It started easily. A quick bump in the pub, the top of a pint spilled.
“Sorry about that, mate”.
“I’m not your fuckin’ mate. Watch where you’re going”.
“Jesus, chill out man. It was an accident. Let me get you another pint”.
“Is that gonna dry up the fuckin beer that spilled on my arm, is it?”
“Erm .. no. Look, no real harm done. Let me get a pint for you and leave it at that”.
“Yeah you’ll get me a pint. And a shot of JD”.
“What?”
“Spillage tax. Get me a JD”.
“Tell you what, I’ll get you a pint of my own piss. How about that?”
“You being smart, you cunt?”
“I’m not the one looking for free drink after a simple accident. And you’re the cunt, you cunt”.
“Is that right? Would a cunt do this then?”
The pint glass is brought down on the table, beer spills, jagged edges protrude from the bottom. An arm swipes, a large gash appears in an arm, blood flows. The one with the cut arm loses his reason altogether, goes at the other man, strangling him with all his might, so caught up his rage he doesn’t notice the glass slicing away at his side as his opponent struggles to breathe.
It has all happened in an instant. From perfect calm there is now flawless violence. That is, until a voice speaks.
“Dave. Pete. You pair of stupid twats. Give that shit a rest, clean up the floor and sit the fuck down before I cave your heads in”.
“Yes, Ron”, they say. “Sorry about that”.
Yes, but who shut the fucking window?
Ah the old violence filling the void left by intelligence.
…or lack of
It doesn’t matter who shut the fucking window once the fucking window got shut.
It’s a primal urge, HM. Cavemen having at it.
What you looking at?
How the fuck would I know, but it’s looking back!
“What you looking at?”
runs through all possible permutations, comes up with standard response
[smack]
fuck talking
“You lookin’ at my bird?”
“No”
“You saying she’s ugly?”
“No”
“Then what?”
“I’m confused”
Can’t bring them anywhere.
I’ve never been in a fight. Not since I was about 10 anyway when you used to get marked for a scrap down by the bikes after school.
That Gordon Mack was one nasty fucker.
Some cunt pushed into me on the escalator last week.
I didn’t let it escalate though.
He was bigger than me.
You cant bate the aul classic Abrakebabra 3am altercation
“C’mere I want you” — SMACK!!
No dialogue,no arguements,no reason…just randome mindless violence with no blame or guilt involved..
Mary Lou – she scares me,rougher and tougher every year – pic in Irish Times. No wonder Gerry and Martin look scared!
She looks like she’s had a stroke..
does anyone else find her sexy? or is it a power thing…
Martin Ferris has the horn for her i heard…
Well i’d give her one (I know Im not the only one)
INanyways if ya dont like i’ll box the face of ya
Mary Lou has orange skin which is ironic. Ugly munter.
does anyone else find her sexy?
she used to be an Irish Version of Posh Spice – 6 pints and end of the night – but these days she looks more Planet of the Apes.
And Toireasa Ferris is going downhill rapidly.
Maggot, you still would though, to be fair.
And when it gets bad, you can just whack off onto the massive election poster of her that was nicked to put up in the bedroom.
Maria Parodi… rarrrr
http://tinyurl.com/lp5xrf
Toireasa Ferris is gorgeous, Mary Lou is a dog
Great stuff… shades of Begbie
Labour, Maria Parodoi – what a class act!
Dave – it’s a close call. Doesn’t Babs look like a dominatrix though ?
Jesus – did anybody see the picture of Cowen and Obama ? Looks like Obama is feeling him up?
Pic 3
http://www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/features/2009/0811/1224252358149.html
Rebecca Moynihan – Vote Labour!
http://www.flickr.com/photos/labourparty/3254946221/in/photostream/
If Mary Lou could shit out her minge she’d be sexier than Megan Fox.
*googles megan fox*
*but finds Georgia Salpa*
http://tinyurl.com/n4b92c
http://www.maxim.com/girls/44066/worlds-hottest-politicians.html#9
one could bring an entire new meaning to “dig baby dig”
Ségolène Royal – yes please.
Mary Lou sexy?
If I had a bag of mickeys I still wouldn’t give her one.
Did your mammy never tell you to share?
Oh come on, she has a cute little smile.
http://www.independent.ie/multimedia/archive/00186/marylou_186378c.jpg
Jesus. This has escalated out of all control
Oh come on, she has a cute little smile.
Dogger’s nightmare
Great dogging car park in Co. Cavan near the…. oh, wrong site.
wrong site but sure go on anyway, near where?
I think you want this peader…
http://www.swing4ireland.com/dogging.html
Cheers Jonny, it can be difficult to find new and interesting places to walk the dog
and what better place to promote them
Jesus in a chicken basket, there’s a site very near my home. Oh how funny would it be to go up there with an industrial spotlight and loud speaker.
haha that would be funny. You could do a commentary
I dare ya.
Make sure the loudspeaker is turned up to 11
and is playing, ‘How Much is that Doggy in the Window?’
It appears from that link that northsiders are the dogging enthusiasts of dublin
There’s one around my way too but apparently they don’t go all the way…
“Donabate beach, about half way up.”
This thread sure escalated.
Re: the original post, it sounds like a pub fairy tale. Re: Megan Fox, why did she wear that white dress in Transformers 2?
Women are a mystery Liv.
i’m sorry, am i missing something here?- we’re irish men. we’re genetically predisposed to alcohol and violence and bitchery (as cultural traits, they don’t combine well) . well, i am anyway, and most of my mates, and i’m very nice, you’d love to meet me in a bar in melbourne. jusr dont start acting the bollocks.
in such a situation most waiters will do this…..
1. run in opposite direction
2. get doorman, “quick quick men fighting…won’t somebody think of the waiters!!”
3. watch from behind bar whilst recoding on phone for later review/youtubing
4. go home and brag to partners and friends that they stopped a massive brawl this making themselves heros
true story…