From today’s Indo:
Boris Yeltsin got so drunk during a 1995 visit to Washington that Secret Service agents found him a few hundred feet from the White House clad only in his underwear and trying to hail a cab because, he explained, he wanted a pizza.
Fantastic. That’s a man we can all admire. Forget politics, forget protocol, forget dignity. He just wanted to get absolutely cunted and eat a pizza.
Can anyone imagine Brian Cowen, clad only in a pair of Rab C Nesbitt-esque Y-fronts, pissed out of his mind, scrabbling around the grounds of Áras an Uachtaráin desperately holding his mobile in front of his face trying to work out how to use such a contraption to call the nearest branch of Dominos from a Double Meat Frenzy?
Ok, maybe Cowen is a bad example.
I heard first hand that biffo skulled 6 pints in quick succession at some official function in Galway just a few weeks back. Wasn’t the races either.
On the taxpayer’s dime too, need I even say it. Fat, deformed looking mong.
Yeltsin was too wankered to even get off the plane on an official visit to Ireland, also in ’95 or thereabouts. Mary Robinson and the whole gaggle were waiting for him on the red carpet in Shannon, while yer man was flutered on the plane. Some poor cunt of a Russian diplomat having to make numerous horseshit improvised excuses for the no-show
Fair play to him, I say. Who wants to be dealing with all that protocol shaking hands with cunts stuff?
Yeah. Would be interesting to see what the reaction would be if the shoe were on the other foot though, ie if Biffo or McAleese were too shitfaced to step off the plane on an official visit to Moscow. Putin’d prob send spies to poison the Daìl. Oh, hang on…
Police in the USA are quite tolerant to foreign drunks in my experience, unlike in Scotland where I ended up in a cell under St Giles Cathedral for some off the cuff camping in a garden. One law for the rich and famous ….
How clothed were you?
Camping??
I’m told I was reasonably well clothed but it was winter. Smart-arse magistrate ensured coverage by quipping “more studies less drink” – the local paper loved that one. University senate was considering chucking me out ( bringing into disrepute etc ) but luckily a big wig died and by the time they had dealt with his funeral etc I was old news.
Camping??
Fell asleep under a rose bush.
Did you do hard time, maggot?
Just a grim breakfast of stale roll,margarine, cold sausage slice and very stewed tea, court appearance then slapped wrists in court. An “entertaining sunday night” with 10 in the cell – One irate father moaned a lot about being kept in from Friday for “disciplining” his son – he broke his arm for changing the TV channel.
The camaraderie of sharing some cigarette butts.
Luckily it was opening time when I was released so a couple of pints and some smokes made me feel a lot more human.
Yes, but could you walk properly?
Was there much anal leakage?
I’m surprised at you morgor.
The correct term is ‘creampie’.
There was nothing like that – Edinburgh is the city of Calvin and Knox!
My shenanigans with some friends in Kilkenny one night involved the local special branch hauling us out of a pub and the whole debacle ending up in the papers.
The highlight was one of the lads hailing a taxi which then reversed down the street to his B&B.
Police were much more civilised in London. Apologised to me next morning when they realised I had been sleeping on my own doorstep. But I heard from a friend that the Cops in Liverpool are real bastards to drunks.
“Police were much more civilised in London.”
I beg to differ.
I spent a night in the cells at Notting Hill Gate police station for a fire extinguisher I didn’t steal from a pub.
Cunts even did good cop, bad cop.
Maggot I’d say the cops in Liverpool need to be bastards to drunks. It is Liverpool after all.
…and they are cops, and drunks are easy targets…
Divney – did you not try the masonic handshake ?
HM – fair enough with the locals, scousers don’t count, but visitors ? It’s not difficult to tell them apart, be nice to the drunks who aren’t in shell suits.
What are the Gardai like ?
Gardai are hit and miss. Sometimes they hit you, sometimes they miss.
What are the Gardai like ?
To be honest, they’re alright. So long as you aren’t really thick, or have someone really thick in your company you can very easily outsmart them.
Git – did you see the picture of the lesbian teacher of fluffy handcuffs fame ?
I just looked her up.
Fuck the fluffy handcuffs, I want to know what she was doing at ‘trumpet’ lessons.
If she’s sent to Holloway she’ll be a popular girl!
Phwoarr!
Is there a ‘better’ picture of her than this one?
The Times
Oooh, I found one!
Notice the blue rubber glove!
I always thought those lezzers in porn films were fakes, far too good looking – but I’m not so sure now! The ones I knew in London – Rough!
She’s a bit skanky and not in a good way.
And the transvestites in London are all stunners.
Ironic really.
bit of a change of subject but i thought this shit was sorted and O’Carroll was told to go fuck himself? http://www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/breaking/2009/0922/breaking43.htm
“And the transvestites in London are all stunners.”
Not the fella I saw in the supermarket the other day.
The size of his feet!
I reckon if your feet are bigger than a size 8 you should just not bother,
a nice frock and a bit of nail polish is just not going to swing it for you.
She’s way skanky and more than a little blokelike
Ah, the poor Russians, with their fat, drunken, incompetent and ugly politicians…
Jesus lads, yous are a fussy fucking lot. She’s lovely looking
“He who’s fussy…” and all that,eh Peadar?
I think they are scared of the challenge peadar.
Camping?? like Graham Norton
This would get you arrested in scotland no bother.
I think they are scared of the challenge peadar.
Exactly. I’d change her mind about being a lesbian.
Mary Robinson was a light weight, Mary McAllise would have gone on to the plane to kiss Yeltsins arse she is the best arse licker Ireland has ever produced and we have bred more than our fair share, she’s even had her lips on a couple of Popes rings.
The President wasn’t actually there.
Was she missing like Ronald Reagan’s brain?