Hahaha, I am laughing, but it’s a laugh of not glee
Posted on | September 30, 2009 | 52 Comments
Sometimes the morning paper reads like a comedy print-out. Not quite funny enough to the The Onion but Irish enough to make you laugh. For example:
Siptu seeks 3.5% pay increase for health staff.
Brilliantly execution of the classic ‘Everyone else is struggling but fuck you, we want a pay rise gag’. At a time when everybody can see that cuts in public sector spending are essential to any recovery, SIPTU want more cash for possibly the worst run agency since Charlie’s Charlie Angels sold blow from above a chipper in Coolock.
I think it’s the subtlety of it that makes me giggle so. And the fact that nobody has yet caved in the heads of these union chiefs.
Next up:
Lenihan expresses ‘frustration’ at not yet seeing bankers in jail
Now this is a work of discerning wit, no doubt about it. A man whose government facilitated, enabled and positively encouraged bankers to behave the way they did, knowing full well what they were up to, expresses ‘frustration’ that they haven’t been sent to jail. What’s funny about this is that we know that Lenihan has no intention of sending any of them to jail, except perhaps the odd immigrant teller who will be exposed as the sinister mastermind behind the whole thing.
“Your honour, it was Prince George Murphy II, from Nigeria, working in Permanent TSB in St Stephen’s Green, who was directly responsible for the demise of Anglo Irish Bank and certainly not their directors who fiddled books, broke rules, made fraudulent transactions, propped up the property bubble, lied to everyone and cost the taxpayer billions”.
It’s the kind of stuff Adam Sandler can only dream of.
Cóir plans to monitor polling and box seals
There are things in this world you can trust. The sun rises in the east, sets in the west. The sky is blue, grass is green, Damien Rice is a warbly annoying cuntspanner and Cóir are unquestionably the most honourable, dependable and reputable people in this whole Lisbon campaign.
I mean let’s forget about the fact they’re right wing catholics, let’s forget about the fact they hate women, gays and immigrants. Let’s ignore their lies, their scare tactics, their disinformation. Let’s ignore the pasts of the people involved in Cóir. Let’s look aside as the links to the despicable Youth Defence are brought to the fore and let us implicity trust the motley crew of mentalist, pencil licking helpers, they’ll have at the polling stations on Friday as they ‘monitor’ the amount of votes cast.
This is like that hilarious film Sideways where they go around touring vineyards. You don’t really give a shit what happens once they all die in the end, the tedious cunts.
The morning paper, I love it.
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52 Responses to “Hahaha, I am laughing, but it’s a laugh of not glee”
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September 30th, 2009 @ 9:54 am
BUSINESS AS USUAL…..GOD HELP THE LOT OF YE.
September 30th, 2009 @ 10:18 am
Yeah, i’d like to make a bet with Lenihan.
“I bet you 54 billion euro that your corrupt ineffectual government will never put any of your fraudulant banking chums in prison”.
Bunch of fannydribblers.
September 30th, 2009 @ 10:24 am
Lenihan’s denial and lack of remorse is common enough.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/manchester/8281033.stm
September 30th, 2009 @ 10:48 am
Uncanny, maggot.
September 30th, 2009 @ 10:51 am
Harold Shipman/Brian Lenihan?
Seems fair to me.
September 30th, 2009 @ 10:57 am
“Coir to supervise dancing in Nightclubs”
:Under a new Government Initiative, Coir will be put in charge of supervising the dancefloors of all nightclubs to make sure there’s no “funny business”…..”
September 30th, 2009 @ 11:00 am
“Quick, there’s a gay black over there impregnating a minor. Now let’s force her to have the child even though the scans show it’s hideously disabled!!”
September 30th, 2009 @ 11:03 am
“Phew!Luckily Lisbon didn’t get through or we’d have to abort the bastard right here on the sticky dancefloor”…
September 30th, 2009 @ 11:09 am
WAIT A MO…ARE COIR AGAINST THE LIKES OF MAGGOT???…THINK I JUST MIGHT SEE SOME GOOD IN THEM AFTER ALL!!!
September 30th, 2009 @ 11:11 am
Moonies, Scientologists, Flatley and Coir – we have them all!
September 30th, 2009 @ 11:12 am
Just because I blabbed about you, your daughter Nonny and Morgor having had a threesome there is no need to be unpleasant Gluey!
September 30th, 2009 @ 11:23 am
That was awesome.
September 30th, 2009 @ 11:24 am
IT WAS NOT UNPLEASANT MAGGOT – NOW IF YOU had BEEN INVITED IT WOULD HAVE BEEN.
September 30th, 2009 @ 11:27 am
Maggot is all fingers.
September 30th, 2009 @ 11:28 am
I don’t have fingers.
September 30th, 2009 @ 11:29 am
http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/newly_discovered_recordings
“”These songs are awful. That one sax solo alone has utterly negated the genius of Magical Mystery Tour and Rubber Soul combined. Certainly this missing link goes a long way toward explaining their solo careers.” In reaction to the discovery, Brian Wilson of the Beach Boys has shown dramatic signs of improved mental health.”
September 30th, 2009 @ 11:44 am
Hold on a minute, why is Brian Lendahand wearing Proinsias de Rossa’s beard?
September 30th, 2009 @ 11:45 am
MORGOR – I THINK YOU MEANT MAGGOT was FINGERED…BY MARY HEARNEY…AND HE liked IT!
September 30th, 2009 @ 11:47 am
Gluey fucking
September 30th, 2009 @ 11:48 am
Wha??? CAPS LOCK Cluey, Fucking CAPS LOCK it should have said
September 30th, 2009 @ 11:51 am
or GLUEY FUCKING even?
September 30th, 2009 @ 11:53 am
Harney is HOT!
September 30th, 2009 @ 12:02 pm
How can you tell, Maggot? Are there sweat reservoirs accumulating in her creases?
September 30th, 2009 @ 12:04 pm
Trust me on this one Lung.
September 30th, 2009 @ 12:05 pm
The ambient temperature of the planet increased by 10 degrees..thats a sign that she’s hot..
September 30th, 2009 @ 12:08 pm
If this blog is ever remembered for anything it’ll be for gathering the most Harney fans of all time ever.
A haven for sick perverts.
September 30th, 2009 @ 12:13 pm
When I asked her about you she blushed Twenty.
September 30th, 2009 @ 12:23 pm
When I asked her about you she blushed Twenty
..20 degrees..
September 30th, 2009 @ 12:25 pm
Leave me right out this maggot.
September 30th, 2009 @ 12:37 pm
Harney in Major lovechild shocker. Rice says he is glad it is all out in the open after decades of secrecy and shame….
September 30th, 2009 @ 12:52 pm
I’m not sure if it was a piss take or not, but one of the papers had a picture of a ‘No to Lisbon’ poster from those coir fuckers. It had simply a picture of a hooker leaning in a car window with the slogan
“with a Yes vote, your children will end up Dutch!”
Was I drunk or did I really see this?
Does anybody else think that RTE are using a sort of reverse psychology to get a ‘Yes’ Vote by giving Gerry Adams and Ganley an inordinate amount of airtime?
September 30th, 2009 @ 12:58 pm
Probably from here, Sam – http://www.creativeireland.com/forums/showthread.php?t=27670
September 30th, 2009 @ 1:04 pm
oh, right so it was a piss take and they are not really that mental. Maybe I should vote No! I think it was in the herald and I can only look at it for so long before I have to look away or my eyes burn…
I wrote a comment on the forum yesterday about shooting radio presenters and saving Tom Dunne and even I cant figure out what the fuck I was on about. And I was sober.
Time for a break.
September 30th, 2009 @ 1:50 pm
A Yes vote will make it legally binding for Gay Latvian Jews with black ancestry to forcefully abort Irish pregnancies and touch up your daughters.
September 30th, 2009 @ 4:09 pm
Spice Burger update!
http://www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/breaking/2009/0930/breaking64.htm
September 30th, 2009 @ 6:19 pm
SIPTU seeking 3.5% pay claim for health works, what the fook, can’t these people see that they’re pushing up the national debt!
Consider the public pay purse before the various social partnership agreements with that of today. You’ll see that it has jumped by over €10BN, when will people get the message!
Bankers being jailed, will never happen in this country. There’s more a chance of out of work Joe Soap who’s just lost his job going to prison for not paying his TV licence before any of these corrupt cunts going to jail. This country is too small and families inter-bred to allow any kind of justice to prevail! If this was the UK or US, they’d have the cunts locked up and arse banged every day for the rest of their lives. If ever there’s a case for Blighty taking over Eire…
As for for COIR a bunch of cock dodging, degenerate in-breds, I’ve seen some of them about town and by jaysus if anyone needs a ride these fuckwits certainly need one!
This country makes me more sick by the day… roll on my visa application is what I say!!
September 30th, 2009 @ 7:38 pm
fuck this im out of here, next port of destination,brisbane austrailia,hasta la viste irlanders.
September 30th, 2009 @ 9:17 pm
Hate to break it to you Harney fans, but she’s in the clink. Customs arrested her at Dublin Airport. They found 20 Kg of crack in her knickers.
September 30th, 2009 @ 9:57 pm
Ahhh….left Ireland two years ago…
Every morning I wake up I am warmed right down to my toes that I do not pay into the black hole that is tax in ireland, that the politicians feel “entitled” to rape and pillage…
a bunch of over-paid wankers who are so devoid of any sense of reality that it beggars belief that they are still in charge.
Why isn’t everybody out in the streets, protesting, walking up to the Fail (Dail) and pulling each politician out by their ears and burning them at the stake?
September 30th, 2009 @ 11:14 pm
I like the irony of a right-wing catholic group like Coir checking for broken seals.
If the ballot box is married is it OK?
October 1st, 2009 @ 12:03 am
heh
October 1st, 2009 @ 12:07 am
Coir (From Malayalam kayar, cord) is a coarse fiber extracted from the fibrous outer shell of a coconut.
October 1st, 2009 @ 7:49 am
God but Sideways was a boring piece of shit. That fucking whingey git needed to get seriously fucking laid.
October 1st, 2009 @ 9:22 am
Damien – “If this was the UK or US, they’d have the cunts locked up and arse banged every day for the rest of their lives. If ever there’s a case for Blighty taking over Eire…”
Sorry, but I’ve a pain in me balls with this whole “Ireland is corrupt, everywhere else isn’t” bollocks. The whole fuckin’ planet is corrupted. We are in the ha’penny stakes with our piddling little concerns.
U.S., eh? So, the regime that conducted electoral fraud to install a puppet president and lied to the UN to start a war for oil are all locked up now, are they?
Yeah, right.
October 1st, 2009 @ 9:24 am
Oh, and, I liked Sideways. The fucking whingey git needing to get seriously fucking laid was the point of the film.
October 1st, 2009 @ 9:45 am
I was still hoping he’d die. Much more that I wondered how on earth that girl sees out of her eyes.
October 1st, 2009 @ 10:20 am
Heh, fair points SG. I do think the UK is somewhat less corrupt than Ireland, and that nordic countries are signifigantly less corrupt.
We’re nowhere near as bad as Italy though. (for example).
Also, yeah i thought sideways was alright, i liked when his thick friend was wine tasting with chewing gum in his mouth.
October 1st, 2009 @ 10:46 am
“Much more that I wondered how on earth that girl sees out of her eyes”
Tiny eyes song from Shooting Stars last night…
October 1st, 2009 @ 10:47 am
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CpWw7IjjmuI
October 1st, 2009 @ 11:31 am
I really hate that Mighty Boosh cunt
October 1st, 2009 @ 11:37 am
I am neutral on the issue of that cunt
October 1st, 2009 @ 2:15 pm
Fair enough, I guess I just didn’t identify with the annoying git.