RTE’s new schedule
Posted on | August 13, 2009 | 36 Comments
via @unarocks
- “Victoria and Shane’s Garden follows rock wife Victoria Mary Clarke as she tries to get husband Shane McGowan to live The Good Life.”
- “The Savage Eye : Satirical and often surreal examination of subjects close to the hearts of the Irish people with Dave McSavage
- Karl Spain Wants to Rock! – Karl Spain searches for Ireland’s greatest hard-rock tribute band.
- Podge & Rodge’s Stickit Inn – Every Tuesday night Podge & Rodge host a quiz with a difference from their new hangout The Stickit Inn
You know, I always liked those posts where you made up potential TV shows. For example:
- Gay Burns – former Late, Late Show host talks to pyromaniac homosexuals who like to set each others balls on fire
- Mooney and the Moonies – Derek Mooney goes undercover to join weirdo religion, the Moonies and bites off more than he can chew
- Seoige girls – Gráinne and Síle travel to Vegas to work as pole dancers in a hilarious new rom-com-reality show
But now RTE have gone and spoiled it by making their real schedule even more ridiculous than I can make up.
Spoilsports.
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August 13th, 2009 @ 1:47 pm
“By Hook or by Crook” George Hook competes against master villain The Viper to find treasure buried somewhere in Ireland.
August 13th, 2009 @ 1:57 pm
“There’s Something about Miriam”
Brave contestants compete in a “Fear factor” type contest,the bravest of which get to spend the night with Miriam O’Callaghan and try to make it till dawn without being devoured by her Massive-Massive Vagina..The Winner wins an engraved rolled Gold Biro Pen for Cross in Ballinasloe..
August 13th, 2009 @ 1:58 pm
Hold on, before I go thinking up puns, is that Shane MacGowan one for real?
Or am I missing something?
If it is, it’s probably the greatest program ever.
August 13th, 2009 @ 2:00 pm
Yes, it’s real, apparently.
August 13th, 2009 @ 2:24 pm
I’m loving that story from Brazil – I always wondered about Nick smarmy Ross and Crimewatch.
I’d like to see a Clerical Big Brother ( Gedditt ? ) where dodgy clerics share a house with convicted paedos and every week a lucky viewer gets to execute one of the dirtbags.
August 13th, 2009 @ 2:27 pm
How Long Will You Live? Revisited
The ever-popular Doctor Mark Hamilton returns to eight previous How Long Will You Live? participants.
RTÉ One, Tuesday, 8.30pm
Fuck me, is that for REAL? You sick fucks.
August 13th, 2009 @ 2:31 pm
Blondini:They only revisit 5 of them….
August 13th, 2009 @ 2:39 pm
They only revisit 4 of them???
How can you make a half hour program about 3 dying people?
Have they no sympathy for those 2 poor souls?
August 13th, 2009 @ 2:45 pm
Or the one thats still alive..
August 13th, 2009 @ 2:50 pm
He’ll be turning in his grave.
August 13th, 2009 @ 2:52 pm
He was cremated..
August 13th, 2009 @ 3:40 pm
The Katy French Connection.
Bikini-clad Assets models go undercover to bust Irish drug rings. Now that would be a fucking Tv show.
August 13th, 2009 @ 3:41 pm
Reeling from the years – Where TV personalities are forced to bear witness to the shite they presented
August 13th, 2009 @ 3:41 pm
pat kenny presents the late late show, now that would be worth staying in for.
August 13th, 2009 @ 3:41 pm
MMN – heh, tops.
August 13th, 2009 @ 3:45 pm
The Gerry Rhine Show
Frog-necked Clontarf chubby is drowned in Germany.
August 13th, 2009 @ 4:03 pm
hah
Tubbyridy Tonight – Ryan is force fed like a foie gras goose and then given just 6 weeks to shed the weight before he’s trussed up and roasted over a pit in the Ivy Gardens.
Maybe we could call that Gavage Garden
August 13th, 2009 @ 4:04 pm
“Derek Mooney goes undercover to join weirdo religion, the Moonies and bites off more than he can chew”
Ah what joy that would be…If i won the lotto I would spend every penny getting it commissioned!!
August 13th, 2009 @ 4:10 pm
CSI – My Anus
Each week a terrible crime is carried out in the rectal tract of Eddie Irvine. A team of crime scene specialists has to climb in and figure out what happened, knowing one wrong move, one slight tickle of the prostate, could be fatal.
August 13th, 2009 @ 4:11 pm
Little and Large Mudwrestling – Mark Little and Mary Harney get down and dirty
August 13th, 2009 @ 4:14 pm
Charlie’s Angels.
Charlie Bird has three gorgeous angels, Glenda Gilson, Lorraine Keane and Cathal O’Searcaigh, who he bosses around to solve exciting missions often involving poems and a cheeky fiddle with a Nepalese teenager.
August 13th, 2009 @ 4:19 pm
One night you’ll turn on the TV and find that you are now a reality star who was secretly filmed coming and going from house to bar to house to bar to house,to bar, etc.
August 13th, 2009 @ 4:25 pm
Eamonn Low – Fly on the wall documentary where the cameras follow Eamonn Dunphy around for the weekend whenever he falls off the wagon,the studio audience can guess how many leeson street bouncers he molests for prizes..
August 13th, 2009 @ 4:25 pm
car keys and clutch. scummers race against the clock to break into houses,kick fuck out of the owners and steal keys to motors, before burning the bastards out on the tallaght bypass.
August 13th, 2009 @ 4:56 pm
Celebrity Barrister.
An anonomous member of the public gets to wear a gown and wig.
Not bad eh?.
Then you charge 2500 yo yos or guineas for services rendered.
And you get a briefing fee.
August 13th, 2009 @ 5:31 pm
The Taoiseach’s tea-shop : Brian Cowen is put in charge of a delightful tea room in Foxrock, but can he turn a profit before the year is out or will he have to be bailed out like those pesky bankers?!
August 13th, 2009 @ 6:17 pm
talk to joe (dolan) only €58 per minute,sponsered by irish physics live
August 13th, 2009 @ 8:08 pm
Putting on the Fritzl: celebrities are flown off on what they think will be a luxurious weekend at a famous Paris hotel, but instead end up staying in an Austrian basement. For 14 years.
August 13th, 2009 @ 8:13 pm
If I were in charge I’d commission a mid-day wimmin’s hour with all the well known personalities, Claire McKeown, Nell McCaffery, Twink, Ivana Batchick, Mary Lou, Celia Larking and Bean Uí Wifeswappin’sodomites and anyone else with a bee in their bonnet, and have them discuss the topics of the day.
August 13th, 2009 @ 9:23 pm
Rte Celebrity Death Match : Get all of them ” RTE Celebrities ” into a small room, with rats and feed them crystal meth and whisky and play heavy drum and bass 24 hours a day and the audience rings in and gets the to perform tasks so that they can win small prizes, such as going insane.
August 14th, 2009 @ 1:21 am
They will never top that hilarious joke where Pat Kenny presented the Late Late Show and ran it into the ground.
3 of the best:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OiIsIE8iT28&feature=PlayList&p=C7DE9513C250C505&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=25
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ypQyOZq7Eg&feature=PlayList&p=FD69362664FADC94&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=79
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yGZbpHmxBgY
August 14th, 2009 @ 8:48 am
Jaysus Twenty you scared the living shite out of me by making me ponder a world where Dave McSavage had his own tv show for 2 mins…
In short, I was reaching for the cyanide…
August 14th, 2009 @ 8:56 am
I know the simple solution is to simply not watch it but that’s for pussies.
August 14th, 2009 @ 9:42 am
“The Best of the Weather”
Some of most hilarious and heart rending moments from the RTE 1 weather bulletins.
August 14th, 2009 @ 11:31 am
Wow, David McSavage got another job at RTE….
Not bad for an unfunny comedian.
August 14th, 2009 @ 4:54 pm
Would you not think of producing some shows of your own?
How about:
“Twenty Questions and Answers” – Award Winning™ blogger Twenty Major Hosts a panel of political figures and asks them about the many ways they were cunts this week.
“Twenty/Twenty” – A sit-com set in an opticians for some reason. Award Winning™ blogger Twenty Major is cloned with hilarious results.
“Twenty Twelve” – A Big Budget Disaster Drama, Earthquakes! Volcanoes! Tidal Waves! Those Dastardly Mayans are trying to bring about the end of the world. Award Winning™ blogger Twenty Major must struggle against the odds to save us, but can he triumph against a culture who have no word for twenty?