Boris Yeltsin is a legend
Posted on | September 22, 2009 | 44 Comments
From today’s Indo:
Boris Yeltsin got so drunk during a 1995 visit to Washington that Secret Service agents found him a few hundred feet from the White House clad only in his underwear and trying to hail a cab because, he explained, he wanted a pizza.
Fantastic. That’s a man we can all admire. Forget politics, forget protocol, forget dignity. He just wanted to get absolutely cunted and eat a pizza.
Can anyone imagine Brian Cowen, clad only in a pair of Rab C Nesbitt-esque Y-fronts, pissed out of his mind, scrabbling around the grounds of Áras an Uachtaráin desperately holding his mobile in front of his face trying to work out how to use such a contraption to call the nearest branch of Dominos from a Double Meat Frenzy?
Ok, maybe Cowen is a bad example.
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44 Responses to “Boris Yeltsin is a legend”
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September 22nd, 2009 @ 9:28 am
I heard first hand that biffo skulled 6 pints in quick succession at some official function in Galway just a few weeks back. Wasn’t the races either.
On the taxpayer’s dime too, need I even say it. Fat, deformed looking mong.
September 22nd, 2009 @ 9:31 am
Yeltsin was too wankered to even get off the plane on an official visit to Ireland, also in ’95 or thereabouts. Mary Robinson and the whole gaggle were waiting for him on the red carpet in Shannon, while yer man was flutered on the plane. Some poor cunt of a Russian diplomat having to make numerous horseshit improvised excuses for the no-show
September 22nd, 2009 @ 9:33 am
Fair play to him, I say. Who wants to be dealing with all that protocol shaking hands with cunts stuff?
September 22nd, 2009 @ 9:39 am
Yeah. Would be interesting to see what the reaction would be if the shoe were on the other foot though, ie if Biffo or McAleese were too shitfaced to step off the plane on an official visit to Moscow. Putin’d prob send spies to poison the Daìl. Oh, hang on…
September 22nd, 2009 @ 9:50 am
Police in the USA are quite tolerant to foreign drunks in my experience, unlike in Scotland where I ended up in a cell under St Giles Cathedral for some off the cuff camping in a garden. One law for the rich and famous ….
September 22nd, 2009 @ 9:55 am
How clothed were you?
September 22nd, 2009 @ 10:00 am
Camping??
September 22nd, 2009 @ 10:03 am
I’m told I was reasonably well clothed but it was winter. Smart-arse magistrate ensured coverage by quipping “more studies less drink” – the local paper loved that one. University senate was considering chucking me out ( bringing into disrepute etc ) but luckily a big wig died and by the time they had dealt with his funeral etc I was old news.
September 22nd, 2009 @ 10:03 am
Camping??
Fell asleep under a rose bush.
September 22nd, 2009 @ 10:14 am
Did you do hard time, maggot?
September 22nd, 2009 @ 10:21 am
Just a grim breakfast of stale roll,margarine, cold sausage slice and very stewed tea, court appearance then slapped wrists in court. An “entertaining sunday night” with 10 in the cell – One irate father moaned a lot about being kept in from Friday for “disciplining” his son – he broke his arm for changing the TV channel.
The camaraderie of sharing some cigarette butts.
Luckily it was opening time when I was released so a couple of pints and some smokes made me feel a lot more human.
September 22nd, 2009 @ 10:25 am
Yes, but could you walk properly?
September 22nd, 2009 @ 10:37 am
Was there much anal leakage?
September 22nd, 2009 @ 10:42 am
I’m surprised at you morgor.
The correct term is ‘creampie’.
September 22nd, 2009 @ 10:43 am
There was nothing like that – Edinburgh is the city of Calvin and Knox!
September 22nd, 2009 @ 10:44 am
My shenanigans with some friends in Kilkenny one night involved the local special branch hauling us out of a pub and the whole debacle ending up in the papers.
The highlight was one of the lads hailing a taxi which then reversed down the street to his B&B.
September 22nd, 2009 @ 11:00 am
Police were much more civilised in London. Apologised to me next morning when they realised I had been sleeping on my own doorstep. But I heard from a friend that the Cops in Liverpool are real bastards to drunks.
September 22nd, 2009 @ 11:06 am
“Police were much more civilised in London.”
I beg to differ.
I spent a night in the cells at Notting Hill Gate police station for a fire extinguisher I didn’t steal from a pub.
Cunts even did good cop, bad cop.
September 22nd, 2009 @ 11:09 am
Maggot I’d say the cops in Liverpool need to be bastards to drunks. It is Liverpool after all.
September 22nd, 2009 @ 11:20 am
…and they are cops, and drunks are easy targets…
September 22nd, 2009 @ 11:22 am
Divney – did you not try the masonic handshake ?
HM – fair enough with the locals, scousers don’t count, but visitors ? It’s not difficult to tell them apart, be nice to the drunks who aren’t in shell suits.
What are the Gardai like ?
September 22nd, 2009 @ 11:25 am
Gardai are hit and miss. Sometimes they hit you, sometimes they miss.
September 22nd, 2009 @ 11:27 am
What are the Gardai like ?
To be honest, they’re alright. So long as you aren’t really thick, or have someone really thick in your company you can very easily outsmart them.
September 22nd, 2009 @ 11:28 am
Git – did you see the picture of the lesbian teacher of fluffy handcuffs fame ?
September 22nd, 2009 @ 11:52 am
I just looked her up.
Fuck the fluffy handcuffs, I want to know what she was doing at ‘trumpet’ lessons.
September 22nd, 2009 @ 11:54 am
If she’s sent to Holloway she’ll be a popular girl!
Phwoarr!
September 22nd, 2009 @ 11:54 am
Is there a ‘better’ picture of her than this one?
September 22nd, 2009 @ 11:59 am
The Times
September 22nd, 2009 @ 12:00 pm
Oooh, I found one!
Notice the blue rubber glove!
September 22nd, 2009 @ 12:03 pm
I always thought those lezzers in porn films were fakes, far too good looking – but I’m not so sure now! The ones I knew in London – Rough!
September 22nd, 2009 @ 12:05 pm
She’s a bit skanky and not in a good way.
September 22nd, 2009 @ 12:06 pm
And the transvestites in London are all stunners.
Ironic really.
September 22nd, 2009 @ 1:37 pm
bit of a change of subject but i thought this shit was sorted and O’Carroll was told to go fuck himself? http://www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/breaking/2009/0922/breaking43.htm
September 22nd, 2009 @ 1:47 pm
“And the transvestites in London are all stunners.”
Not the fella I saw in the supermarket the other day.
The size of his feet!
I reckon if your feet are bigger than a size 8 you should just not bother,
a nice frock and a bit of nail polish is just not going to swing it for you.
September 22nd, 2009 @ 2:20 pm
She’s way skanky and more than a little blokelike
September 22nd, 2009 @ 3:22 pm
Ah, the poor Russians, with their fat, drunken, incompetent and ugly politicians…
September 22nd, 2009 @ 4:04 pm
Jesus lads, yous are a fussy fucking lot. She’s lovely looking
September 22nd, 2009 @ 4:15 pm
“He who’s fussy…” and all that,eh Peadar?
September 22nd, 2009 @ 4:18 pm
I think they are scared of the challenge peadar.
September 22nd, 2009 @ 5:07 pm
Camping?? like Graham Norton
This would get you arrested in scotland no bother.
September 22nd, 2009 @ 5:47 pm
I think they are scared of the challenge peadar.
Exactly. I’d change her mind about being a lesbian.
September 22nd, 2009 @ 6:09 pm
Mary Robinson was a light weight, Mary McAllise would have gone on to the plane to kiss Yeltsins arse she is the best arse licker Ireland has ever produced and we have bred more than our fair share, she’s even had her lips on a couple of Popes rings.
September 22nd, 2009 @ 10:56 pm
The President wasn’t actually there.
September 22nd, 2009 @ 11:01 pm
Was she missing like Ronald Reagan’s brain?