Monthly Archives: April 2009
Cocksucking dolphin motherfuckers
Oh, you laughed. You sneered. You ridiculed and cast slurs and aspersions. You looked down your bottle-noses at me. Well, fuck you and your Greenpeace loving ways. “Dolphins are so cool. Dolphins are intelligent, you know. Dolphins are so friendly … Continue reading
So near so spa
“You know what, Dave?”, I said as he waffled on, at length, about why he would rather have a hairy arse than a fat arse. “What?”, he replied. “You’re a fuckin’ spa”. “What?” “I said, ‘You’re a fuckin’ spa’”. “A … Continue reading
Bleurgh
*bring bring* “Hello?” “Hello, Twenty. It’s me, Dave!” “Whaddya want?” “I discovered something amazing today”. “What’s that?” “You know yer woman Susan Boyle who sings like an angel but looks Chewbacca?” “Yes, she’s an internet phenomenon. Everyone knows her”. “Well, … Continue reading
Cycling to work
As a younger man I used to cycle from my humble abode on, or around, the South Circular Road, to my then place of work – the depressing monstrosity of a business park in Fairview. Rain, hail or shine I … Continue reading
Sartorial elegance
Surely the best thing about being a football manager is the endless supply of monogrammed sportswear. There’d be just no chance of someone making off with your gear. Unless you had someone at the club with the same initials as … Continue reading
Pirate Bay owners found guilty
So the guys who run the Pirate Bay have been found guilty of copyright infringement. So, if they’re guilty despite not hosting any kind of copyrighted material on their computer doesn’t that mean that others should be culpable too? What … Continue reading
My top 3 favourite most favourite beers (at the moment)
Due to the CEC (Current Economic Climate) I have been doing more of my drinking at home. Bastardface likes this as it gives him more company. Even Throatripper has taken time off dismebowelling cattle to spend time at home. I … Continue reading
You what?
Have you see the new Budweiser billboards? ‘The coldest beer ever – now in a revolutionary new aluminium bottle’ (more or less). Aluminium? So it’s a bottle shaped can then, not a bottle.
How to revive the economy – part 1
So Roy Collins was shot dead in Limerick by a bunch of scumbags. The Gardai know who these scumbags are, so here’s what they do. 1 – Round them up 2 – Poison them to death 3 – Flay them … Continue reading
You won’t get it in O’Briens
The recession is hitting hard. Over a pint in Ron’s at lunchtime Dirty Dave offered to eat my pubes between two slices of stale, unbuttered white bread if I would pay him €200. Naturally I refused. I need my pubes … Continue reading
The recession is hitting hard.
Over a pint in Ron’s at lunchtime Dirty Dave offered to eat my pubes between two slices of stale, unbuttered white bread if I would pay him €200.
Naturally I refused. I need my pubes for a wide variety of reasons.
But it’s sad to see a man, a man so proud, so full of dignity, be reduced to eating pube sandwiches to get by.
Are you happy now Fianna Fail? Are you?