?
Exactly. I make a point of parking in the preggers space just to be fair.
Dear god.
Taking babies out of car seats. Manoevering them in and out of trollies while making sure their siblings aren’t wandering in front of cars. Trying to fit the trolley somewhere while you install and buckle them all in. Making quick exits while they’re having screaming meltdowns. Being near the trolley parks so you don’t have to leave them in the car too long.
It’s mostly about space to just get them in and out of the car though, the parent spaces are bigger.
It’s not about walking distances.
Ugh.
So how come it is only women who have these problems when they are out shopping with the children Jo ?
You don’t know your luck, Jo! Try hauling a toddler and a baby onto a bus while you juggle to collapse a buggy, keep the bag on your shoulder, all the while with one foot on the first step to step the bastard driving off! Then there’s doing the watusi down the aisle, child in each hand, as the bus driver takes off like a scalded cat before you can sit down. All of these steps are repeated in reverse at your destination, that’s if the bus doesn’t drive away with one of the sprogs before you get a chance to retrieve them.
Oh, the memories!
Please don’t make me go back there!!
Tradies and delivery vans. A pox on them
Parking in Superquinn on Sundrive road is shite. There should be a luas or maglev line down to Crumlin shopping centre, which has about three shops left open and seven million parking spaces.