How do you go pro?

See the young amateur golfer who won the Irish Open yesterday?

He must feel awesome. On top of the world. Like a star. Yet the bloke who finished second picked up the €500,000 first prize because amateurs can’t win the money.

Why, when he was hunched over the putt to win the tournament, couldn’t he have just announced that he was turning professional and then pocketed the cash?

€500,000 for winning and he got nothing. The lad has been ripped off and let’s face it, he deserves it. To win a professional golf tournament in terrible weather is fantastic. To do it whilst being stalked around the golf course by Brian Cowen is nothing short of remarkable.

That blubbery fool would put anyone of their stroke … golfingly speaking of course.

Meanwhile, the news that Fianna Fail have failed to delcare donations to the tune of €110,000 is hardly a shock.  Interesting that the company who made the donations is being sued by NIB for non-repayment of loans though.

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32 Responses to How do you go pro?

  1. Woesinger says:

    That blubbery fool would put anyone of their stroke … golfingly speaking of course.

    Not just golflingly, Twenty. Cowen is the Meltly Man made flesh.

  2. Woesinger says:

    Fuck – that should be Melty Man. Just the thought of Cowen temporarily rendered me dyslexic.

  3. Jo says:

    Meltly workds too.

    That five hundered grand thing is a bitch. They give it to the next guy?? Shit.

  4. Twenty Major says:

    Yeah, as much as winning the tournament would be fantastic I’d be gutted over the money.

    I suppose he’ll go pro now and make a fortune but still.

  5. Feynmans Ghost says:

    has your machine stoped wheezing

  6. Fill3rup says:

    has your machine stoped wheezing

    you’ve been losing sleep over that havent you?

  7. Feynmans Ghost says:

    I have indeed sir ..I have indeed

    That fucking noise would make me want to stab a needle in your eye

  8. maggot says:

    Tut – they don’t do it for the money Twenty! It’s the love of the game.

    Besides – all golfers are cunts!

  9. Fill3rup says:

    I would imagine the colourful and Shiny pants shop will do well today.. it’ll be like their Christmas..

  10. Twenty Major says:

    has your machine stoped wheezing

    Haven’t had a chance to open it up yet. Too much to do. Will attempt it today.

  11. DD says:

    Sounds like a great idea to me as I always come second.

  12. Apparently he’s only 22! He looks like he’s about 40.

    Thats what offaly does to you I suppose.

  13. …golfingly speaking…?

    Golfingly, Browfert and Dr. No.
    All super-virrans in James Bond firums, no?

  14. Holemaster says:

    He’ll make that €500K soon enough. If the other guy has any decency, he’ll through a few quid at him. But then, he is a golfer after all.

  15. Peadar says:

    Great achievement. Maybe he made a few quid by backing himself. He was over 1000-1.

    Why isn’t today a bank holiday?

  16. Fill3rup says:

    Why would it be Bank Holiday on the 18th May?

  17. Peadar says:

    because I don’t feel like working

  18. Fill3rup says:

    Fair enough.. You can go home if you like,tell Bosscunt that i said it was alright..

  19. Peadar says:

    really? Ah cheers, your the bestest

  20. My heart fucking breaks for him.

    Fucking golfers. He’s hardly back to the deli counter at spar today now is he.

  21. Magoo says:

    They should apply this in other areas.
    “Yes, technically you won the Lotto, but you’re a scanger from Limerick so you have to give all the money to Magoo who came second.”

  22. Holemaster says:

    Offaly is getting too much attention. They are fucking savages down there. Neither of their ‘big’ towns are on primary national routes. They get grunty and pointy when they see a ‘D’ registration.

  23. Big fucker for a 22 year old too.

    Must be shit at rugby.

  24. Holemaster says:

    Too big for the Gaah.

  25. Twenty Major says:

    He’s a big lad all right.

    Give him a drink and prescription drugs problem and he could be the Irish John Daly.

  26. We’re a race of John Dalys.

  27. Jo says:

    Who’s John Daly?

  28. I now love John Daly, solely for having a wife called ‘Bettye’.

  29. Twenty Major says:

    What is that E for?

    Superfluous letters in names bother me greatly.

  30. I dunno Twentye, I just dunno.

  31. Jo says:

    Ha, that’s a massive Wikki page. I love the headings – Gambling/Drugs/Health/Marriages.

    That’s what you want in a pro golfer. A bit of colour.

    Twentye Majorre.

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