Cram it shorties, you are what you are

Apparently a group called ‘The Little People of America’ wants the word ‘midget’ banned because they say it’s just as offensive as any kind of racial slur. Imagine how black midgets must feel?

What a load of bollocks but shit being the way it is we’d best be prepared for it to go through. I refuse to call them ‘little people’ so we have to think of some potential new names:

Arnolds.

Knee shiners.

Minimen.

Weenchywomen.

Hairless Ewoks. – my personal choice.

Any more? And before anyone says anything some of my best friends are midgets*

* This is a lie. Midgets creep me out like Dana in suspenders.

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46 Responses to Cram it shorties, you are what you are

  1. Toronto Icarus says:

    Oompa Loompas

    Lilliputians

    Little Runts….

  2. Holemaster says:

    Pint Holders

    Funsizers

    Semisians

    Halfricans (for the black ones)

  3. jonny friendly says:

    Rascals

    Stumps

    The Wee ones

    Circus Folk

    A juggling challange/mobile dumbbells

    “Funsizers” – that’s poetry!!!

  4. porridge says:

    micromen
    lowriders

  5. Limmypins says:

    Shortarses

    Creepy little cunts (CLC)

    Black midgets should be called Mini Fillets, after the KFC burgers obviously.

    Pocketsized

    Leprechauns?

    small portion- smortion

  6. jonny friendly says:

    nano nigels

  7. blondini says:

    Willie (Flap) Draggers

  8. boscospants says:

    blowjob specialists

    mini uses

    tom cruises new super race of sciencetologist

  9. blondini says:

    Wrinkly kids

  10. blondini says:

    Lautrekkies

  11. Jackart says:

    I don’t know what they are called, but I want one to serve drinks at parties by balancing a small tray on his (it’s?) head

  12. Feynmans Ghost says:

    dana in suspenders …

    mmmm ..uuuuzzzziiiipppp

  13. Feynmans Ghost says:

    Try some of those out at the hobbit house in manila philippines

    http://www.hobbithousemanila.com/index2.html

  14. peadar says:

    You’re one sick fucking cunt.
    Who else would even put Dana & suspenders in the same sentence?

  15. peadar says:

    squirts

  16. eamob says:

    Galway’s most famous resident will hunt ye all down!

    http://www.facebook.com/pages/Seamus-the-Dwarf/66790101150?ref=ts

  17. itchybollix says:

    I was in my local the other evening and a midget walked in. I was thinking…is a midget or dwarf? Anyway. Everybody was greeting him like he was a superstar. All this pretend “guffawing” shite from all and sundry; then we all went home our seperate ways to our little existences and smoked a bowl on the balcony with our air stewerdess neighbour. Well. I did. It’s a small world. No pun intended.

  18. Personally I feel highly offended that you would use a word that negatively associates fine, noble flying insects with those short-arsed little fuckers.

  19. Loco Lobo says:

    Once this law passes dwarfs, midgets and other assorted little pricks won’t have to look up to us lofty folks any more. Yep, the law will see to it that we’re all even. Now we’ll have to find new names for the great sports of midget wrestling and midget tossing.

  20. el cuno says:

    whileyouredowntheres

  21. JJ Celery says:

    Demo versions?…

  22. peadar says:

    space savers

  23. 10 PARK DRIVE says:

    You are evil, Twenty. I happen to be a little person myself and am deeply offended by your insensitivity. I have a good mind to fly over there and thump you in the kneecaps

  24. JJ Celery says:

    … with your head? :P

  25. johnjoeward says:

    my stepbrother is a dwarf,we always called him brian smallman coz thats his fucking name,ya couldnt make it up.

  26. noddy says:

    Works in progress

  27. bleedin fuckin hearts says:

    I`m a dwarf not a “little person” as my cousins in the states would have me, but all joking aside its not easy spending your life looking up to all you cunts and I bet yid be all patronising fuckers if you met me in work or at a party while internally weighing me up with “oh! what a big head he has” and “ooh! arent his legs really short”. Anyway I`ve been around forty years like this and I`m in the wrong place for any empathy from you cuntin goliaths

  28. Twenty Major says:

    I’d run away from you but I do like ‘cuntin goliaths’.

  29. DD says:

    Hatchbacks.

  30. idlebones says:

    Far away People

  31. Mosheen says:

    Dana in suspenders with a midget…

    mmmm ..uuuunnzzzziiiipppp

  32. bleedin fuckin hearts says:

    I had a doberman when i was a kid, went everywhere with me, but he was terrified of small aggresive dogs like terriors, an apparent natural fear for big dogs as they can get underneath and rip away at the testicles…….

  33. 10 woodbines says:

    those little fuckers always make me feel really tall. ” you are what you are ” in the deep south , or if they are just black , it’s ” you is what you is “

  34. Tonstant Weader says:

    Compact Cuntbutlers

  35. i-People

    Shetland Jockeys

    Woeful Weathermen
    (coz they’re always that last ones to know when it’s raining)

    Speedbump Hurdlers

    Concert Meerkats

    Homo Sapeens

  36. Maggot says:

    They should be taxed as Chocolate is chaper for them. A fun size Mars bar is cheaper than a standard Mars bar yet is proportionately a standard for the shortarses. Same applies yo standard Mars bar itat is a king size mards bar for them at a considerable saving.

  37. Ibanez says:

    Counter sniffers

  38. the hoff says:

    Low sized or vertically challenged maybe.

  39. ace says:

    The only reason why they are making a sink is for money.

    Where does it stop with the censorship? Pretty soon, saying just ANYTHING to anyone will be deemed as “offensive”. The people in this country have gotten so thin skinned it’s sickening.

  40. RockyRoader says:

    “people in this country”?
    Less of your generalisations, bud.
    You’re going to offend somebody.

  41. Bagginses

    Hobbitses

  42. rosie says:

    knuckle-draggers
    crack inspectors
    guinesses- for the black ones
    tripods- (male hung like a horse ones)

    jaysus everybody is just too damn sensitive and i find it offensive.

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