A whole new batch of Garda reserves qualify today. There’ll be a big ceremony in Templemore where the ruddy-faced rezzies get their baton and cap.
I wonder though – is it official Garda policy to provide trousers that don’t fit? This morning I saw a lone Garda marching down the Crumlin Road, his pants stopping just above his ankle. And he’s not alone. Look and you will see Garda ankles on display all over town. It’s like all the pants came from the 1980s.
As well as that, isn’t there some kind of fitness test to be a Garda? A few weeks back I saw two lady Gardas, Gardettes I think they’re called these days, and both of them were essentially barrel shaped, with enormous arses.
Now, people come in all shapes and sizes, I’ve got no problem with that, but how exactly are these two supposed to prevent crime?
“Stop or I’ll waddle after you for a few yards, before stopping, resting my hands on my knees and gasping for breath!”
No chance. I’d say the crime rate on their beat is enormous. Even paralysed people could move fast enough to get away from them.
And they had ill-fitting pants on too. I mean, if you’re going to be crap at least look good. Still, it’s good to know that when it comes to crime prevention and protection of the ordinary citizen we’re in such good hands.
‘both of them were essentially barrel shaped, with enorous arses.’
The Gerry’s Hole that’s called since they spend every morning in Gerry’s greasy spoon just off Harcourt Street tuckin into atomic fry ups and lard buttered toast! You can always tell new recruits from Veteraned Gerry’s.
Its been my experience that the trousers are too big, particularly on the “gardettes”, were only the blueshirts, if properly tucked in that is, conceals (thank heavens) the huge builders arse and G-string. Lot of fat fucks in the guards though, lot of fat fucks in Ireland come to think of it these days. Must be all the crisps
Ladies in uniform – pictures of Gardettes would be appreciated!
heh, i called into a garda station to get my vote sorted and the woman behind the counter had hilarious pants that came up to her tits.
Although I have seen one or two exceptionally hot bean-gardai.
why do we need special gardai to look after beans? are they magic ?
BIG FAT RHINO BULLYS… W
did you heard the story about the garda who got 15000€ for “post traumatic stress” after running after a naked woman and bleeding from a scratch : RIDICULOUS ! (see bottom today’s metro Page 14-15)
could use the two fatties as mobile battering rams or roadblocks. rolled down hill they could be used to break up (literally) riots. or they could provide temporary holding facilities by sitting on criminals. right size for target practice, considering garda shooting skills. the possibilities are endless
as far as uniforms go, can’t beat the germans or the empire. might have lost to the english/rebel alliance, but looked cool as fuck doing it
It’s a fact that cops will wear their initial uniforms until the day that they retire, regardless of how it looks or how they look in it. Uniform allowances are for beer and beer’s accrutements, food. That is why the first, and only, uniform must be baggy. Cops are expected to grow into them with time, and they do. And if they hang over the belt, so what, it’s comic effect for he neighborhood! It’s also known that as people age, they shrink and cops shrink just enough that the pants cover their shoes and the uniform finally fits as they stand tall to recieve their pat on the back and their kick in the ass out the door.
maggot, now we know what you’re into! :)
But i have to say, that the Gardettes down in south part of the county present themselves well. There is one that made me think (for just a nanosecond, but did) about joining the forces.
I’d like to look this cool in a uniform.
Probably I never will.
But still nice idea.
morgor Says:
May 14th, 2009 at 2:33 pm
heh, i called into a garda station to get my vote sorted and the woman behind the counter had hilarious pants that came up to her tits.
No no no her tits came down to her pants a small but vital difference.
If they look good in the uniform does that make them Avant Gards?
the ones that fill the uniforms would be rear gards then
jj You xould always try on the uniform and have a few pics taken for your friends on this site ? As an aside – Finnish policewomen are wonderfully attractive.
“I’d say the crime rate on their beat is enormous…”
It sounds like everything on their beat is enormous!
They could at least try to look the part. Nothing says incompetence and corruption like a fat,slovenly cop.
Which reminds me. When the new Transformers film come out watch for the scene where a Decepticon squishes a number of my former colleagues and wrecks my old Hangar.
There’s a very hot blonde girlie garda who patrols on a mountain near where I work. And there’s an army truck driver from Rathmines barracks who should be on the cover of Vogue. I got a wink off her one morning. I had to have a sit down after that.
did you misspell “wink”?
I wish.
I should also point out that I meant to type ‘mountain bike’. (There’s no mountains on Camden st).
I was thinking that sounded unusual…
Patrolling a mountain sounds deadly though.
Is her name Hamish Macbeth?
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