Noises

A noise you hear then can’t stop hearing is possibly the most annoying thing in all the land.

My computer has started making a strange sound. It’s driving me up the fucking walls. I’ve been on to tech support but so far the various things me and my Indian chum have tried have done nothing to solve the problem.

I could, I suppose, smash it to bits and buy a new one but that strikes me as a rather extreme measure. As it’s still under warranty it can go back and they can fix it but I hate sending things off to be repaired.

Firstly, you’re without the thing, and I like my things, and secondly it always seems to take so fucking long.

I know this harks back to my post from the other day but it’d be really fucking nice if stuff just worked the way it was supposed to.

Similar posts

  • No Related Post

63 Responses to Noises

  1. Fill3rup says:

    Did you get it in Pc World?

  2. Holemaster says:

    I had a girlfriend like that once. She was out of warranty.

  3. Puerile Pish says:

    It’s a Mac what do you expect?

  4. Twenty Major says:

    Did you get it in Pc World?

    heh, no.

    Cram it, Pish, you Scotch cunt

  5. Fill3rup says:

    Ah! a mac,just send it back to Tomy and they’ll replace the stickle bricks in it! heh

  6. Puerile Pish says:

    Macs are designed to emulate their pretentious owners by making stupid noises which grate upon ones nerves.

  7. Holemaster says:

    I’ve bored a hole in my mac so I can fuck it.

  8. mickey says:

    I smashed my laptop recently in a drunken rage, really pissed off with myself lost so much cool software movies music and tv but it means i’ll have to invest in one with better spec

  9. maggot says:

    Twenty in a dirty Mac – heh !

  10. Twenty Major says:

    Don’t get too excited maggot

  11. maggot says:

    At my age I’m grateful for any excitement I can get Twenty!

  12. JJ Celery says:

    I had a girlfriend like that once. She was out of warranty.

    Girlfriends and laptops seem to be all the same, then. They make noise when you fuck them.

    Stop fucking your laptop Twenty.

  13. Grimy Miner says:

    I am now curious as to what SORT of a noise a Mac makes when it’s fucked?

  14. Puerile Pish says:

    It will depend on whether he practised safe sex or not

  15. Fill3rup says:

    My laptop makes the Windows log in theme tune when i shoot my load (through the firewire port)

  16. Puerile Pish says:

    Too much information, although I used to have fun in the old pcmcia slot, how I miss older PC architecture

  17. Fill3rup says:

    ..floppy disc… hehe

  18. Holemaster says:

    My mac moans like a vietnamese wh…. eh never mind.

  19. JJ Celery says:

    ..hard disc…hehe

  20. Feynmans Ghost says:

    Twenty … things stop working sometime coz there not properly maintained.

    Ok some questions
    1. How old is your PC
    2. When this noise start
    3. Is this a constant noise or does it come and go
    4. If its just comes and goes how long does it last for
    5. Where is your pc located. Is it on a table or on the floor
    6. When you put your ear up to the case can you detect where its coming from (the noise)
    7. Have you done anything recently to the PC
    8. Have you taken the casing off the pc to determine the location of the noise
    9. Can you try to describe the noise … I know its difficult but is it a click click type of thing or is it a eeeee type o fthing
    10. Answers these and well have a better idea of
    what remediation you can do

  21. Feynmans Ghost says:

    And last time you complained about your old record player not working and we tried to help and you took no fucking advice …

  22. Holemaster says:

    Hey, we’re doing sex and laptop innuendos here.

  23. 10 PARK DRIVE says:

    Get some ear muffs. No muff too tough.

  24. Feynmans Ghost says:

    and noises are all about moving parts so its either a fan or a hard disk issue or something very complex indeed like a resonance problem

  25. Fill3rup says:

    Feynman:For Fucks sake,will you stop trying to drag this thread out of the muck!

    Heh..muck..

  26. Feynmans Ghost says:

    Hold on lads … give us a minute
    Fuckit im all for shite talk as well but the ould cunt needs some tech advice … I preety much know what wrong so give him 10 mins then Ill tell him what i think is wrong

  27. Twenty Major says:

    Sounds to me like the CD drive spinning every couple of seconds. Or a fan.

    Sorry, fanny.

  28. morgor says:

    Sounds to me like the CD drive spinning every couple of seconds. Or a fan.

    Is there a CD in it?

  29. morgor says:

    Sorry, i meant cock.

  30. Puerile Pish says:

    Right get it’s case off sharpish, and start poking about inside. Hey FG you have insulted him, he’s a Mac using poofter and still hasn’t realised that Macs have changed to PC architecture yet still charge a fucking fortune for the priviledge of having a poncey look.

  31. Feynmans Ghost says:

    Hmmmm fuckit I though it would be a chirp chirp type of sound …

    Hers one thing you can do to eliminate the hard disk being a source of noise.
    Typically if your hard disk is very fragmented the disk read write head has to jump around a lot and makes this fucking painful noise constantly ..

    The solution is to defragment your hard disk.
    Do this first then it will eliminate the HD being part of the problem.
    type “defragment hard disk” in google to find out how to do this

    If this actually stops the noise then you need to make me more than a senior member over in the forum .. that will fucking piss off all the cunts over there :)

  32. Twenty Major says:

    No CD or cock in it.

  33. Feynmans Ghost says:

    heres another tip if it indeed is the fan.
    Turn off the machine ..open teh case and give the mother board a good hovering especially around teh fan area …

    Tunr on teh machine without the case and see if there still a noise … if the fan is running fine then it could be due to some “power saving” mfeature you have enabled that intermittently powers down teh fan …
    disable all that power saving shite immediately
    using the power control tab

  34. Puerile Pish says:

    Hey Fill are you 5 1/4 or 3 1/2 inch floppy. Me I have moved to permananet solid state (storage)

  35. Feynmans Ghost says:

    Is it a mac twenty ..no bother I used to be a programmer with apple down in cork …

    I recong its being software generated by some power saving control feature ..that could intermittently be interacting with teh fan and the HD …make sure all that shite is off

  36. Puerile Pish says:

    And I bet he does a fair bit of hoovering at his yacht club without practising on his Mac.

  37. Twenty Major says:

    The fan and the HD. Don’t I need that shit?

  38. morgor says:

    with his pink blazer and bright boatshoes.

    The big fat american poser.

  39. Twenty Major says:

    Look Pish, you can keep mentioning the yacht, I know you’re just angling for an invitation. It’s not gonna happen.

  40. Feynmans Ghost says:

    ah jeaysus twenty … the power control .. they something have the software power down the HD or tunr off the fan to save power …you knwo sleep mode…

    Make sure all that software power control is disabled …
    dont fucking touch the fan or HD …

    Heres another tip …make sure that the air being sucked into the case is not blocked
    or even better get an external fan and point it to the air ingress slot

    what make and model is the mac and what os is it running

  41. Feynmans Ghost says:

    I hope to fuck throat-ripper or bastard havent
    (a) Taken a piss next to teh box
    (b) trying to fuck the mac ..macs are pretty sexy

    get down on all fours and try and sniff for
    (a) Cat or dog urine … smells a bit like old peoples farts
    (b) Cat or dog semen … smells a bit like 2 week old denny sausages

  42. Feynmans Ghost says:

    bastard = bastardface

  43. Twenty Major says:

    It’s a Mac Pro running 10.5.7

  44. Holemaster says:

    It could be dry jizz causing a short skirt, I mean circuit.

  45. Fill3rup says:

    It’s a Mac Pro running 10.5.7

    well fucking Lah-di-dah!!

  46. Fill3rup says:

    I reckon his fanny is blocked

  47. Feynmans Ghost says:

    Right twenty
    (a) Make sure there is no obstruction for the fan to suck in air at the back

    (b) Open the case up (If it breaks some warrenty sticker ..dont fucking open it up) and from there have a listen

    post a mp3 of the noise …And I dont wanna here bastardface raping throatripper in teh background …

    ahhh sure go on .. its ok to include that as well

  48. Magoo says:

    I had the same prob and defragmenting solved it.

  49. Twenty Major says:

    http://twentymajor.net/noise.mp3

    That’s the noise, FG. You can hear it most clearly at the very start and towards the end.

  50. Feynmans Ghost says:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XtaeM1T4ZRg

    ahh tis very easy to take the cover off …
    Heres what you dhould do
    Shut down teh box ..take cover off then take HD and cd drives out and re-insert them…
    then with cover still off power up teh box and listen carefully to see where the noise is coming from

    Update us : ones you have carried out these tasks

  51. Holemaster says:

    It could be a virus after downloading a noise onto your laptop.

  52. Feynmans Ghost says:

    Good man twenty ..after listening to that sounds like some piece of software is accessing your cd drive even though there no cd in it.

    Next Action : Disconnect your CD drive (open teh case and take it out) as per the youtube video and make sure the noise has gone

    If this stops the noise then at least we have pinpointed the problem

    Yes I know you want your cd drive but lets first make sure he is the culprite then work from there

  53. Magoo says:

    That sounds like an aul fella with emphysema(or is that you in the background?)
    I couldn’t relax listening to it, I was so sure you were going to do one of these:
    http://www.tekzoned.com/twophotos/

  54. Twenty Major says:

    I presume that’s one of those scary ones, Magoo. They put the heart crossways in me.

    FG – will have to wait until tomorrow to do that. Will keep you updated.

  55. Feynmans Ghost says:

    goodman twenty … I think this isnt a big issue but by fuck I too would go round the bend if I had to listen to that fucking wheezing

  56. Twenty Major says:

    Yes, it’s driving me somewhat mental.

  57. A.Mackintosh says:

    Hi Twenty, lots of mac users are experiencing problems after the 10.5.7 update on wednesday, I had trouble to. If you grab macTuneup and run permissions reset it should be ok.

  58. jonjoward says:

    fuck it twenty, just throw it your green bin[to fuck those cunts up],and buy a new one. i even know a doley cunt[not me coz i have a job] who fucks out EVERYTHING thats fucked up because everything is so fucking cheap now, especially with DEflation.fuck the greens.

  59. SAm Crea says:

    The hoovering lark worked 100% for me before when it started making a really annoying sound. hoover around the fans especially.

  60. Feynmans Ghost says:

    Do ya have an update for us twenty ?

  61. Twenty Major says:

    No, will do the taking apart thing tomorrow.

  62. Zohar Lee says:

    Twenty – couple of things it could be, if the graphics is an 8600gt it could be overheating which would cause the fans to rev up constantly – or as suggested above the laptop just needs a good cleaning

    see article below for the nvidia debacle, the first fix put in place for this was to run the fans at near full all the time

    http://arstechnica.com/apple/news/2008/10/apple-nvidia-chips-to-blame-for-macbook-pro-video-problems.ars

  63. Twenty Major says:

    Cheers – it’s an ATI Radeon HD 2600 and that’s the problem. I have to replace it at some stage.

    Can’t have fans running at full tilt, that’s even noisier.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

You can add images to your comment by clicking here.