Did you know that if you hold a glass plate under the nose of an otter he’ll instantly have a stroke?
Did you know that the entire population of Brookmere, Canada, is descended from an Irishman called Alfie McNee who fled the country in 1871 after the murder of a prominent Dublin socialite?
Did you know that over a billion years of footage is uploaded to YouTube every second?
Did you know that if the Great Famine©® had never happened that the island of Ireland would be so densely populated there’d be no more room to build any houses, thus saving us from a property crash because demand would always be high?
Did you know that as well as doing the shake and vac simply opening the windows and allowing some air to blow through the room will put the freshness back?
Did you know that actor Colm Meaney was responsible for the break up of That Petrol Emotion?
Did you know that 93% of all blogs are made up of one post or less while 7% should be?
Did you know that the difference between an African elephant and an Indian elephant is that the Indian elephant is unable to send email?
Did you know that the condom was invented by a Norwegian man called John E Sploojhølder?
Did you know that if you read all the books in all the world that the DaVinci Code would still be the worst?
Did you know that there is a secret underground lair beneath the Four Courts from where a secret guild of Jews, High Court judges and RTE newsreaders run the country?
Did you know that a finger of fudge has been scientifically proven to be not quite enough to give your kids a treat?
You didn’t?
Now you do.
I knew 7% of those factoids.
Colm Meaney eh? What a wanker..
Did you know that ham sandwiches were invented in ancient Egypt? Its true, the pharoes had such disdain for their jewish slaves that thay made tham eat ham sandwiches on their breaks from building the pyrimids. Some historians even go so far as to suggest that this was the reason Moses got all uppity
My son held a buttercup underneath his chin last evening and asked if his skin had gone yellow, which would mean he liked butter.
Did you know that buttercups are actually made from I can’t believe it’s not butter?
That Colm Meaney didn’t do a proper job…..
http://www.thatpetrolemotion.com/
*Did you know that if you read all the books in all the world that the DaVinci Code would still be the worst?*
Says the author of The Order of the Phoenix Park.
*Did you know that if you read all the books in all the world that the DaVinci Code would still be the worst?*
Says the author of The Order of the Phoenix Park.
Zzzzing!! hehe
Change your name back to Brian, you stupid cunt.
Not you, fill, obviously.
Did you know that I’m going out for some fresh sea air now.
Sorry I’m not sure what you’re talking about. Who is this Brian you speak of?
Fuck off, Brian.
You have me all wrong. I don’t know any Brians, I’m just a simple peasant woman. Seriously, though… when’s the new book out? I’m thinking of buying it as a present….
….for Hitler (hahahahahahaha!)
Rerease Brain!
Did you know that 98 percent of all bicycles stolen every year in Ireland are Recycled?
YOU SOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF TWENTY YOU STUPID CUNT. wHAT A DISGRACEFUL pOST. NO WONDER THE COUNTRY IS THE WAY IT IS. THINK OF ALL THE KIDS THAT ARE GOING TO RAPED AS A RESULT OF THIS POST. WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO CREATE?
You can always spot a conscientious typer, when they are typing in “Crazy” Capitals, and there is a small letter at the start of each sentence.
Genuinely though Twenty, on a serious not for a sec. Credit where it’s due, The Order of the Phoenix Park was an excellent, well-written book and I thoroughly enjoyed every page of it.
My only worry now is that you won’t be able to top yourself…
…
..
.
…There’s twelve foot of rope in the boot of my car, if that’s any use – ya talentless hack!
(hahahahahhhahahahaha…)
heh, I spotted that when I was finished. It’s actually quite difficult to type in all capitals
Have you got the noose and all on the rope Brian?
What’s the problem? Have you not got the nerve to go thru with it?
Yeah, how refreshing to be tutored on comedy from someone who stole his jokes from Syl Fox.
I won’t have that Twenty,he is definitly more from the Stan Boardman school…
Oddly enough someone using the handle Brian Boru admitted on the Irish Times to being a Libertas voter.
You’re very welcome Twenny! Can’t say that I’ve ever heard of Sly Fox in my entire life. (If he made the same joke as me – it’s possible – show me some evidence to back up that claim.)
But for the record, it’s a real treat to be lectured on plagiarism by someone who:
http://tinyurl.com/l3l8dx
What are you going to call the next one, A Stitch in Time Saves Nine?
If you can find me suggesting that the phrase was in any way original or my own work please point it out.
In the meantime though you could try something constructive, like sticking your hand in a blender, you witless cunt.
You brought it up, Twenty. I was only looking for a pleasant chat. Maybe we got off on the wrong foot. What say we put the past behind us and be friends?
Do ya mean it? DO YA REALLY?! We could pals?!!!
Yes, Twenty. That’s what’s on the table. Now contain your excitement. We wouldn’t be best friends to begin with. But who knows, maybe some day? That’s the thing about me and you Twenty. We’re alike. Maybe that’s why we’ve never gotten along. So what say we a go?
Friends?
With privileges?
Not in the way you mean, but I might teach you how to spell privileges… Seriously though, let’s call a ceasefire here and now. What say you?
I say you’ve been a very annoying person in the past and if you want to stop being annoying then fine.
Semoer eadem. Quidquid id est, timeo Danaos et dona ferentes.
HAHAHAHAHHA…. Would you go away out of that gee-face, I hope a bird shits on your head you muppet!
Brian is NUMBER ONE!!!!!
Legend, if i say so myself… In my weaker moments, I almost feel sorry for ya Twenty.
Good luck with the book, i’m sure it’s atrocious. See ya next time I’m bored and have a few hours to kill!
:)
As predictable as a Ronaldo dive. Cunt off.
Hahahahahhaa…. Word of advice Twenty. Next time, don’t just call me a ‘witless cunt’. Try to actually best me in a contest of wits.
You’ll lose, Little Man, but at least give it a go!
Hard to do if you’re actually witless, Brian.
Jesus, I betcha I dont seem like such an utter prick now! Sorry again about last night…fuckin hell
Might be worth a name change all the same. FFer isn’t going to win you too many friends…
Well in the context of lastnight….think of me as a fatfarmer or a frankenheimer fudger if its more digestable…come to think of it…the possibilities are endless
FFer’s not short for FlufFer, no?
It’s a little insane in here tonight. Brian seems to be displaying symptoms of some sort of disorder.
That Petrol Emotion and Colm Meaney, eh? Was he their one known natural enemy in the wild?
No, that was The four of us.
Or fergal sharkey
Ganleywatch :
http://www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/frontpage/2009/0612/1224248690587.html
No, that was The four of us.
I thought it was Aslan meself..
My point was that in future, rather than simply calling me witless, you should try to actually best me in a contest of wits.
Your reply was:
*Hard to do if you’re actually witless, Brian.*
Who you talking about there, Twenty, me or you? Cos if I’m witless, then it really shouldn’t be hard to do.
Either way, in the pantheon of lame comebacks, that at about the same level on the food chain as “I know you are but what am I?”
Incidentally, I’m aware that seeing their idol having his hole kicked up and down the street by a troll can’t be easy for your disciples.
Don’t worry children, there’ll be councilling when all this is over.
Brian
20 can be entertaining
You appear to be a tedious simpleton
Did you know that the middle classes are made up of,down trodden scum that got lucky, and upstart snobs that got unlucky.
My aunt Millie-Sallie-Rosie wears Shake and Vac for deodorant she swears by it, and she’s no fool, she picked the winner of the Grand National two years on the trot back in the seventies
Did you know that the middle classes are made up of,down trodden scum that got lucky, and upstart snobs that got unlucky.
My aunt Millie-Sallie-Rosie wears Shake and Vac for deodorant she swears by it, and she’s no fool, she picked the winner of the Grand National two years on the trot back in the seventies.
Did you know that a finger of fudge has been scientifically proven to be not quite enough to give your kids a treat?
Was that part of the Ryan Commission Report too?
Sorry, I’m going to Hell for that.
Did you know: Queen Victoria had a secret double life in a freak show due to her ability to cling to the ceiling by the vacuum of her own buttocks
I love brian. oh no wait. i don’t.
Here’s a genuine* amusing fact though :
Barack Obama is a fan of conan the barbarian fiction.
*wikipedia genuine
Heres wan for yee
Did you know its possible to lead a cow up stairs but not down stairs …
very serious
Did you know that at some point in their school careers, John McCain, Barack Obama, Joe Biden, and Sarah Palin have all performed in a production of the musical “Oklahoma!”
:)
Did you know that the British Shorthair is the only type of cat that can be taught how to play the harmonica.
Here’s a genuine* amusing fact though :
Barack Obama is a fan of conan the barbarian fiction.
Well that would explain this Morgor:
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/obama_disappointed_cabinet_failed
As someone mentioned “The Order Of The Phoenix Park” above, did you know what you started with that book? See this.
http://archive.gulfnews.com/articles/07/04/14/10118221.html
hehe Lung the younger, thanks for the link.
“How am I supposed to effectively lead this nation when [attorney general nominee Eric] Holder has to stop the meeting and ask what the story of Taurus using the black lotus powder to kill the five guard lions has to do with increasing broadband Internet connections nationwide?” Obama said while vigorously rubbing his temples.
Added the president, “For the love of Crom, am I the only one here who wants to keep the U.S. technologically competitive?”
Hands up, I give up. Brian pisses higher than Massa Twenty.
Did you know that winning the basic pissing competition as a boy has far reaching consequences and did you know that those who can only manage a trickle make better lovers, obviously the source of these titbits was the back of the bicycle shed.
Quote: “Did you know that if you hold a glass plate under the nose of an otter he’ll instantly have a stroke?”
HEY!
Liar, liar, pants on fire!
I tried it with an otter. I’m not sure if he had a stroke or not but he was acting funny
I TRIED IT
Did you know that giving a chocolate orange a good ole whack with a hurl is far more effective than “tap and unwrap”?
And that it wasn’t because the lady loves Milk Tray – it was because he was an egotist coward without the guts to ask her out?
“Colm Meaney was responsible for the break up of That Petrol Emotion?” Quite simply the weirdest thing I’ve read for a decade or two.