Fore!
Posted on | October 22, 2009 | 39 Comments
Stinking Pete and Dirty Dave were both keen par 3 golfers. They would play a couple of times a week but every time Stinking Pete would win.
No matter how well Dirty Dave played or how much he practiced he always lost. Stinking Pete got a hole-in-one on the 18th in their tightest ever game to win and take the few bob they bet on it.
Dirty Dave knew he needed an edge, something to give him an advantage. He decided it was all in the tools so he set about making his own clubs. Trial and a considerable amount of error finally paid off and soon he had the perfect prototype – a stuffed bird from Trafalgar Square attached to the end of a titanium shaft.
Stinking Pete laughed at first but when Dave won a new era dawned – and that was how the game of pigeon putt was invented.
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39 Responses to “Fore!”
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October 22nd, 2009 @ 3:52 pm
cunt..
October 22nd, 2009 @ 4:01 pm
made me laugh.
October 22nd, 2009 @ 4:03 pm
What do you call a crap Jesus?
October 22nd, 2009 @ 4:04 pm
The Meh-ssiah
October 22nd, 2009 @ 4:05 pm
Some would argue that Golf is just Pigeon Putt with a view…..
October 22nd, 2009 @ 4:15 pm
Meh-ssiah is quite good after a while.
October 22nd, 2009 @ 5:07 pm
Groan.
What do you call a zoo with no animals?
A Shih Tzu
October 22nd, 2009 @ 5:52 pm
I hope Dave smashed the fuck out of a few live pigeons before adopting the stuffed variety.
I hate pigeons.
October 22nd, 2009 @ 7:00 pm
Recently I had the opportunity to kick one and also drive over one. I just couldn’t do it. Should have though.
October 22nd, 2009 @ 7:54 pm
What’s through the wardrobe in the Balti House?
Naan-ia
October 22nd, 2009 @ 7:57 pm
haha
October 22nd, 2009 @ 8:02 pm
Quiet in here tonight.
October 22nd, 2009 @ 8:22 pm
We’re all waiting for the BNP cunt at 10.30 on bbc randomnoise
October 22nd, 2009 @ 8:26 pm
We’re all waiting for the BNP cunt at 10.30 on bbc randomnoise
I’m not, I have a life.
Actually no I don’t, I’m still in fucking work
October 22nd, 2009 @ 8:29 pm
Reminder: BBC2 10.30
October 22nd, 2009 @ 8:32 pm
Oh BBC1
October 22nd, 2009 @ 8:35 pm
Just had to google question time to find out what time it’s on.
God bless you interweb, what did we do before you.
He is a terrible hateful cunt, that cuntish racialist prick.
October 22nd, 2009 @ 8:41 pm
He’s just gonna get booed and heckled..
I think he should be stabbed but maybe letting him talk his utter shit might work against him..
October 22nd, 2009 @ 8:54 pm
Almost certainly will, especially in the gentile surroundings of QT. Had a look at the BBC website and there’s a clip of him being booed the second he’s announced.
Phew, almost typed oboed. That would be an odd and surreal way to punish a racialist.
October 22nd, 2009 @ 9:01 pm
Take this you racist cunt..
October 22nd, 2009 @ 9:06 pm
Ha! Fair fucks HM. And it only took seven minutes.
Any odds on twenty’s post tomorrow being about a right wing politician who strikes up an unlikely friendship with a rastafarian and through actually getting to know an immigrant, and by means of lots of dope, overcomes his hate-filled past?
There could be a very long build up to a Nick Spliffin’ punch line.
October 22nd, 2009 @ 9:08 pm
I’d love to know who’s funding the BNP.
October 22nd, 2009 @ 9:13 pm
So you could punch them in the throat?
October 22nd, 2009 @ 9:31 pm
And fire bomb their offices.
October 22nd, 2009 @ 9:39 pm
Read in the papers today that the UK racial equality commission only recently started proceedings to force the BNP to remove a “whites only” clause from their constitution.
No rush there fellas, no hurry in doing your job against a low profile grass roots unorganised back street alliance. With two MEPs, for fuck’s sake.
October 22nd, 2009 @ 10:56 pm
Sinn Féin are sooooooooooooo jealous !
October 22nd, 2009 @ 11:01 pm
I don’t think the Shinners would be anything like as bad as the BNP. I doubt they share the racism of the BNP.
October 22nd, 2009 @ 11:05 pm
http://twitter.com/bbcquestiontime
October 23rd, 2009 @ 12:14 am
You must be joking HM – the BNP are not in the same league – when did they plant car bombs etc etc
October 23rd, 2009 @ 1:43 am
Story with a difference!
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/asia/kyrgyzstan/6407933/Ice-skating-bear-from-Russia-kills-circus-director-in-Kyrgyzstan.html
October 23rd, 2009 @ 2:36 am
I don’t get it. *runs away*
October 23rd, 2009 @ 8:28 am
how does his feet (the bears) fit into such small ice skates?
October 23rd, 2009 @ 9:27 am
Maggot, the IRA where a totally different kettle of fish in fairness. That was about self determination. It was a long political campaign borne out of hundreds of years of history. The murdering of course was wrong but it wasn’t about race. It was sectarianism. SF in the south (and I’m not a SF supporter) generally try to include all members of society and they encourage immigrants to join.
October 23rd, 2009 @ 9:27 am
maggot Says:
October 22nd, 2009 at 10:56 pm
Sinn Féin are sooooooooooooo jealous !
heh
SF fascist fucks
October 23rd, 2009 @ 9:32 am
Oh dear. They’re not facists. If any party in this country is facist, it’s Fine Gael.
October 23rd, 2009 @ 1:40 pm
Go fuck yourself Holemaster – The IRA were/are Cunts, always cunts, be it burning Protestant orphanages in Galway in the 20a or Going into a special needs School in Belfast and abducting a child with severe learning difficulties, torturing him, shooting him in the head and leaving him to die in the grounds of Belfast Zoo in the 70s.
The BNP are scum – but political scum.
October 23rd, 2009 @ 2:39 pm
Steady on there Maggot I didn’t say I liked Sinn Fein or the IRA. But they cannot be compared with the BNP. And come on, there was atrocities on both sides of that conflict. Both were as bad as each other. Civil wars are the worst kind.
October 23rd, 2009 @ 2:56 pm
Pfffft – how come it’s OK for Cunts like Ferris, McGuinness and Adams to be on TV with all the blood on their hands – yet there is uproar because some racist wanker is allowed free speech ?
Self-determination – “Ireland for the Irish, Brits out ” – what is the difference between that and ” England for the English, foreigners out” ?
Of COURSE SF/IRA can and should be compared to purely political parties – they are worse, far worse.
October 23rd, 2009 @ 3:22 pm
Well I really do hope their old ways are well and truly over and they’re serious about peaceful politics. Although Ferris is a total cunt. McGuinness a close second. Adams, I’m not sure. Paisley and his ilk also did a lot to fan the flames with his rhetoric and incitement. He wouldn’t have to say much before there were attacks launched on Catholic estates.
Bad old days. Never want them again.