It’s always a bit surreal when someone really famous dies. Where you were when you heard the news seems to stay with you.
Like being up at 5am watching Sky News hearing that Michael Hutchence had strangle-y wanked himself to death. Or Michael Jackson last night. It doesn’t take long for the jokes to start, does it?
It’s funny how celebrity deaths = immediate jokes but if Joey Joe-Joe Jones from down the road dies nobody cracks wise for even a second.
Poor old Michael Jackson. His last wish was to be melted down and made into Lego, so kids could play with him for a change.
See?
I’ll always remember the death of the most famous boy in our neighbourhood when we were growing up – Colm Maher. He was famous because the story went that he got caught fucking his dog and that when he got caught the dog bit a chunk out of his scrotum.
He was a big tough fucker though so when he was around it was unwise to make reference to his canine copulation or his mutant sac. He was likely to bash you about the head.
Dirty Dave once referred to a girl he’d shifted round the back of the John Player factory as a ‘dog’ but he was referring to her less than attractive features. Maher chased him around Rialto for half a day before Dave found a hiding place.
Anyway, the dog fucker thing never went away. He died before we’d even left school, shot to death outside a boarding kennels up in Rathfarnham, the owner saying he thought it was a fox or a badger.
You don’t often see 6′ 2 badgers carrying a tub of vaseline with them, but there you go.
Hat tip to the Cap’n…..
“Apparently the Paler Than Usual Tour is going ahead. Don’t expect any Moonwalking”
there are still a few of colm’s offspring knocking around crumlin.
Jackson didnt have a Heart attack either,he had a stroke in the childrens ward…
“Clear!………Fuck, he’s melted.”
ha, i remember a guy in my school died when we were about 15-16 and he was buried with the hurley he stole off a friend of mine.
It would have been funny to hold up the service and just lean over and snatch the hurley back.
anyway, back to michael jackson,
bad news – MJ died
good news – they found Maddy
whats the difference between michael jackson and disney films?
disney films can still touch children,
Funny how Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson died on the same day. One played with Majors and the other played with minors…
Apparently Jacko’s heart condition came from his protestant father’s side of the family… it was known as the ‘Billy Gene’
Musicians are getting together to do a tribute for Jacko. It will be a re-recording of ‘I’m Forever Blowing Bubbles’
Is it just me, or is the predictability of receiving a slew of text jokes as soon as a celeb dies getting a bit dull?
Is it just me, or is the predictability of receiving a slew of text jokes as soon as a celeb dies getting a bit dull?
That’s exactly what i was thinking.
Thankfully I don’t get texts like that …
Not if they’re funny
No, you send them
So’s your face.
My face is what? Sending texts?
You know…
a good oul pointless slaggin match…
Slagging matches are never pointless. Especially one with “Yore ma!” or “So’s yer face!” in it.
O.K.
So here we go
I Apologise in advance if you are a MJ fan
1 What do Michael Jackson
and Goats have in common?
They both fuck Kids
2 What did Michael say after his nose fell off?
it’s just another part of me
And my favourite
How do you know when its bedtime at Michael’s house?
When the big hand touches the small hand
Wait until Elvis gets hold of Michael in Heaven
He will beat the shit out of him for shagging Lisa Marie
And who is going to look after Bubbles?
What do Michael Jackson
and Neil Armstrong have in common?
Neil Armstrong walked on the moon.
Michael Jackson fucks kids.
Dave: You’re a pointless slaggin match…
So’s yer ma
So’s yer ma’s face…
Lego are melting down Michael’s skin right now so children can play with him for a change…
Not the other way around
There is no retort to So’s Your Face.
And I thought I was one of the only ones using it to win pointless arguments and leave my opponents baffled and flummoxed….
Probably the wisest career move Jackson ever made..
Come on now lads, lets do the typical Irish thing. We probably spurned him for being a child-fiddling weirdo when he was alive but now that he’s dead:
Aah sure he wasn’t the worst, God love him.
He may not have been perfect, but then who is?
Ye can’t deny he was talented and had his admirers.
Come on now, and you lot call yourselves Celtic hypocrites?
Knock Knock
Who’s There?
Michael Jackson
Michael Jackson who?
Michael Jackson who paid off a child because he did not molest him
From the paramedics: It was a thriller ride to the hospital and we kept saying: just beat it (beat it, beat it). But he wouldn’t be startin nothing
Off topic but “Nigaz” – Nigeria + Gazprom.
That firm is gonna be pretty damn fly.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/business/8118721.stm
On the Molestation charges… Those beautiful people over at SKY News managed to get an interview with that most wonderful man Uri Geller at 1am, and he let us in on a little secret. One time whilst he was hypnotizing Jacko he asked him if the kiddy-fiddling stuff was true, and he immediately denied it. And If Uri Geller says it, it must be true.
(he fixed my watch, though its only right twice a day)
Just because it’s a spoon doesn’t mean you’re not a bender.
Of all the shite Michael Jackson jokes I’ve heard today, I like Sniffle’s Neil Armstrong one best. The nigaz thing is cool too.
my next door neighbour called joey joe jones did unfortunately pass away last night but you wont get many funny text messages about him,thats coz he was an absolute fucking cunt that no one ever liked. fuck you joey joe jones,rot in hell.
Big heavy woman – Harney ?
http://www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/breaking/2009/0626/breaking56.htm
I must be the last person to hear Michael Jackson is dead, wasn’t he supposed to be frozen in a Cryogenic Nursing Home until a cure was found for whatever he’d die from or did I dream that.
Im no puddin bender but…..was just watchin bbc world service and the interviewer asked some fuckin twat pundit if jackson would be rememered for the molestation charges, the cunt proceeded to compare jackson to oscar wilde who was “scandolous” in his day but would be rememered for “his poetry”, so taking that to its logical conclusion will Paedophilia be legal and socially exceptable in 100 odd years… fuckin idiots should have a licence to open their mouths
Apparently Jackson’s address book has been put up for auction on E-Bay. Lots of interest but so far the highest bidder is Gary Glitter!
Any takers for the doctor doing it in the pantry with a sharp object?
Wrote some really good songs it has to be said… Youre gonna ban me so wha the fuck.
Still love you all…
What say you Mr major….. We bury the hatchet and move on???
yes. life’s too short.
“it all matters” – can’t remember who that was….fuck it. i’m just in and I’m off.
sweet dreams. bury it please. hugh leonard spent his last year trying to make up his regrets.
“ain’t no shame in holding onto grief, as long you make room for other things too” – bubbles
i’ve to work tomorrrow. crap.
Difference between MJ and Fergie? Fergie will still be playing Giggs in August.
sorry. one other thing with regard to the King of Pop. The parents who allowed their children to stay overnight in his house are to balme.
i’m expecting shit on this but it’s true. they knew how weird it was and how they should never have allowed it. moneyball.
hi mb. deerhoof this month. go see.
goodnight.
I think most of you seemed to miss that the major point of this post was about dog fucking not mj’s demise.
So is it wrong ?
What if the dog likes it ?
Bark at the moon !!
And while ye snigger at MJ jokes you doff your caps to the Priests….
Get with the 21sr Century Gluestain – doffing of caps belongs in the early 20th century when most Irish men still wore caps.
For Sale
Abandoned Chimp
Very Friendly
Likes being wanked off with a white glove
Respond’s to the name “Bubbles”
Michael hasen’t being this stiff since Macauley Culkin last visited Neverland
“Casper the friendly ghost has just been raped”
Heh he
Oh, Twenty.
Where was I on Friday? Oh yes, reading texts all day.
Pure genius mate. Well played.