So Ryan Tubridy, relation of David McSavage let’s never forget, has been confirmed as the new host of the Late, Late Show, Ireland’s longest running TV chat show.
He’ll bring his own unique style …*cough* … to Friday nights but is he really the best man for the job? After extensive research here are 10 choices who would have been better for the Late Late.
10 – Woman who used to go around town with anti-abortion sign – Staying power, good with people, passionate about current affairs, would be a popular choice with the 89 remaining Catholics in the country.
9 – Didier Drogba – displayed obvious TV presence following Chelsea’s hilarious Champions League exit. Untapped potential.
8 – Peter Andre – now at a loose end following the end of his marriage to enormous knockered slapper Jordan
7 – Pete Doherty – yes, he’s just as thin, spotty and ugly as Tubridy but at least he didn’t go to Blackrock College
6 – Helen Keller – just because
5 – Steve Staunton – former Republic of Ireland manager has the sharp wit, intellect and erudition the role requires. Could be the Irish Jon Stewart. Or John Noakes. Or Rod Stewart.
4 – Bosco – a far less annoying voice than Tubbers
3 – George W Bush – Ok, so he’s only funny when he’s trying not to be, but that’s far preferable to some cunt who’s never funny, especially when he tries
2 – Jade Goody’s corpse – at least it would decay in a matter of weeks, not the years that lie ahead
1 – Damien Rice – yes, that’s how much of an insufferable cunt Tubridy is
Yikes.
Thankfully Gerry Ryan didn’t make the cut; or that list for that matter.
Him?
Oh for fuck sake.
Another reason not to go home.
He’s utter shite no doubt, yet therefore better equipped for light entertainment smalltalk with British celebs about their autobiography.
Heh heh, good one.
What about the guy, we all know one, with long black greasy hair who stands and shouts at cars as they pass by ?
You must be so excited at the end of Jordan’s marriage Twenty – when do you make your move ?
Grandad for example.
She’s a little too refined for me, Maggot.
heh @ 10
Twenty’s more of a Jodi Marsh man, maggot.
I just can’t watch Ryan Tubridy. Physically, every fibre of my being screams at me to turn off if he’s on.
There’s the cringiness, the RTEness, but mostly I think it’s my insect phobia. I’m terrified lest I be hypnotised by those big glassy whirling eyes and then eaten with praying mantis mandibles.
Twenty’s more of a Jodi Marsh man, maggot.
More of a flapper man than a slapper man then ?
There was this Roma Gypsy that used to beg outside Tower years ago,we called him 3 Tits (from Total Recall) because the first time we saw him,he held out the hand out,when we said fuck off he then opened his jacket to reveal a tumor the size of a large boob,hanging off his stomach..
He’d be a better Late Late Presenter than that sniffin cunt..
I’d rather McSavage than Ryan Rubbery.
I’d rather McSavage than Ryan Rubbery.
Oooh.. thats bad..
Check this from the Indo:
“Tubridy who will celebrate his 36th birthday on May 28th., began his broadcasting career when he was 12 years of age reviewing books on the Radio 2 show Poporama.”
They’ve been grooming him for a long long time.
anyone notice that if you rearrange the letters in his name you get………………………………………………………………………………………overpaiduglymotherfuckingretardcunt?
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RTE? the culture of laziness is bedded to fuck.
Also better:
Michael McDowell (for charisma),
the most racist, smelly fruit seller on Moore street (whoever she may be),
sweetcorn (after being eaten),
tripe (raw)
Mary Harney (just because)
Pub owners the length of the country must be delighted. If he doesn’t drive people out into the welcoming arms of the licensed trade, no one will.
I have just listened to the insufferable weasel faced gowl on Newstalk for nearly the entire journey to work. I am sort of relieved that the bug eyed child squirter never got the job but my fucking cat has more charisma than Tubridy.
why do we have a late late show anymore? can we not just put the angelus on a loop?
So, we’ve had smug prick Gaybo, Cuprinol Pat and now this daft cunt.
They don’t want you to watch it. Don’t watch it.
Even if you’re staing in on a Friday, and watching telly, anything is better than the parade of cunts on the promotion trail telling their ‘story’. Just pretend that there is no RTE1.
Tubridy nickname as an anagram of his predecessors.
lanky po bag
knob pal gay
blank yap go
bank log yap
Meena Bean Uí Chroibín might’ve been good.
Or Rossa from the Morbegs
he’s the perfect choice for RTE, the man is Pat Kenny light. what kenny lacked in humour tuberdy makes up for in complete lack of personaility. do you think he’ll come out every night and do that wee dance thing with the clicking of his fingers and kick of his shoe? straight cock. i’d rather have Ray Foley and JP
I’d rather have AIDS
i’d rather have Ray Foley and JP
Fuckin hell Rapey,steady on there!!
i’d rather have Ray Foley and JP
It’s just a bit of fun for your friday night.
I don’t think so
An obvious and disappointing choice. But if you worked for RTE twenty what were the real alternatives? Gerry Ryan? – too gay, Miriam O Callaghan? – too female, and from the legions of RTE celebs with faces for Radio I can think of no-one. Can you?
another reason why i dont miss ireland,
may as well go hog wild and bring back mike murphy
1. Dave Fanning – never shuts the fuck up showing the interviewee how much he knows about them
2. Gerry Ryan – the most suitable of the available crud, in my opinion
3. George Lee – Blueshirt cunt
4. Miriam O Callaghan – Annoying voice – cant do sincerity.
5. Ray Darcy – OK nice bloke i’m sure, but definitely not for the job.
6. Tom Dunne – dont think he could handle welcoming our guest ronan keating etc. without taking the piss
7. Eamon Dunphy – dont think he could handle welcoming our guest ronan keating etc. without taking a piss
8. Daragh O Brien – too fat and Bald to be looking at. wouldnt be able to interview daniel without making him cry.
9. Twenty Major – “yes Mr Major, you seem to have deleted ALL of the available irish celebrities from our list of people you might like to have on your show..”
10. the Ghosts of Oliver Reed and Peter Cook. – Problem solved.
Opus Dei must delighted to have one of their own in such an influential position.
What about me? People love me. I’d do it for nothing.
(p.s. Expect some patchy cloud later)
Sorry Martin,but you are a cunt of the highest order.. although i secretly do chuckle at your nonsensicle attempted comedy monologues on the clips show you do from your fake house.. its like watching a very slow nervous breakdown…
Wibble.
I remember being very confused when I first saw Martin King doing the weather.
Sort of embarrassing and unsettling at the same time.
I am having a breakdown, I’ve started seeing things with squirrels and wrestlers…
Maybe you should have a lie down..
What about Mary O’Rourke? Sure she’s ugly and lacks intelligence, but she would “work like a black”?
Alternatively, they could put on repeats of david letterman or some other US interviewer as Tubs justs rips them off – even their fucking sets
I remember Martin King reading the weather one time. He had an ironing board under his arm. It was a sunny day and he was pretended to be going surfing with his little ironing board.
What a guy.
Who wants to get book reviews from a 12 year-old?
How insufferable.
Haha, good point.
Where’s Dustin the Turkey when you need him. Free batta burgers for everyone in the audience. The Plank is gone, long live the Plank.
Come on ya good thing. Etc.
I don’t see Baby Bear on that list :|
Ryan Ts on half the salary Pat Kenny was getting so thats about a half million saved, chuck in the Turkey (who seems to have been eaten anyway) and thats another fiver in RTEs bank.
Money talks – what the presenter says comes second!
Eddie Hobbs – i vote he does the fill in for Tubs when hes on his holliers.
Or Bryan Dobson – he would make us all appreciate the incessantly annoyingly chirpy Turbridy.
Or Derek Mooney who brings chirpy to a whole eye gouging level – we’d all be screaming for Turbid then…
So, is there any such thing as an RTE presenter that doesn’t annoy the hell out of us?
That is a very cromulent point
In a country that continuously reelects a shower of feckless wasters, it’s not surprising that an unsufferable, weak-chined cunt like Ryan Tubridy gets paid enormous amounts to be on mass media. Gobshite.
We’re only human, of course they all annoy the daylights out of us in some semi endearing way. Except possibly Kathryn Thomas……
I’ll never watch the late late show again – Miriam O Callaghan should have got the job………
Nice article, i’m glad you’re enjoying it. I mean, her, awesome thoughts
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