We’re not alcoholics, we just like drinking
Posted on | June 29, 2009 | 41 Comments
I was listening that fucking cunt on Newstalk earlier, you know the one, the sanctimonius, up his own arse, smug, chuckling Munster cunt, and they were talking about how, apparently, there are 250,000 alcoholics in Ireland.
According to him the whole country was in a state of denial. The whole country. Of course he has surveyed them all, because he has super-awesome, know-it-all powers.
Of these 250,000 only 20% are in treatment which begs the question how they know how many others there are out there.
Then some professor dude came on and spoke about how alcoholism wasn’t just alcoholism any more, you had to include alcohol dependency. Which is a ‘syndrome’. Now, I’m not one of those people who thinks alcoholism is a disease. It’s a terrible thing for those that suffer from it but it’s not a disease. A syndrome sounds a bit better but it’s still a bit wanky.
But if we go round saying that around 6% of the entire population of the country are alcoholics then all kinds of madness will ensue. We won’t know which 6% of people are drunkards. Is it your doctor? Your taxi driver? Your best friend? Your best friend’s girlfriend (who used to be mine)?
People will grow suspicious and view each other through narrowed eyes and that’s not a good look. We’re not a beautiful enough people to pull it off. I reckon they’re just trying to scare people to sign up for AA and such.
Stinking Pete thought he had a drinking problem and decided to go to AA. He did the first two of the 12 steps then told them to go fuck themselves when he was required to hand his life over to God. Why replace one crutch with another, he thought.
And has nobody considered that 12 steps are a bit too fucking complicated? All this give yourself over to a higher power shite. And the added time it takes to complete 12 steps when all you really need are two.
The Brand New 20m 2 step program for AA:
1 – Stop drinking
2 – Don’t start drinking ever again (but if you do just have the odd one and don’t get to the point where you’re skulling two bottles of Tesco value vodka before lunchtime. Should you reach that point please see step 1).
Fucking simple.
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41 Responses to “We’re not alcoholics, we just like drinking”
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June 29th, 2009 @ 3:47 pm
I just noticed at the weekend that Tesco have their own brand vodka. Cool. Have any of you alcos tasted it?
June 29th, 2009 @ 3:52 pm
AA is a cult and like all cults they want their puppets to have no self confidence or ability to stand up for them selves. IE. your a shit and there is nothing you can do for your self unless you let GOD/CHURCH/HITLER/ HIGHER POWER etc. take over for you.
If someone wants to stop drinking cause they have made their life and those a around them a sucking black hole of darkness and pain the only way for them to do it is to Stop because they want to and the only person responsible for those actions is the indivdual self.
CULTS are great for taking all the glory for the actions and accomplishments of others, and really really good at putting the mill stone of blame and shame of ones failures around your proverbial neck.
June 29th, 2009 @ 4:01 pm
its horrible even for vodka which doesnt really taste of anything. lidl vodka is much better and stronger. tesco scotch and buckfast is a good combination though. i havnt tried tesco beer or cider yet. but they do stock this stuff called beer dor. 20 little bottles for €10. its not to bad if your really stuck and cant afford anything else
June 29th, 2009 @ 4:07 pm
I’m thinking of becoming an alcoholic.
June 29th, 2009 @ 4:10 pm
Yeah, right !
June 29th, 2009 @ 4:14 pm
No, really. I’m going to go public with my battle with the booze, check myself into rehab, then write a self-help book to which will make the real alcies give up and make me a fortune.
KER-CHING!
June 29th, 2009 @ 4:16 pm
i did that for a while. alcoholism is a great career. only downside is memory loss,low sexdrive, the shakes and runny shits. on the upside the reduced appetite that comes with constant drinking is a good method of loosing weight. just dont drink high calory beer all the time. switch to spirits and wine from time to time
June 29th, 2009 @ 4:19 pm
It’s hard to see the negatives all right
June 29th, 2009 @ 4:22 pm
Well, its hot and I’m finished work, anyone fancy a hair of the dog!
the coat of a pack!! (does that work)
June 29th, 2009 @ 4:23 pm
I’d eat anything after beer. I mustn’t be drinking enough
June 29th, 2009 @ 4:26 pm
You gotta share your stories on http://www.fuckmyliver.com
June 29th, 2009 @ 4:28 pm
I’m an actor and we drink like fish LOL there have been many mornings on film shoots where breakfast starts off with whiskey
June 29th, 2009 @ 5:04 pm
Cone on HD – most of you actor cunts are amateurs, only drink when you are thirsty.
Your best friend’s girlfriend (who used to be mine)?
Cause and effect Twenty. Losing you would be a hard burden to carry sober.
98% of people with a drink problem have access to a washing machine.
June 29th, 2009 @ 5:33 pm
Most actors are gay and most actresses are whores.
June 29th, 2009 @ 5:36 pm
Not a nice way to talk about your Parents 10PD.
June 29th, 2009 @ 5:49 pm
I was an alcoholic when I was seven.
June 29th, 2009 @ 6:10 pm
It all starts at the breast, You get hooked on drinking at such a vulnerable time. It’s called Imprinting. That’s why bottle necks and traditional beer pumps suggest nipples.
June 29th, 2009 @ 6:36 pm
“its hard to see the negatives…” What about walkin around with a sauteed liver!
Whats LOL mean?
I love gargle even with my sauteed liver, I could drink gallons of red wine, lifes too..EVERYTHING..when your completely sober
June 29th, 2009 @ 8:04 pm
“I was listening that fucking cunt on Newstalk earlier” -
Eamon fucking Keane. I gave up on Newstalk when Dunphy left. Two lame -ducks in the morning; one replaced by a bookie. That sanctimonious, scaldy, scut on at lunchtime; I banned him too – I think Quetin Fotrell has given up on tuning in. George fucking Hook makes me puke.
Anyhow.
Booze.
Yes. We are a nation of boozers. As are the British. And the French. And the Italians. And the Poles. And the Russians. etc, etc
That fuck on newstalk…I’d like to hear him yabber while I’m flushing his head down the jax.
June 29th, 2009 @ 8:10 pm
Maggot At least I knew who mine were.
June 29th, 2009 @ 8:12 pm
Come to think of it yours’ must have been two flies ?
June 29th, 2009 @ 8:51 pm
So anyone know what the fuck LOL stands for???? I see it around a bit and its fuckin annoying, although its probably something really daft
June 29th, 2009 @ 9:00 pm
Sittin hear listenin to mick oldfeilds tubuler bells which I used to think was brilliant when I was a youngfella and smoked too much, what a load of toss( exorcist intro exempted if you wish)Yeh I know the cunt played all the instruments himself, so 70`s self-indulgent, coked-out-of-it, cods waffle. Now a nice bottle of wine inside ye or whatever your tipple is…i`ve just knocked the cunt off
June 29th, 2009 @ 9:06 pm
lol = laugh out loud.
they’re warning signs are a bit ridiculous.
http://www.squidoo.com/AlcoholismWarningSigns
Here’s one : Do you get headaches or have hangovers after drinking?
What the fuck?
Have you ever felt you should cut down on your drinking?
sure, but i’ve also felt i should cut down on spending, eating, video games, reading, watching tv, farting and wanking, but i don’t think that they indicate that i should join a fucking club for each.
June 29th, 2009 @ 9:31 pm
Thanks for the definition M and it is daft. LOL, LOL, the madness of it all, WERE MAD WE ARE… its kinda cuntin too in a southside ruggerbugger, hoo, hoo arent we so funny way,… or even a its a nice night, lets go lynchin, but yer right of course about the club joining thing but Im sure theres one for all the above mentioned.
P.s I dont mean to say that all those who enjoy a game of rugby and live on dublins southside would engage in the kind of culling activities that used to happen in america`s southern states although when I was a FFer…well thats another story
June 29th, 2009 @ 10:03 pm
Conceited cunts.
They know better than us do they.
They are members of quangos.
If you want to keep the dosh for yer budget keep the fear and anxiety going.
June 29th, 2009 @ 10:13 pm
“sure, but i’ve also felt i should cut down on spending, eating, video games, reading, watching tv, farting and wanking, but i don’t think that they indicate that i should join a fucking club for each.”
I would pay good money to attend the AA version of Stop Wanking.
‘Good evening every one, I am Morgor*, and I am…..a wanker.’
‘Clap clapity clap, whoo hoo! Welcome brother.’
Who fills out these wretched surveys anyway?
* is aware Morgor is no such thing.
June 29th, 2009 @ 11:02 pm
Listening to Van Morrison doing Comfortably Numb from the Film “The Departed” – what a great film! Jack Nicholson – what a guy!
June 29th, 2009 @ 11:13 pm
Wankers Anonymous – The Zen Koan answered
What is the sound of one hand clapping?
June 30th, 2009 @ 7:52 am
I wouldn’t fancy hosting the wankers anonymous conference meeting rooms. or the hotel.
June 30th, 2009 @ 8:15 am
Define drinking too much. I go to the pub everynight after work and have 3 pints while chewing the fat with my like minded mates. I then go home and have half to three quarters of a bottle of wine with my dinner. I have done that for nearly 35 years. Its what I do. The doctor says I drink too much. Bollocks. HE may think I do, the Government might have told him to think I do, but I don’t. I will also have 6 pints over the whole day on a Saturday and Sunday. As you say in the title, I like drinking.
Don’t class me as an alcoholic you cunty cunt cunts.
June 30th, 2009 @ 8:16 am
Irish definition of an alcoholic:
Anyone who drinks more than I do.
June 30th, 2009 @ 8:25 am
Define drinking too much.
Exactly. A bottle of wine with your dinner is an essential, not a fuckin way of destroying your body.
Pints with your mates are another absolute must, if only to make them bearable. Sitting drinking coke while they down quality pints is the worst way of spending an evening ever. Makes you realise how loud and unfunny they really are.
Who comes up with these safe drinking limits anyway?
June 30th, 2009 @ 8:39 am
Who comes up with these safe drinking limits anyway?
The Knights. Or maybe Opus Dei.
June 30th, 2009 @ 8:41 am
Who comes up with these safe drinking limits anyway?
A shower of cunts come up with the limits, i would imagine,over an all expenses paid dinner in a Michelin Star resturant washed down with some of the finest wines know to humanity..
The main course is normally “Poor person on a spit” ..
June 30th, 2009 @ 8:52 am
Plus the cunt is a control freak I bet.
June 30th, 2009 @ 9:13 am
Who comes up with these safe drinking limits anyway?
Big Pharma. Kerching!
June 30th, 2009 @ 9:13 am
The Knights. Or maybe Opus Dei.
Got to some bloody presbyterian involvement in there as well, sure we can’t have people enjoying themselves.
June 30th, 2009 @ 9:30 am
The ironic thing is if I could go down the pub and drink myself into oblivion without being nagged by a GP and smoke inside the pub whilst doing it, the Government could shag me up the arse for all I would care.
Whatever shit they threw at us would always be tolerated in the old days, once you got into the pub and had a good old moan. They’ve really fucked up on this one.
July 2nd, 2009 @ 7:18 pm
don’t knock the tesco vodka before lunchtime
December 1st, 2009 @ 5:07 pm
Ah yea, well I had 2 nice bottles of beer last night, looking out a cozy pub window with easy music in the background, if thats fucked up well then so be it, fucked up it is then. News talk is a lefty pink arse station with that sad guy what ever his name is eamon keane with a small e ( his not worth the big one ) and karen (really a man ) colman
be good..