“Good evening, Nikolajs”, I say as I sit down at my familiar seat at the bar.
“Hello to you Major Twenty”, said Nikolajs. “What will it be that you are having for the drink?”
“A pint of the usual please”.
“Very good. One pint of Ventspils’ Finest Ale is up and coming”.
“You’re a gent”.
“And how are you friends? You know to which ones I am referring. The smelly and stupid one and the smelly and really stupid one”.
“No idea, to be honest. I got a postcard from Dave a couple of months ago. He was on the frontline of the Turkish war. You know, the sooner we retake Constantinople the better. It’s carnage out there”.
“War. Is good for what?”
“Absolutely nothing. Apart from keeping those great military conglomerates in business and we don’t half need them. When you think of all the jobs created since the merger of Intel and Rivada Networks this country would be even more fucked without them”.
“So true”.
“And now that they’re using the talents of the people of Limerick properly to make missiles, bombs and landmines instead of computers we could soon find ourselves out of this recession. What were Dell thinking? PCs. I mean seriously”.
“Snack? I have Owl wings or some de-ionised cabbage fritters”.
“No thanks. Any crisps?”
“Salt and Eel or Mud and Vinegar?”
“Actually, I’m grand”.
“And the other friend? Pete?”
“Oh, who knows? Last I heard he’d been sold to a Bavarian aristocrat to take part in some kind of dungeon based game weekend. I fear the worst, I have to say”.
“These indeed are the pitfalls of the new Europe. But think about all the benefits”.
“You have to look at the upside, no doubt about it. Your €1.87 an hour wages mean the price of a pint has fallen considerably and your many family members provide cheap and easily replaceable labour driving down the price of everything”.
“This year seven of my children have died in construction accidents working on the sites of building of Zeo Developments. But is ok! I have fourteen more”.
“How is your daughter, by the way?”
“Can you believe she is back in the work already?”
“Really? But she only had her abortion yesterday”.
“Yes, and is her fifteenth abortion this year. I am thinking she has addicted to them, you know?”
“They’re all the rage, in fairness. All the cool kids are having them”.
“Kids, these days, so crazy! Can you imagine how would be if Ireland vote No to the Lisbon Treaty?”
“It doesn’t bear thinking about. Ahh, there’s Jimmy”.
“Howya, Twenty. Just been up visting Ron’s grave. I swear I could hear him turning in it”.
“Ahh, you’re probably imagining things”.
“You’re probably right. Pint, please, Nikolajs”.
“Up and coming, Colonel Jimmy. How is going the coup?”
“Bloodily”.
“Excellent”.
“Yes, yes it is”.
And where were you just before 11PM last night Twenty ?
At home reading a book
Any witnesses ? I understand you were seen with a petrol can at the local filling station earlier on in the evening…..
Mmmm… Orwellian…
Just the dog, maggot.
Radge – http://runningclam.files.wordpress.com/2008/06/placa-de-george-orwell.jpg
Owls wings, mud and vinegar…he he he class!
Frankly, your futuristic vision seems like quite an improvement, Twenty.
You don’t hear me complaining, do you?
AND TOU ALL WILL LAUGH THE WHOLE WAY TO THE BANKRUPTCY COURT…
Is that anywhere near the Spelling Tribunal? We could have a pint if so …
Are they introducing the 2/3rd pint glass in the ROI Twenty ?
Jaysus Gluey would ya chill, for fuck’s sake. Are you not living the charmed life of the emigré? Why do you even bother with us lowlifes left behind? Please stop shouting, I have one of my ineptitude headaches.
Edwin Starr, it took a minute.
Good to hear Dave will be keeping those belligerent Armenians and Kurds in their place.
Otherwise they’d be over here taking jobs away from Latvians.
I hear the Chinese are already taking jobs away from Latvians, in Poland.
Why the fuck do all the Irish builders charge more than the Poles? A few of them deserve it for the better quality but the rest are just blarney merchants who like to loaf around during their tea breaks. And I hate the way they drown their tea in milk.
ref for the above…
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/8259153.stm
Why the fuck do all the Irish builders charge more than the Poles?
They have Apartments in Bulgaria to pay for man!! Jesus wept..
I hear the Chinese are already taking jobs away from Latvians, in Poland.
Given the propensity for Chinese built buildings to crumble at even the slightest tremor in the earth I’d be very suspect about letting them build a lego wall, let alone motorways.
The Great wall of China was built by the earliest known members of the Irish Diaspora ?
It certainly wasn’t the Chinese. It’s still standing.
But they’re taking 60% off the guide price and Poland’s not known as an earthquake zone. Free trade’s great, isn’t it?
Sure is. Just don’t sneeze anywhere near it.
God Bless America and Ronald Reagan!
What odds we’ll have Chinese contractors building the ‘outer ring’ around Dublin? Sure wasn’t it Chinese and Irish coolees built the American railroads, it’ll be like old times!
As the Chinese increase in number, the cat population decreases, so you better keep an eye on Throatpipper or he’ll wind up in a won ton wrapper.
I know it all of the time! Major Twenty is military man! What means this?
We will have to be seen him execute!
sounds better than the shit we’re in.
quite odd; I just started 1984 on the w/end. just finished the spy who came in from the cold
we live in as sstrange times as smiley and winston smith
i fucking hate that cunt ganley.
Sure haven’t we always been at war with Eastasia like.
Perfect. Classic Twenty.
No more talk of war in foreign lands pleeze, Rabbi Tiernan and Sin-a-gog are on Eurotrash tonight.