Monthly Archives: May 2009
Noises
A noise you hear then can’t stop hearing is possibly the most annoying thing in all the land. My computer has started making a strange sound. It’s driving me up the fucking walls. I’ve been on to tech support but … Continue reading
Garda reserves
A whole new batch of Garda reserves qualify today. There’ll be a big ceremony in Templemore where the ruddy-faced rezzies get their baton and cap. I wonder though – is it official Garda policy to provide trousers that don’t fit? … Continue reading
The old boys network
What sentence would you or I get if we were twice the legal limit and we crashed into another car killing a 16 year old boy? I suspect it would be more severe than 7 month suspended sentence, which is … Continue reading
Gah
If there’s anything worse than clicking publish when you’re not ready to click publish I don’t know what it is. Oh wait, there are loads of things worse than that. But still. 83,000 Rohypnol tablets stolen last night. Undoubtedly the … Continue reading
10 people who would be better Late Late presenters than Ryan Tubridy
So Ryan Tubridy, relation of David McSavage let’s never forget, has been confirmed as the new host of the Late, Late Show, Ireland’s longest running TV chat show. He’ll bring his own unique style …*cough* … to Friday nights but … Continue reading
Pat “The Cope” Gallagher is a trendsetter
Fantastic, the former Minister of State is running for the European elections in the North West. Not that I care a jot about the North West or Fianna Fail but Pat brings a whole new naming convention to Irish politics. … Continue reading
Stuff that doesn’t work
I have been plagued in recent weeks by stuff that doesn’t work the way it should. From lightfittings that no longer allow a lightbulb to inserted to my water tank to my computer and my car a whole load of … Continue reading
Lottery scanner scammer
You know those machines which read your lottery ticket and then say ‘Not a winner’ every single time? I’m not sure I trust them. Wouldn’t it be the easiest thing ever for the Lotto people to fix them so that … Continue reading
Speeches
I’m not a great fan of speeches. Not making them and not listening to them. “As X person said …”, gah. If I was interested in what that person said I’d look them in an encyclopedia or something. And nobody … Continue reading
I’m not a great fan of speeches. Not making them and not listening to them.
“As X person said …”, gah. If I was interested in what that person said I’d look them in an encyclopedia or something.
And nobody ever uses the word ‘flange’ in speeches. It would make such a difference.
“Ladies and gentlemen, I’m so happy to accept this flange tonight”.
“And we now remember fondly our dear friend who passed away this year.
*moment’s silence*
Flange”.
I promise that if I ever have to make another speech, no matter what the occasion, I shall use the word flange at least once.
In the meantime I’m going to take a handful of painkillers as the pints in Ron’s were suprisingly free last night and therefore much more plentiful.
Flange.