Crossness
Posted on | October 8, 2009 | 27 Comments
I was listening to Brian Lenihan on the radio this morning talking about politician’s expenses.
“This country”, he says, “is in a serious financial crisis and doing away with Oireachtas expenses won’t change that. We have to see the bigger picture”. Something similar to that anyway.
I was driving at the time and I could feel myself get tense. I mean, nobody suggested for one second that changing how politicians cream in free money all day long claim their expenses would fix the economy. That’s just stupid. And Lenihan saying it is stupid when he knows fine well that it would just make TDs and Senators accountable for what they claim.
Of course, the FFers are in a snot over the way John O’Donoghue has been treated and want to cloud the issue by being wilfully obtuse.
However, the point is it got me cross and I felt like destroying something because everyone knows that when cross a release is needed to calm oneself down. I thought about ramming another motorist but that would have been of little benefit to me or my Honda 50.
If I could have driven somewhere and punched somebody in the face it would have made me feel better. As it was Lenihan who upset then ideally I should be able to punch him in the face. If not him then one of his staff. And if Lenihan wants to be a good boss to his staff he’ll stop saying things which make people want to punch him in the face.
Maybe I should set up a Drive Thru Punchbag Emporium. A series of them across the country. You arrive, pay your money, get a pair of boxing gloves and you can pummel a punchbag until you feel better.
THWACK! ZWONK! POW! BLAM!
And so on until you don’t feel quite so cross. I think it would help everyone’s mood. Especially if the punchbags had pictures of the worst cunts on them.
‘We call this one The Harney because it is gigantic and flabby’.
‘This one is The Cowen because it is gigantic and flabby and smells like oxen’.
‘Good choice, you’ve gone for The Lenihan. Punch it right and its liver comes out. You can keep it too’.
‘The Haughey, yes. Perfect. Just keep your eye on it because if you look away for a second it’ll fuck you’.
‘This one is always a favourite, The Bertie. Yes, it’s only small but it’s shifty as fuck. We don’t recommend women use this one though’.
I wish I had more gumption. I think this one’s a runner.
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27 Responses to “Crossness”
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October 8th, 2009 @ 12:27 pm
The O’rourke, you want to hit it but you can’t cos it looks like your elderly aunt.
October 8th, 2009 @ 12:38 pm
The Willie O’Dea. Oh, the Willie O’Dea is soooo going to get it, the little leprechaun prick.
October 8th, 2009 @ 12:46 pm
The Conor ‘Kebab’ Lenihan, specially for “non-nationals”.
What really, really, REALLY gets me is the lie in the way they all use the word ‘expenses’. O’Donoghue and his Mrs never had to put their hands in their pockets, never had to feed themselves on their junkets. But they stll claimed per diem ‘expenses’. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAARRRRRRRRRGH!
October 8th, 2009 @ 12:57 pm
The fact that FFers are running to his defense just shows how fucking arrogant and distant they are. The whiskey faced cunt gorged on tax money for fuck sake. Then again, in South Kerry they love cunts like that.
October 8th, 2009 @ 1:00 pm
I would dearly love to knock Dick Roche out.
October 8th, 2009 @ 1:05 pm
Martin Ferris..the fucking gangster cunt
October 8th, 2009 @ 1:27 pm
Mary Lou – I’d give her a hammering. Or will you not be doing those sort of dolls ?
October 8th, 2009 @ 1:28 pm
Those fuckers don’t seem to have a clue.
If the spineless Greens manage to lift their vegetable-stained weakling vegetarian hands to vote against the government and bring it down then I hope every FF cunt in the country is removed.
Oh to dream.
They’re moaning about the lack of dignity in The Bull getting kicked out, and plotting revenge. Shifty useless petty dickheads.
And i think it was Brian Lenihan moaning about it being unseemly to go haggle over expenses.
What a fucking useless twat, finance ministers are supposed to have a tight rein on expenses, he acts about as responsibly as a drunken sailor in Las Vegas, he’s only here cos of nepotism. He’s a fucking tool.
AAARRGGGHHH! When’s that punchbag emporium coming out?
I’ll start a partner business called Stabboland, where you get given a knife and lots of sandbag type things with fianna fail heads on them.
October 8th, 2009 @ 2:09 pm
Stabboland, awesome!
And top suggestions from everyone else.
October 8th, 2009 @ 2:30 pm
The Martin Cullen could have a recording on repeat with him droning on his fucking bullshit waffle. You would need a strict time limit though or you might die of exhaustion.
There is definitely soemthing in that idea – use all the closed down petrol stations that never made it into exclusive apartment blocks/slums of the future.
October 8th, 2009 @ 2:45 pm
The Punchbag emporium and stabboland could be amalgamated into “Cuntem in the Bastardland”
A fun park for all the family,you could have
a celebrity area -
Hall of Inane
A sports area-
Drogbaville
it could be put in Phoenix Park with a special Luas line going straight to the ..oh..
October 8th, 2009 @ 3:27 pm
Buggerland:
Everyone gets a strap on with spikes eh, on entry. You then proceed to bugger each politician repeatedly. Although Emmet Stagg might enjoy it. And Harney wouldn’t feel it.
October 8th, 2009 @ 3:36 pm
And Harney wouldn’t feel it.
Open Window…fucking the night…etc…
October 8th, 2009 @ 3:51 pm
Open Window…fucking the night…etc…
My favourite one of those is “like throwing a sausage down o’Connell street.”
October 8th, 2009 @ 3:57 pm
Would they be stab-able? I’d love to stab me some Bertie.
October 8th, 2009 @ 4:10 pm
They should have one where you bring your own frozen poo, preferably studded with Snickernuts and ram it down Bertie’s throat while crying hot tears of hate and frustration, kneeling on his chest while he flails wildly but pointlessly because he has lost all co-ordination and is terrified to the point of mental collapse having been force fed heavy trips all day. The cunt.
October 8th, 2009 @ 4:17 pm
I have a new name for those shits that slither out without a trace with no need for a wipe. I call them Berties.
“I just dropped a Bertie”
October 8th, 2009 @ 4:20 pm
The Teflon Turd..heh
October 8th, 2009 @ 5:07 pm
We should be allowed to drop electronic voting machines on Martin Cullen, stab Bertie with our stupid pencils, run O’donoghue over repeatedly with limos, park hospital trolleys up Mary Harney’s twat (they would so fit) and pour copious amounts of stale guinness into Cowen’s cakehole until he exploded.
Just saying…
October 8th, 2009 @ 5:11 pm
That Harney – she’s hot!
October 8th, 2009 @ 5:58 pm
You’d be hot too if you to haul around 30 stone of lard all day
October 8th, 2009 @ 6:15 pm
What’s the craic with all of the FF party faithful defending of JOD in the papers today?
What a bunch of arrogant cluster fucks!
The only man to stand up and show some balls and leadership during whole debacle is Gilmore. He’s taken the risk and called out this greedy Cunt JOD for what he is when all the others shied away from it. Let’s hope we see a bit more of this in our politics from here onwards.
I’d give anything to have two minutes with that smiling moustached little lick hole O’Dea! Shave off that side parting and moustache and give him a good slap!
October 8th, 2009 @ 6:17 pm
The O’Keefe™
comes with a nail-studded baseball bat for when your knuckles get bloody but you still want to keep swinging
October 8th, 2009 @ 6:20 pm
The O’Dea™
The most popular of the range, complete with strychnine-filled syringe, for when you just can’t be bother expending any energy on the smarmy little turd-guzzling cunt
October 8th, 2009 @ 6:33 pm
The Howlin™
comes with in-built voice-synthisizer which activates on contact, choose from a range of 15 various authentic male and female Abu-ghraib-certified scream-tracks, each identifiable from their humourous descriptive Titles, e.g.: the Ass-raping (sodomised 13yr-old), the shit-stained Hadji, The John Yoo (Testicle-crushed 10yr-old), The Lynndie (naked prisoner dragged accross concrete flooring by a leash on his neck), The Glassed Vag (no description available at time-of-print) etc etc
October 9th, 2009 @ 5:03 pm
Would I be right in saying that the regular posters to this blog have a few anger-management and repressed pschotic tendency issues?
October 9th, 2009 @ 5:05 pm
errr I may have meant to write ´psychotic´ there…