All right then …
… seeing as people are bored and listless here’s something to pass the time.
Yesterday on the old Twitter I opined that if I could do away with one celebrity in this world it’d be Jamie Foxx. I hate him, I hate his face, I hate his voice, I hate his two Xs, I get cross just looking at him. He is, unquestionably, history’s greatest monster.
So, if you had a free one, who would it be?
And no, I can’t think of anything more cheery to write about. Well I can but celebrities being killed is a lot more interesting.
July 1st, 2009 at 3:46 pm
Does Twink count as a celebrity?
July 1st, 2009 at 3:51 pm
Dunno about celebrities, but I’ve just had a twenty minute threatening phone call from some Scottish cunt in the Inland Revenue promising to put me in jail over £200 I didn’t even know I fuckin owed them.
Every one of these hateful revenue bastards need ass-fucked to death.
Slowly…
July 1st, 2009 at 3:52 pm
..Hmm..I’m going to Aldi to
root through the binsdo a bit of shopping,i’ll have to think about it as just one from hundreds of possibilities is a tough call..Will report back later..
July 1st, 2009 at 3:55 pm
“Celebrity Big Brother” and all in it. That way I get to hand-pick and maximise my shot at this.
July 1st, 2009 at 3:56 pm
Dunno about celebrities, but I’ve just had a twenty minute threatening phone call from some Scottish cunt in the Inland Revenue promising to put me in jail over £200 I didn’t even know I fuckin owed them.
A worthy choice despite the lack of celebrity status
July 1st, 2009 at 4:07 pm
The whole Irish Government! I know not technically a celebrity, but they are known the world over and make everyone laugh, so theoritically they could be famous comedians! :)
July 1st, 2009 at 4:18 pm
Not 100% sure I can agree with you about Jamie Foxx there Twenty, he’s a smug git, no doubt, but he is in Any Given Sunday and that’s a deadly movie.
If I were to kill any celebrities it would have to be in the style of Schindler’s List, when the Germans clear out Krackow. You line up five of them and shoot one shot of your rifle and that’s that. Now, having tricked my way into killing five celebrities I would still look to kill Peaches Geldof five times.
Or maybe four Peaches’s and one Lady Gaga. Here’s hoping that minging blonde yoke is as disposable as all the crap she wears.
July 1st, 2009 at 4:19 pm
how about your one from grays anatomy, the almost see through skin on her face makes me want to puke, that and the overall stupidity of the whole fucking series, stupid stupid program.
July 1st, 2009 at 4:25 pm
I always swore I would deck angus mcanally if i ran into him! And i did, in dublin airport restaurant, I didnt have balls to deck him (he’s quite tall, you see) but did have some small chat with him about the mosney games!
Congraulations Justin Lee Colins, the first 100 bullets are yours!!
July 1st, 2009 at 4:28 pm
Kerry Katona.
Trouble is, that would give me a taste for offing cunt nuggets, so I’d have to go out in style and take Madonna out too.
And Puff Daddy/P Diddy/Sean Coombes or whatever name he’s picked out of a hat today.
July 1st, 2009 at 4:29 pm
Jade Goody
July 1st, 2009 at 4:31 pm
Oh yeah she’s gone all ready. Eh, her kids.
July 1st, 2009 at 4:36 pm
Maxi Cane – not a celeb, just a cunt for his heresy about the Luscious Kerry Katona and Madonna
Celeb – Bono or James “professional Ulsterman” Nesbitt. I’ll let Twenty decide between them for me.
Great Film on later – Sexy Beast – Ben Kingsley is amazing as the psycho.
July 1st, 2009 at 4:48 pm
At least Herr FOxx is an actor (I think). Surely it would have to be a celbrity who doesn’t actually do anything or have any talent. Since Ms goody has already left us, it has to be Jordan.
Not the country, or the river.
Not Michael, he of basketball fame.
Not my friend Mick Jordan in Spain.
Actual Jordan with the large fake boobs, large fake lips and the small intellect.
July 1st, 2009 at 4:54 pm
Surely it would have to be a celbrity who doesn’t actually do anything or have any talent.
Jordan has done porn in the past and will again in the future. That’s talent enough for me
July 1st, 2009 at 5:01 pm
el cuno is a misogynist – I’ve noticed that in the past.
John Milton was a bit of a misogynist as well.
July 1st, 2009 at 5:07 pm
And Bock, or so I’ve heard
July 1st, 2009 at 5:13 pm
Twenty’s chum Bock ?
July 1st, 2009 at 5:16 pm
Yeah, I think his full name is Bock the Nobber
July 1st, 2009 at 5:21 pm
Love child of Haughey and Gluestain, what can you expect ?
July 1st, 2009 at 5:24 pm
I take umbrage at that Maggot – I am an equal opportunity hater. If I throw in Peter whatshisface as well, would that make it ok?
Not sure porn counts as talent, does it?
July 1st, 2009 at 5:33 pm
Criticism of Kerry and Madge ? Beyond the pale.
July 1st, 2009 at 5:35 pm
John Barrowman.
‘Eyes and teeth darling, eyes and teeth.’
No. Just fuck off.
July 1st, 2009 at 5:40 pm
Diarmuid FUCKING Gavin
July 1st, 2009 at 5:47 pm
Not sure porn counts as talent, does it?
you’re stone mad
July 1st, 2009 at 5:49 pm
Definitely a weirdo peadar. The art form that dares not speak it’s name.
July 1st, 2009 at 6:03 pm
Im afraid that it just impossible to pick one,so i cut out 5 pics from a magazine and threw darts at them,whoever’s pic got the most hits was the winner..
..I’m lying,a chip fell off my plate and landed on the cover of heat magazine that was left there..
Jack Tweed.. in the head with a chainsaw.I mean how to be an even bigger waste of space than Jade Goody,even the fact that her vacuous presence would normally make anyone standing within 5 miles of her seem worthy of a Nobel prize in comparison..He still managed to be a complete cunt in the shadow of a master..
July 1st, 2009 at 6:28 pm
Eddie “Cork-Cunt” hobbs,i really cant stand the Cork whinging cunt,i’d fucking behead the wanker if i met him.Jesus,i have a nasty violent streak in me,everytime i here the cunt mention the “credit huuunion boy”,inbred four-eyed,horrible little cunt,he makes me want to self-harm.God,just let me within swinging distance of him,poxy moaning mucksavage.
July 1st, 2009 at 6:38 pm
Lily Allen.
you talentless, spolied, richkid, westbourne grove wannbe, fat ugly cunt
July 1st, 2009 at 6:42 pm
You can like porn or dislike it, all I’m saying is that there isn’t much talent involved in its making. Also, it’s a bit mysoginistic if you ask me(and I should know).
Anyway, Moose is right, Eddie Hobbs it is.
July 1st, 2009 at 6:45 pm
oops I mean misogynistic must start reading these things before I submit…
July 1st, 2009 at 6:46 pm
Lily is reasonably hot foolish Hubris! Think Titian and Rubens – they knew what a woman should look like!
July 1st, 2009 at 7:10 pm
Duke Special, no question.
July 1st, 2009 at 7:21 pm
Hubris Says:
July 1st, 2009 at 6:38 pm
Lily Allen.
you talentless, spolied, richkid, westbourne grove wannbe, fat ugly cunt
you got there before me. she is a horrible cunt
July 1st, 2009 at 7:35 pm
After last weekend’s rugby action, Ronan O’Gara.
But if he didn’t happen, then …
…
… George Hamilton.
Jesus, he’s a f*cking cabbage of the highest order. The fact that he’s a rich cabbage annoys me more.
July 1st, 2009 at 7:50 pm
I’d give Matthew McConaughey swine flu
July 1st, 2009 at 7:50 pm
All celebrity chefs … not the River Cottage fella though , i quite like him . All the rest should be done away with , in the style of SAW.
July 1st, 2009 at 7:54 pm
I’m in on Lily Allen.
not just for charging me obscene amounts of money to watch her smoke for 3/4 of an hour with her gut hanging out of her tracksuit, but for that FUCK YOU song that every Dutch fucker will just NOT.STOP.SINGING.
July 1st, 2009 at 8:31 pm
Twenty I think the question should have been who wouldn’t you give one to …
Most celebrities are the most utter utter cunts in the world
July 1st, 2009 at 8:50 pm
Janet jackson
July 1st, 2009 at 8:51 pm
Sorry,off subject but made me laugh
July 1st, 2009 at 8:52 pm
oops
http://www.motivationalz.com/pictures/kenya.htm
July 1st, 2009 at 9:03 pm
not the River Cottage fella though , i quite like him .
Him more than most – what sort of pretentious cunt has a double barrelled name like Fearnley-Whittingstal ?
July 1st, 2009 at 9:17 pm
Tom Cruise.
The short-arsed, cult-joining cunt.
July 1st, 2009 at 9:18 pm
Megan Fox. Does it bother anyone else that she claims to bisexual just because she comprehend another womans attractiveness? Fuck off Megan, wash the layer of grease of yourself and stop trying to be Angelina Jolie whilst maintaining that you are just being yourself when ‘yourself’ is just a sluttier (quite an accomplishment it must be said) vversion of Angelina Jolie.
July 1st, 2009 at 9:20 pm
Maggot:
I’m hurt that you’d want to put a hit out on me.
If you need to find me I’ll be four balling Kerry Katona with Madonna.
July 1st, 2009 at 9:23 pm
Bono
July 1st, 2009 at 10:00 pm
every cunt that ever appeared on rte,very, very slowly but id leave the fat lipped ugly faced fucker till last and do him over a long weekend.
July 1st, 2009 at 10:23 pm
Brian McFadden the fat talentless cock sucking shiteating fucknut
July 1st, 2009 at 10:25 pm
A wise choice of bullet could get you Elton John and Phil Collins in one.
July 1st, 2009 at 10:33 pm
Brian Lenihan, the stupid clueless fucking wankstain. And Biffo. Don’t they realise the people want leadership, not this fucking useless pile of steaming shite that calls themselves a government? And Mary Coughlan. Donegal cuntfuck.
July 1st, 2009 at 11:53 pm
Me mate Deco.
He’s alright really, but I’d still kill ‘im.
-Just fer de laugh like.
July 2nd, 2009 at 12:03 am
lets take another jackson out,
July 2nd, 2009 at 2:12 am
Is Jamie Foxx not cool? I thought he was, and I thought his Michael Jackson thing at those awards the other night was very cool.. Justin Lee whats-his-face, bearded cunt from Channel four would get my vote… That homo-chap Alan carr is a pain in the arse too, and The fat one whats her name…Jo Brand! These people need to realize that self-deprecation as comedy only works when the people wactching think you are in some way likeable…
(no pain in the arse jokes please)
July 2nd, 2009 at 5:39 am
That bender Senator Norris – but then who would maggot hang around with?
July 2nd, 2009 at 7:21 am
Easy – David Beckham
July 2nd, 2009 at 7:23 am
Jesus where to start – I suppose as good a point as any would be all the low-brow British comedians from the 70s and 80s. You know, the Blackpool brigade – Jimmy Tarbuck, Jim Davidson, Bernard Manning, Cannon and Ball, Tom O’ Connor, Little and Large, that Carson cunt…etc. Nothing special, dump ‘em in a large pit, bulldozer the earth over it, do humanity a favour. Simple enough.
July 2nd, 2009 at 8:37 am
Can we have 5 each?
P Diddy – pompous bullshit merchant
Gerry Ryan – vile slug
xzibit (from pimp my ride) – what a cunt
Beyonce – money grabbing whore
Tom Hanks – he’s shit
July 2nd, 2009 at 8:39 am
3:2 ratio Morgor
Congrats! you’re a Racist!! heh
July 2nd, 2009 at 8:52 am
Tom Cruise.
The short-arsed, cult-joining cunt.
Well said Elvis, he gets my vote.
July 2nd, 2009 at 8:55 am
I can’t help it if I hate black people.
July 2nd, 2009 at 10:13 am
*a bell tolls in the distance while tumbleweed rolls on by*
July 2nd, 2009 at 10:17 am
Woohoo!! we havent have a tumbleweeds comment in AGES!
July 2nd, 2009 at 10:35 am
Road to Perdition was a really good Tom Hanks film Morgor – I’m not usually a fan.
July 2nd, 2009 at 11:07 am
I just hate his face. I loved Saving Private Ryan despite him.
On the plus side, he was killed at the end.
July 2nd, 2009 at 12:10 pm
*Puts brand new, never watched Saving Private Ryan DVD in the bin*
Thanks Morgor.
July 2nd, 2009 at 1:44 pm
After watching “Public Enemies” yesterday, I’m going with Christian Bale.
*Hate*
July 2nd, 2009 at 4:14 pm
So much to choose from, so little time.
Bertie Aherne first and foremost, seeing as Charlie Haughey is already dead, although we could dig him up just to make sure, the slithery get!
Then Miriam O’Callaghan, she of the 200 children and a crop in the field.
Gerry Ryan goes without saying, Derek Mooney, the big girl’s blouse, is next, followed by Michael Jackson.
Wha, he’s dead?
My wish has been granted, the creepy freaky pervo is no more!
There is a God after all!!
July 2nd, 2009 at 9:38 pm
cork.
July 3rd, 2009 at 8:47 am
Jade Goody is gone now so would have to be Michael Owen if he joins the scum
July 3rd, 2009 at 9:03 am
LaToya Jackson.
You know its just Wacko with a bigger wig on roight?
Gotta be sure.
July 5th, 2009 at 10:38 pm
sue barker