Monthly Archives: July 2009
‘Record’ shops
I used to live my life in record shops. Buying records mostly. I know most them don’t do records any more so they can’t really be called ‘record shops’. Although I was in Tower not so long ago and they … Continue reading
Bin bother
I recently took delivery of a brown bin from Dublin City council. This is to add to my black bin (normal waste) and my green bin (recyclables). The brown bin is for ‘organic’ waste, so your potato peelings, egg shells, … Continue reading
Some thoughts
An Bord Snip Nua sounds stupid to me. If they were advising on vasectomies that would be one thing but it’s like taking advice from an economist called Thrifty McSpendalot. So the Greens voted against the government. What a shame … Continue reading
The first step?
A report from the Irish Nightclub Association has called for longer opening hours. Hurrah. However, it’s typical that they have to dress it up to show how much extra tax might be made from it instead of being able to … Continue reading
Eircom woes
Eircom last night confirmed that a ‘catastrophic loss of internet’ was suffered by a large group of users due to what it called ‘some shit or other’. “We don’t really have the first fucking clue”, said a spokesman this morning. … Continue reading
One can but dream
Time: Last night Place: Ron’s Bar “Would it be worth it, Twenty?”, asked Dirty Dave. “Oh fuck yes”. “You sure?” “No question about it. You’d be a hero. A legend of all time”. “You think?” “Think? I know. You’d go … Continue reading
A plague I say
In a couple of hours standing outside the Stag’s Head we were bothered/accosted by at least six different beggars. One very drunk bloke wearing sunglasses who got quite aggressive. Two scabby beardy looking fuckers, and three of four groups of … Continue reading
Music festivals
Perhaps it’s the old curmudgeon in me but I find the idea of spending any time in a field with thousands of other people absolutely abhorrent. Firstly, I’m not a fan of fields. I accept that they serve their purpose … Continue reading
Gardening advice
I have some poppies growing my back garden. I’m not sure how they got there. I’m assuming some kind of stork flew overhead after a visit to Afghanistan and dropped some seeds which did their seedy stuff and started to … Continue reading
I have some poppies growing my back garden. I’m not sure how they got there. I’m assuming some kind of stork flew overhead after a visit to Afghanistan and dropped some seeds which did their seedy stuff and started to grow.
So, how many do I need to make a steaming hot batch of good old-fashioned opium?
As times are tight I’m thinking of converting one of the rooms in my house into an opium den. A place where the refined gentleman, the highly intelligent deer-stalker sporting detective, can come and get smashed off their face for an hour before heading back out into to the mundanity of every day life.
Some Ikea futons and some plump cushions would suffice for the reclining and it’s amazing how readily available oil lamps are over the internet.
So all systems are go, I just need the horicultural advice here folks. A free opium session for the most effective counsel.