Monthly Archives: May 2009
Rhyming blogs
So you get a blog, right, and change one of its title words to make it different. Such as: Hairyduck – not bald, not a duck Emerald Style – Noreen as the Trinny and Susannah of blogopolis GeeListed – candids, … Continue reading
Omelette of ming
After Ron’s closed on Saturday we were drunk enough to accept an invitation to Dirty Dave’s house to continue the drinking. As Ron’s had stayed open very late the chipper was closed by the time we left and we were … Continue reading
It’s not really very important…
…but I’ve always hated the word ‘semester’. It’s just always struck me as terribly orotund.
Running for election
“You know”, said Dirty Dave, “I got an email the other day asking me if I’d join Libertas”. “Is that right?” “Sure is. And I’m thinking of doing it”. “Really? Never had you down as a political animal”, I said. … Continue reading
“You know”, said Dirty Dave, “I got an email the other day asking me if I’d join Libertas”.
“Is that right?”
“Sure is. And I’m thinking of doing it”.
“Really? Never had you down as a political animal”, I said.
“Yeah, but now’s the time, isn’t it?”
“Is it?”
“Sure it is. The whole of Europe is in a state of chassis, so it is, and unless the ordinary man gets involved then there’s no hope for us”.
“And you are a very ordinary man. No doubt about it”.
“I mean, they’re obviously pretty desperate for people to run as candidates if they’re just mass emailing a load of people. I feel sorry for them so I’m going to help out”.
“And what’s your stance on the various issues?”
“Such as?”
“Abortion”.
“Everyone should be able to have one. And for free. Except catholics. They’ll have to pay €9.99″.
“Lisbon?”
“I’ll vote yes but campaign no, just to keep that baldy fella happy”.
“Europe in general?”
“I’m very much for it”.
“Should there be an EU President?”
“That’s a good question and one that can only be answered by taking into account all the various factors that would allow one to make such a decision in an informed and clinical way. Basically, what I’m saying is that an EU President would be something which Libertas, and when I say Libertas I mean ‘me’, could certainly see happening but it would all have to be done within a very strict framework and ultimately the decision of the people of Europe”.
“Impressive”.
“Thank you”.
“What about a European army and Ireland’s neutrality?”
“Let’s face it, neutrality is for pussies. I mean who wants to be like the Swiss or the French? And with unemployment rising what better way to tackle the problem than have an army for people to join?”
“Taxes controlled from Europe?”
“They could put Jean-Claude Mongbert or Fritz Spastikz in charge and they wouldn’t make as much of a bollix of it as that cunt Lenihan”.
“I have to say you’re a very convincing candidate”.
“I feel like I’ve finally found my calling Twenty”.
“Of course you’ll have to tell them you’re a right wing, ultra-liberal, neo-capitalist, radical crypto-fascist”.
“Oh they already know, Twenty. They already know”.