It’s here, it’s here!

Posted on | April 30, 2009 | 37 Comments

Swine Flu hits Ireland.

So I guess that’s it. They say we have vaccines but knowing this government there’s probably a load of boxes with ‘Flu vaccine’ written on them but they’re empty and the money we should have spent on the medicine was loaned to a FF friendly property developer.

Our vaccine is now three empty housing estates in Portlaoise.

Can the last blogger alive turn out the lights? Thanks.

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Comments

37 Responses to “It’s here, it’s here!”

  1. 10 PARK DRIVE
    April 30th, 2009 @ 4:53 pm

    “It’s just the fuckin’ flu. What’s all the fuss?”
    (c 1918)

  2. Conor O'Neill
    April 30th, 2009 @ 5:00 pm

    Finally a use for those iodine tablets they sent us a few years back. Those, some germolene, a dash of TCP and we’ll be grand.

  3. Fill3rup
    April 30th, 2009 @ 5:03 pm

    It is just a flu..
    The only reason people in Meh-ico are dying is because they have a third world health system..oh!

  4. Fintan
    April 30th, 2009 @ 5:07 pm

    Fill3rup said:

    “The only reason people in Meh-ico are dying is because they have a third world health system..oh!”

    In other words, we here in this sunless banana republic are fucked.

  5. Fill3rup
    April 30th, 2009 @ 5:11 pm

    Well,if by fucked you mean,a couple of days in bed watching tv…

    only 8 people have died in Mexico and there have only been a few dozen actual cases..
    The press are saying that 176 people have died and its just bollox..
    They are blowing the shit out of it,its a distraction..watch pakistan and afghanistan..soomthing is going to happen there..

  6. 10 PARK DRIVE
    April 30th, 2009 @ 5:14 pm

    Something is going to happen everywhere.

  7. Fill3rup
    April 30th, 2009 @ 5:26 pm

    it Sure is..

  8. maggot
    April 30th, 2009 @ 5:41 pm

    Swine Flu ?
    Does that mean it targets politicians ?
    Great news!

  9. Gerard Cunningham
    April 30th, 2009 @ 5:41 pm

    Miss with friends and enemies. Develop an irritating cough, practice your thousand yard stare. Cough on a canvasser today.

  10. maggot
    April 30th, 2009 @ 5:45 pm

    At least in the UK they are running a clever Advert with preventive advice LOL

    Earlier, the government’s chief medical adviser warned Britain will see “many, many more cases” of swine flu, although he said most people would recover.

    I’ve been stockpiling Lemsips and Beechams- this is my chance to be rich!

  11. Magoo
    April 30th, 2009 @ 6:58 pm

    “knowing this government there’s probably a load of boxes with ‘Flu vaccine’ written on them”

    Fat chance of them even being organised enough to have that…you’re giving them way too much credit

  12. JJ Celery
    April 30th, 2009 @ 7:24 pm

    swine-flu-pooh1.jpg

  13. maggot
    April 30th, 2009 @ 7:29 pm

    Superb!

  14. Capt Con O'Sullivan
    April 30th, 2009 @ 7:38 pm

    Odds on the Israelis attacking Iran in next few days?

    Great time to pull another Gaza-style stunt.

    And don’t bother Pish. By the way, God is a cunt. And so is her rentboy of a son. Will that do?

  15. Only Me
    April 30th, 2009 @ 7:51 pm

    In Australia they are advising people to stockpile food and water in LA swine flu is less sever than thought and Joe Binden (that rock of common sense – not) say to stay off planes and trains. If these lot can’t sing from the same hymn sheet we are fucked!

  16. jonjoward
    April 30th, 2009 @ 7:54 pm

    ive invented a vaccine for the swine type flu,just need a few politicion volunteers [must be ff]to try the cunt out on.

  17. Capt Con O'Sullivan
    April 30th, 2009 @ 8:03 pm

    On health grounds I advise everyone to take up chainsmoking. No one comes near us these days as its so unhealthy.

    Be great if all the pussies died off. Loads of fags and booze left for me. I Am Fag-End.

  18. Twenty Major
    April 30th, 2009 @ 8:06 pm

    Yes, I can imagine you in your house with the non-smokers coming out at night to taunt you.

  19. 10 PARK DRIVE
    April 30th, 2009 @ 8:44 pm

    It’s Joe Biden dumbass.

  20. Capt Con O'Sullivan
    April 30th, 2009 @ 8:45 pm

    Little clear eyed nice-smelling cunts. BAM! BAM!

  21. maggot
    April 30th, 2009 @ 9:07 pm

    Cillit Bang powerspray works on bluebottles – I wonder if it is any good on Swine Flu or canvassers ?

  22. Jo
    April 30th, 2009 @ 9:20 pm

    Worth a try, maggot. You’ve clearly been experimenting already.

  23. maggot
    April 30th, 2009 @ 9:27 pm

    I’m in love with it Jo – farewell Cif products. Effective deodorant as well, though it melts the hairs.

  24. maggot
    April 30th, 2009 @ 9:39 pm

    I tried to phone the Swine Flu Help Line
    .
    .
    .
    .
    all I got was crackling.

  25. Jr.
    April 30th, 2009 @ 9:39 pm

    I blame sky news.

  26. Styrer
    April 30th, 2009 @ 9:47 pm

    I insist that all those in Government, especially the Dept of Health etc., in private practice and all citizens who are locking themselves indoors because of this flu should be immediately dragged off by Gardai to face trial and fined €100,000. This virus is God’s will and his will must be done. Fucking blaspheming anti-god anti-viral twats. May you all burn in hell and have your bank accounts emptied just before you get there.

    Styrer

  27. DD
    April 30th, 2009 @ 10:55 pm

    I’m off to picket the Mexican Embassey. Eh, where exactly is it?

  28. Satchmo
    May 1st, 2009 @ 12:41 am

    A fianna fail spokesperson has just revealed that swine flu is spread by farting but urges people not to panic as they plan on giving out free butt plugs to everyone and arming the gardai with butt plug guns, should be some interesting gun battles with the limerick gangs.

  29. Irish Begrudger
    May 1st, 2009 @ 1:12 am

    So…weak now….must stay alive…long enough…to….kill as many….pigs as possible…they caused…all this…if only…they…didn’t…taste so damn…good…nyam, nyam, nyam.

  30. MuckSavage
    May 1st, 2009 @ 3:29 am

    Its de pygmies to blame
    little half man half pyg bastards

  31. Hangar Queen
    May 1st, 2009 @ 5:50 am

    @DD

    It’s sneaked across the border to Norn Iron disguised as a cactus.

    A very slow moving cactus.

  32. Loco Lobo
    May 1st, 2009 @ 5:54 am

    The swine are gettig their revenge on us for turning them into sausage and eating them.
    If it proves fatal to decent people the only ones left on earth will be politicians and contributers to Twenty’s blog.

  33. maggot
    May 1st, 2009 @ 6:50 am

    you eat Mexicans Loco ?

  34. Jo
    May 1st, 2009 @ 8:51 am

    6.50 am, maggot? Jesus.

    That crackling joke was excellent.

    This cracked me up too

    http://theblogpound.wordpress.com/2009/04/28/patient-zero-is-found/

  35. maggot
    May 1st, 2009 @ 9:07 am

    A sneeze and a cough set the alarm bells ringing Jo – OK, it’s £20 less but I took a lemsip.

  36. JJ Celery
    May 1st, 2009 @ 9:27 am

    I have a cold as well, just waiting for that wheezy sound of respiratory issues…

    I thought I could stay away from the pigs, but I had to go to the office today.

  37. AJ Moloney
    May 1st, 2009 @ 12:47 pm

    pussy-flu.jpg

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