Cram it shorties, you are what you are

Posted on | July 6, 2009 | 46 Comments

Apparently a group called ‘The Little People of America’ wants the word ‘midget’ banned because they say it’s just as offensive as any kind of racial slur. Imagine how black midgets must feel?

What a load of bollocks but shit being the way it is we’d best be prepared for it to go through. I refuse to call them ‘little people’ so we have to think of some potential new names:

Arnolds.

Knee shiners.

Minimen.

Weenchywomen.

Hairless Ewoks. – my personal choice.

Any more? And before anyone says anything some of my best friends are midgets*

* This is a lie. Midgets creep me out like Dana in suspenders.

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Comments

46 Responses to “Cram it shorties, you are what you are”

  1. Toronto Icarus
    July 6th, 2009 @ 2:43 pm

    Oompa Loompas

    Lilliputians

    Little Runts….

  2. Holemaster
    July 6th, 2009 @ 2:50 pm

    Pint Holders

    Funsizers

    Semisians

    Halfricans (for the black ones)

  3. jonny friendly
    July 6th, 2009 @ 3:03 pm

    Rascals

    Stumps

    The Wee ones

    Circus Folk

    A juggling challange/mobile dumbbells

    “Funsizers” – that’s poetry!!!

  4. porridge
    July 6th, 2009 @ 3:03 pm

    micromen
    lowriders

  5. Limmypins
    July 6th, 2009 @ 3:04 pm

    Shortarses

    Creepy little cunts (CLC)

    Black midgets should be called Mini Fillets, after the KFC burgers obviously.

    Pocketsized

    Leprechauns?

    small portion- smortion

  6. jonny friendly
    July 6th, 2009 @ 3:06 pm

    nano nigels

  7. blondini
    July 6th, 2009 @ 3:09 pm

    Willie (Flap) Draggers

  8. boscospants
    July 6th, 2009 @ 3:10 pm

    blowjob specialists

    mini uses

    tom cruises new super race of sciencetologist

  9. porridge
    July 6th, 2009 @ 3:12 pm
  10. blondini
    July 6th, 2009 @ 3:15 pm

    Wrinkly kids

  11. blondini
    July 6th, 2009 @ 3:16 pm

    Lautrekkies

  12. Jackart
    July 6th, 2009 @ 3:17 pm

    I don’t know what they are called, but I want one to serve drinks at parties by balancing a small tray on his (it’s?) head

  13. Feynmans Ghost
    July 6th, 2009 @ 3:19 pm

    dana in suspenders …

    mmmm ..uuuuzzzziiiipppp

  14. Feynmans Ghost
    July 6th, 2009 @ 3:24 pm

    Try some of those out at the hobbit house in manila philippines

    http://www.hobbithousemanila.com/index2.html

  15. peadar
    July 6th, 2009 @ 3:32 pm

    You’re one sick fucking cunt.
    Who else would even put Dana & suspenders in the same sentence?

  16. peadar
    July 6th, 2009 @ 3:37 pm

    squirts

  17. eamob
    July 6th, 2009 @ 3:40 pm

    Galway’s most famous resident will hunt ye all down!

    http://www.facebook.com/pages/Seamus-the-Dwarf/66790101150?ref=ts

  18. itchybollix
    July 6th, 2009 @ 3:50 pm

    I was in my local the other evening and a midget walked in. I was thinking…is a midget or dwarf? Anyway. Everybody was greeting him like he was a superstar. All this pretend “guffawing” shite from all and sundry; then we all went home our seperate ways to our little existences and smoked a bowl on the balcony with our air stewerdess neighbour. Well. I did. It’s a small world. No pun intended.

  19. Lung the Younger
    July 6th, 2009 @ 3:55 pm

    Personally I feel highly offended that you would use a word that negatively associates fine, noble flying insects with those short-arsed little fuckers.

  20. Loco Lobo
    July 6th, 2009 @ 4:14 pm

    Once this law passes dwarfs, midgets and other assorted little pricks won’t have to look up to us lofty folks any more. Yep, the law will see to it that we’re all even. Now we’ll have to find new names for the great sports of midget wrestling and midget tossing.

  21. el cuno
    July 6th, 2009 @ 4:15 pm

    whileyouredowntheres

  22. JJ Celery
    July 6th, 2009 @ 5:04 pm

    Demo versions?…

  23. peadar
    July 6th, 2009 @ 5:16 pm

    space savers

  24. 10 PARK DRIVE
    July 6th, 2009 @ 5:25 pm

    You are evil, Twenty. I happen to be a little person myself and am deeply offended by your insensitivity. I have a good mind to fly over there and thump you in the kneecaps

  25. JJ Celery
    July 6th, 2009 @ 6:26 pm

    … with your head? :P

  26. Twenty Major
    July 6th, 2009 @ 6:33 pm

    heh

  27. johnjoeward
    July 6th, 2009 @ 6:42 pm

    my stepbrother is a dwarf,we always called him brian smallman coz thats his fucking name,ya couldnt make it up.

  28. Holemaster
    July 6th, 2009 @ 7:11 pm

    You could.

  29. noddy
    July 6th, 2009 @ 7:43 pm

    Works in progress

  30. bleedin fuckin hearts
    July 6th, 2009 @ 8:05 pm

    I`m a dwarf not a “little person” as my cousins in the states would have me, but all joking aside its not easy spending your life looking up to all you cunts and I bet yid be all patronising fuckers if you met me in work or at a party while internally weighing me up with “oh! what a big head he has” and “ooh! arent his legs really short”. Anyway I`ve been around forty years like this and I`m in the wrong place for any empathy from you cuntin goliaths

  31. Twenty Major
    July 6th, 2009 @ 9:03 pm

    I’d run away from you but I do like ‘cuntin goliaths’.

  32. DD
    July 6th, 2009 @ 9:09 pm

    Hatchbacks.

  33. idlebones
    July 6th, 2009 @ 9:40 pm

    Far away People

  34. Twenty Major
    July 6th, 2009 @ 9:42 pm

    haha, classic.

  35. Mosheen
    July 6th, 2009 @ 9:49 pm

    Dana in suspenders with a midget…

    mmmm ..uuuunnzzzziiiipppp

  36. bleedin fuckin hearts
    July 6th, 2009 @ 11:40 pm

    I had a doberman when i was a kid, went everywhere with me, but he was terrified of small aggresive dogs like terriors, an apparent natural fear for big dogs as they can get underneath and rip away at the testicles…….

  37. 10 woodbines
    July 7th, 2009 @ 6:24 am

    those little fuckers always make me feel really tall. ” you are what you are ” in the deep south , or if they are just black , it’s ” you is what you is “

  38. Tonstant Weader
    July 7th, 2009 @ 6:59 am

    Compact Cuntbutlers

  39. Lung the Younger
    July 7th, 2009 @ 7:09 am

    i-People

    Shetland Jockeys

    Woeful Weathermen
    (coz they’re always that last ones to know when it’s raining)

    Speedbump Hurdlers

    Concert Meerkats

    Homo Sapeens

  40. Maggot
    July 7th, 2009 @ 10:23 am

    They should be taxed as Chocolate is chaper for them. A fun size Mars bar is cheaper than a standard Mars bar yet is proportionately a standard for the shortarses. Same applies yo standard Mars bar itat is a king size mards bar for them at a considerable saving.

  41. Ibanez
    July 7th, 2009 @ 11:57 am

    Counter sniffers

  42. the hoff
    July 7th, 2009 @ 12:39 pm

    Low sized or vertically challenged maybe.

  43. ace
    July 10th, 2009 @ 7:03 am

    The only reason why they are making a sink is for money.

    Where does it stop with the censorship? Pretty soon, saying just ANYTHING to anyone will be deemed as “offensive”. The people in this country have gotten so thin skinned it’s sickening.

  44. RockyRoader
    July 10th, 2009 @ 8:40 am

    “people in this country”?
    Less of your generalisations, bud.
    You’re going to offend somebody.

  45. António Farinha
    July 13th, 2009 @ 12:47 am

    Bagginses

    Hobbitses

  46. rosie
    July 26th, 2009 @ 7:54 am

    knuckle-draggers
    crack inspectors
    guinesses- for the black ones
    tripods- (male hung like a horse ones)

    jaysus everybody is just too damn sensitive and i find it offensive.

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