I’ve just heard about this awful thing called ‘couchsurfing’.
As far as I can gather you sign up at their website and then you meet complete strangers from other countries and let them stay in your house. What a ghastly concept.
Not only are strangers best avoided at all costs but strangers from other countries may bring with them weevils or communicable diseases for which we have no cure. These backpacking, too cheap to stay in a even a grotty hostel, more than likely vegetarian types then stay in your home and probably rifle through all your drawers while you’re having a poo or sleeping or having a sleep poo. Imagine if one of them stayed on your couch and had a wet dream? Do you think they’d say anything? No they would not and you would then spend the rest of your life sitting on some vagrant’s dried up duck butter when watching TV.
Apparently thousands of people do this. What in the name of all that is good in this world makes people let complete strangers into their home?
I wouldn’t entertain the presence of a fairly well known acquaintance in my house. Even the friend of a friend is a too loose a connection and they would be told in no uncertain terms that they were not permitted to cross the threshold. It’s no wonder people are so fucked up if this kind of shite, dressed up as ‘generosity’ and ‘friendliness’ and ‘culture sharing’ is taking hold.
I might sign up for it just so I can tell people who ask if they can stay with me to fuck right off.
Still not as reprehensible as ‘Toilet Surfing’ Twenty. That’s when a perfect stranger arranges to visit your house and share a pot with you while you both empty your bowels.
A single flush reduces the strain on the environment — thus goes the science. I tell you, you don’t know awkwardness until you’ve engaged in uneasy, co-toilet seat banter with a guy named Larry.
Nobody gets near my throne.
Cuntsurfing morelike..
You get to have sex with young European women or so I’m told.
That’s what they want you to think. It’s more likely you’ll be raped in your bed by an androgynous looking hitch-hiker called Gunther from Berlin.
Is anything more personal and sacred than one’s own bog? In Maggot Hall visitors are directed out into the neighbours’ gardens.
“Sure Mr Dahmer, stay as long as you like”
Perhaps the key is to own a ferocious, ill-tempered Rottweiler (probably called Tyson), bred to be abnormally possessive of the couch.
When you yourself are retiring to bed, hand the ‘surfer’ a full-sized ham, nod toward the Rottweiler dozing on the couch, and say, “you’ll probably be needing this to shift him.”
Yeah, but you’ve already let them into your house. It should never get that far.
And to make it worse I bet a lot of the cunts are actual surfer dudes. Fucking bastard wasters bumming around the world so they can “catch some awesome waves”. Is there anything more pointless in the whole fucking world than surfing? Swim out, wait for a wave, get washed in, swim out wait for a wave, get washed in, swim out………
And you get cold and wet while doing it.
Missing an opportunity to cull at least some of the degenerates dragging society down Twenty.
Glass of rohypnol shandy, tap on the head and a nice long leisurely soak in an acid bath.
Too messy maggot, and while any who couchsurfs is clearly a worthless cunt there are those out there who deserve the acid bath more.
I think surfers are nature’s way of telling us that sharks are on the wane.
Ideally, you want at least four sharks for every surfer on earth, to keep surfer numbers under control. Otherwise, you’re talking about organising surfer culls every few years.
I believe a short, sharp blow to the cranium from a sledge hammer is regarded as the most humane way to cull a surfer.
there are those out there who deserve the acid bath more.
One has to do what one can Twenty. After all where would we be if a copper witnessing a mugging thought* to himself “there are worse crimes than that I should be tackling” ?
* or what passes as thought.
does it have to be humane?
Not necessarily Peadar, but nor do you want to be dragged down to the level of a surfer. We pay them the same respect we would an ailing platypus, or an orangutan with a migraine. We bludgeon it, with the fewest strokes possible.
I’m going surfing next week weekend.
Bring it.
I’m shocked
I’m going surfing next week weekend – oh…my….God…it’s one of THEM….KILL IT, KILL IT!!!
Not down with the whole culture of it, but surfing is the bee’s bollocks
Surfing itself I have no real issue with. Couchsurfing is a cunt’s pastime though.
Hippies are far worse than surfers.
They’d leave patchouli oil all over the couch along with their stinky vegan soy milk farts.
There’s a bulletproof way to take a vegan Couchsurfer out of circulation Medbh. Tie them to the couch, and at knifepoint, force feed them a pig’s worth of bacon and sausages.
Then untie them, sit back, and watch the suicide unfold.
I can smell them already. Worse than dog farts.
Watched Point Break last night,pile of shite but highly entertaining.The Surfing scenes are really well filmed.
No interest in ever doing it though..
Not down with the whole culture of it, but surfing is the bee’s bollocks
Surfing itself I have no real issue with
YOUR SITE HAS A VIRUS TWENTY, SHUT IT DOWN SHUT IT DOWN BEFORE WE’RE ALL INFECTED
Point Break was largely based on a true story, though in the real-life case, it was badminton instead of surfing.
An undercover cop infiltrated a band of adrenalin-junkie shuttlecock-lovers who’d been illegally overstaying their allotted time in pay-and-display parking spaces. A messy, messy business.
I’m very very crap it and haven’t done it in years. You need be a strong swimmer to do it well and I ain’t one of those.
I like Flann
Couch surfing, toilet surfing … have done with it and just let them sleep in the tub.
The one with the acid in it?
Yeah, ya can’t beat a nice creamy flann
The only way those moochers will repay you for you kindness is by leaving after they eat you out of house and home–hopefully without your credit cards and other valuables. And you can bet your sweet ass that they will never tell you where they live the cheap shits.
Loco Lobo is right. They should be killed.
Surprisingly, I’ve just wasted about 20 minutes searching for couchsurfing horror stories online but could only find a handful.
That’s because you can’t leave a bad report when you’re raped and dead.
Indeed – need to search with a ouija board rather than going online.
I’ll bet Mohammed Yusuf regrets couchsurfing the local nick. No messing about with those Nigerian lads. No silly and insulting claims about escape attempts.
“He has been killed. You can come and see his body at the state police command headquarters,”
http://www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/breaking/2009/0730/breaking32.htm
Web surfing is Ok though, right? Cos that’s how I came across Twenty.. I was Googling “find a cure for Phil Collins”
Sadly there is still no cure.
I shared a flat in Paris once with a guy who was part of one of those open house organizations and you’re absolutely right Twenty. It was a total pain in the hole. All boring middle-aged hippies and no young Swedish girly backpackers as I’d initially hoped.
There is a place where you are forced to share your private sleeping space with an obnoxious stranger. It’s called prison. And why anyone would voluntarily want to be in that situation is beyond me.
“Couchsurfing” might lead to BEDBUGS. Apparently these are a problem now in some NYC hotels…..people bring them over in their luggage, they nest in the mattresses and then suck the blood of subsequent tourists (ugh). They leave nasty great welts, too.
I’ve been hosting people from couchsurfing and hospitalityclub for two years and it’s always been great. I get to approve everybody, of course. I don’t take in people i don’t think i’ll get along with or people i know nothing about.
It’s not cs fault you’re friends are dickheads, sorry.
Actually, two friends from notthingham who came to us two years ago via hospitalityclub are coming back here tomorrow to see us again.
I don’t see what the fuss i about really. got nothing better to complain about? I’m gonna make myself a nice cup of hot tea and then go to bed and i suggest you do the same. It’s awesome.
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you must not use it. you dont have to defend yourself.
Twenny, yera riot, ‘join just to tell ‘em to fuck off’ …
Couchsurfing is great and so is surfing & if yez don’t like ‘em fuck off and moan on some anonymous online forum like the curmudgeonly little gropers that you are.Present company excepted, Twenny.
Couchsurfers are not timidly introspective paranoid unstable personality types that shriek at the thought of someone they don’t know ‘invading’ the personal shrines of sanctity with which they try and beat off the encroachment of reality into their own little worlds.
Couchsurfers aren’t just looking for a free bed either, they just want to meet people when they travel to a new place and see what it’s like, and hanging out with a local is ten times better than hanging out in a hostel where you are way more likely to meet those irritating gits ( begrudgers
)
You can join and just make yourself available to meet people out for coffee/drinks and if they turn out to be normal well-balanced types you can take some antacid to cure your instinctive bitterness and try to reach out, but not to rohypnol their drinks, that’s naughty.
The size of your world is dictated by your courage, so that oughta stretch to at least a bed sit, more than enough room for a couch.
I feel strangely lighter now, as if I’ve had a large and satisfying poo.