Have you seen that new Kerrygold ad. Irish man comes home with his pregnant German girlfriend. Irish mammy is all ‘Oh, my Irish boy is so great. I can’t say I disapprove of his foreign bird but at least she’s not black, I suppose’, as they stay with her in her picturesque cottage on the side of some mountain down the country.
Irish boy leaves to go back to Germany with his preggers girlfriend after enjoying Mammy’s home cooking which involves lots and lots of Kerrygold butter. Mammy is all tearful seeing her wonderful boy depart with the foreign girl who at least isn’t Asian.
They’re pictured on the return journey, camera pans in on swollen belly, there may be a hand on it or something, and the voiceover kicks in:
He might be born in Germany but his first steps will be in Irish soil.
What in the name of good holy fuck does that mean? Are they going to ensure his feet never touch the ground in Germany?
Or is is something to do with butter? Is the good Irish boy going to be present at the birth with a ready and waiting pound of butter? The minute the half-foreign but at least he’s not an Arab baby is born is he going to mould his feet to the butter? And even if he does it’s butter, not soil. Soil is generally dark and crumbly. Butter is yellow and spready.
What stupid person thought this up? Because whoever it was needs a good kick in their rectum. It’s stupid. It’s more than stupid. It’s at least 4 x stupid. With a good healthy dose of moronic on top. It made me shout at the telly and that’s a stupid pastime in itself.
Don Draper would never put up with something that bad.
Maybe soil, as in poo.
Maybe it’s a sort of threat, like “if you eat kerrygold and then leave the country, we’ll make your children stand in human faeces . . . from Ireland”
I’m going to go and look up to Don Draper is.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Don_Draper
Is this the ad?
http://tinyurl.com/rduhp7
Or is there a newer one?
That’s the one. I seem to have missed the whole bit where he dug up the soil.
Of course you couldn’t bring that into the hospital either. It’s filthy.
Stupid not seeing the whole ad making my entire post redundant.
Sorry.
Not to worry. The ad is still a big load of gash. What the fuck has soil got to do with butter?
And who gives a fuck what soil your baby steps on first, unless you’re some kind of idiot nationalist?
At least they’re consistent in their crapness.
http://tinyurl.com/otwv5u
At least they’re consistent in their crapness.
http://tinyurl.com/otwv5u
Bloody farmers!
You’re still right though twenty, tis fuckin brutal as far as ads go, and ads are generally brutal to start off with.
Whatever old Don would make of that particular travesty (haven’t seen it yet), he never would have greenlit that Barry’s Tea travesty where yer one and her idiot mates head off to the Far East.
“What time is it in Bangkok?”
“It’s PORTY time.”
Fuck off with yourselves you silly dull bints.
Is this a change from the days when Ireland was promoted as a go-ahead modern society that sold itself on it’s attractiveness to commerce and outsiders generally back to parochial Dev-style core values ?
“It’s PORTY time.”
Fuck off with yourselves you silly dull bints.
Haha
“Here we are in Bangkok. I hope we have enough teabags”.
Nonsense, they’d be out getting teabagged.
Maggot – we’ve got to appear all little and Irishy now so Yerp helps out of this recession.
The only good thing about that ad is that he stores the soil in an old biscuit tin, the same type of one my Nana used to have. Ah memories.
We used to dream of having a biscuit tin.
Bit of repetition there. Haven’t had my coffee yet. I’m gone off tea.
Some great stuff in the IT today with Pat Buckley letting rip and the Father Ted like story about the Irish Grandparents association at Knock …. and what about dining 2,000 year old feet in a Dublin House ? Sacred relics ?
And Chris De Burgh story at week end was great !
http://www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/ireland/2009/0914/1224254474558.html
Bit of repetition there.
That would be because I haven’t had my coffee yet.
I’m gone off it, and lashed straight into the beer instead.
children, it doesnt matter what you do for them, love them, care for them, tend to them, protect them, nurse them through illness, in the end it won’t matter and they’ll sign for man city.
If he’s get a fucking biscuit tin of the old sod on a Ryanair flight he must be well over his weight allowance.
Ah you can’t the beat the “is there anything I can ‘elp” ad.
The face on the Ma is something else, as if the german Girl was a lap dancing whore bag with every STD under the sun. And how many coaches do you know with facing seats like that?
Don Draper it isn’t.
I saw an ad for cheese once a few years ago that hasn’t been repeated since. And nobody else I ask has seen it, can’t even find it on youtube.
It’s goin through the usual motions of smiley people eating cheese… then cut to this old guy cooking with a grater and a block of cheese in his hand. He looks at the camera leeringly and says… “How would you like my cheddar all over your vegetables?!!”
Myself and my flatmate nearly fell off the chair.
hah, is that an Irish ad?
“Is zere anysing I can ‘elp” – yeah, catch me some fucking fish, Frenchie.
The obvious thing to do here is to turn things around and imagine a German taking a load of German soil back to Ireland with him so that his offspring, German blood coarsing through his veins, sets foot on German soil before anything else.
Funny thing is the soil he took was probably from the farm of a German organic farmer in West Cork.
No, can’t see it. It’s hard to think of a less patriotic people than the Germans.
The EU funded that soil like a motorway.
It’s hard to think of a less patriotic people than the Germans.
And all credit to them for it. So ask yourself what a German would think of an ad like that on German TV.
Well, they use margarine for a start …
Munchenwürst – All the taste of German sausage – and it spreads straight from the fridge
“Hello German Airport Gestapo?”
“Ja”
“Look out for a brownshirted Irish gobshite with a big tin of explosives cunningly disguised as soil..Oh and he’s way over the 1 litre liquid limit too.”
ahahahahhaha ..what a fuckup twenty
ahhh shur your only human
Fuck Kerrygold and their stupid, racist adverts.
They can stick their butter up their hole, with barbed wire and glass fragments.
I’m buying all me butter in Lidl or Aldi from now on.
I make my own Yoghurt these days.
a coach ..he can only afford to get a bus to the airport with a nipper on teh way … jesus
who’s the bitch in that relationship …
would ya put a bitta butter on that now andre …
me arse … go way and have a good shave you sod thieving bastard
SEE-IT’S LIKE THIS LADS. IF YOU’RE GOING TO END UP IN IRELAND IT’S GOOD TO HAVE SOME LUBRICANT FOR WHEN YOU HAVE TO BEND OVER AND TAKE IT FROM THE PRIEST, FAS, FIANNA FAIL ETC ETC….
SOMEONE WAS WATCHING ‘LAST TANGO IN BALLYPOREEN’ OBVIOUSLY….
Good boy …good boy yourself gluey
You manage to fix that keyboard at last
As long as they got value for their €600K . Every add costs €600 K ? Yes ?
The Farmers have turned on FF – when thieves fall out ?
http://www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/breaking/2009/0914/breaking32.htm
What Idyllic paradise are you residing in Gluaistean?
I’m not sure that the recent comments from GLUAISTEAN were actually from him.
Some of them strayed from the only topic he’s capable of repeating, over and over.
And over and over…
And over…
Yes maggot, the farmers are revolting.
The last line in that link you posted;
…the Taoiseach said: “We will move on and learn the lessons from the past.
Yes Mr. Cowen, like how to speak English!
Sorry, that should read ‘…how to speak the English.’
It was Irish alright… Dubliner or Kilmeaden or some a them. I saw it on RTE. Hasn’t been on the air since!
kilmeaden ..you could call it teh fillet of cheader
bolix that was miley wasnt it
and teh response to the line ..is there anything i can elp …was .you could put a bita butter on those spuds andre …and then he says kerrygold you have this in ireland too …
by fuck how come i could remember the ads but not the fucking poems for the leaving cert …bastards ..tv …bastards
I’ll have to look for it on YouTube now. Must say, though, it does sound rather stupid….
Don Draper (!) is aces…..don’t know what he would do with a butter account, but he did very nicely with the Kodak carousel presentation….
Last night (on Mad Men) they were having difficulties with the Admiral television account (seems they didn’t want to market to certain segments of the population).
Nice time capsule, Mad Men….my (slightly older) husband assures me that yes, things were just like that…men were men and women got to be housewives…..urrrghhhh.
See now, if they’d used the Kerrygold as a lubricant when the German girlfriend was giving birth and said, “He might be born in Germany, but he’ll have a buttery Irish head on him when he comes out”
That would make a bit of sense
Wasn’t it:
‘..there is some-sing I can ‘elp..?’
Also, this is hilarious. The annual think-in. Like they think about it, ooh say.. once a year.
‘..Jayzus Brian, I was just think-in..’
http://www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/breaking/2009/0914/breaking32.htm
Don Draper is the hotness.
Ad Epilogue: Mother looks in kitchen cupboard and frowns.
“That little fecker and his Teutonic tart took me biscuit tin. Now I have to go and buy a feckin’ urn for me big day.”
The show on John Fanning and the “Irish Mad Men” on the other night was well done.
Somehow I don’t think butter would be of much use when giving birth. Though…I have heard of women using olive oil….
A spinal block or an epidural with percocet to follow…now you’re talking….
Hey Girls.
I look like Don Draper.
More importantly I behave like him too.
haha..
heh, HM.
The show on John Fanning and the “Irish Mad Men” on the other night was well done.
Didn’t see that.
If Don Draper asked me to do things with him I’m not sure I could resist.
Being Don Draper
http://tinyurl.com/beingdondraper
A Sunday Times reviewer might accuse you of being overly-Keatsian with your “spready”
Surely this is better than the ‘Hey Dad, who’s takin’ the harses te France?’ ad. What the fuck was that about?
That was Kerrygold too I think.
And I also believe it was ‘there is somezing I can ‘elp?’ followed by ‘well, you could put a bit o’butter on the spuds, Andre’ Twenty, not ‘is there anyzing I can ‘elp.’ Don’t quote me on that though.
Seems nobody else spotted the mistake in the last paragraph – surely you meant “at least 4×4 stupid”. Just been looking at the ad – where does your wan get off calling his mummy Angela, instead of behaving herself like a good German girl whould and addressing her respectfully as Mrs Murphy/Daly/whatever. Jeez, the next thing you know, she’ll be calling her Mum. God, I hope they never show that ad in Germany – I’ll never live it down. BTW, why is your man peeking into the box like that at the end of the ad, does he think the sod might have escaped or is going to jump out and bite him?
Hah! I was thinking the exact same thing after seeing this ad. Also thought it was a bit condescending towards Germans, “Shure he moightve been conceived in a shitty country full of Nazi’s, but atleast he’ll be born on pure, pristine Oirish soil”.
This is the kinda ad you would have to show Americans with a bit of Irish heritage, Irish folks don’t buy that cheesy (buttery?) shit..
I think Irish International are responsible but can’t check as their website is down…
As for “..there is some-sing I can ‘elp..?” I remember someone telling me they always heard the next line as “Well you can put a bit of butter up me arse Andre”
Can’t think of that ad any other way now…
Last Tango in Kerry – Gold…
First time I heard about the Andre-kerrygold ad some had replaced the word butter with vaseline and that’s still the way I remember it…
“Ah Vaseline, you ave that in Ireland too?”
“Is there something I can elp?”
“Well you could put a bit o vaseline on the knob Andre”
that fool on the train with a box of dirt (thick culchie) how the fuck is the idiot going to get that through the airport … as soon as customs get a load of this cunt theyll take that box of dirt off the simple fucker … idiot and slut . i bet the kid aint his either