Queues and cars and traffic and stuff
Posted on | April 23, 2009 | 20 Comments
See all these plans to make Dublin city-centre car free? Pointless. Seriously.
You just need to look at the fact that thousands of people queued for a deli job in Londis yesterday. That’s unsustainable. Emigration is back on the agenda in a big way. It has to be.
If I were in Ryanair or Aer Lingus I’d be thinking up my marketing campaign.
“All in one emigration package. One way flight to over 90 destinations, little tricolour to wave at the airport as you’re leaving, up to 2 bags included in the price – start a new life for €99 (taxes not included)”
Because when thousands are queueing for a deli job there’s no doubt thousands are going to say ‘Fuck that. I’m not queueing for a fucking deli job. I’m outta here’.
So off they’d go to start a new life somewhere else. This time there’d be no sending money back home because the government will introduce some new ‘sendning money back home levy’ which would entail it being used to prop up the banks, developers and cronies, so more and more would have to leave the country.
Eventually so many people will have left that the traffic situation will have righted itself and we’ll be able to speed through the streets of Dublin like we used to. Remember those days? Remember Dame St without cars at rush hour? Remember? No, me either, fucking gobshite cunts.
How are we supposed to get places if we’re not allowed drive through town? And we’re all supposed to stand around waiting for the fewer buses to get us home? Pfff, laughable. In a ‘Haha, this government hasn’t got a clue’ kind of way and not a ‘haha, look that bloke just fell over and hit his head in a hilarious fashion’ kind of way.
Christ, if I wasn’t so lazy I’d emigrate myself.
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20 Responses to “Queues and cars and traffic and stuff”
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April 23rd, 2009 @ 10:57 am
Are FF retreating into Dev-Land ?
April 23rd, 2009 @ 11:56 am
So, if a year of the dole / benefit costs €X,000 per person, why not offer half that amount as an “assisted passage” grant, like in the oulden days.
April 23rd, 2009 @ 12:05 pm
Assisted passage? We’re still talking about cars and stuff, right?
April 23rd, 2009 @ 12:16 pm
Problem with a world wide recession is where would they go? Those old favourites, The UK and The Great satan, have their own problems and as Irish people are allergic to sunshine and hard work and are too ugly for the sex industry, they are in trouble!
April 23rd, 2009 @ 12:24 pm
Problem with a world wide recession is where would they go? Those old favourites, The UK and The Great satan, have their own problems and as Irish people are allergic to sunshine and hard work and are too ugly for the sex industry, they are in trouble!
Hahaha
April 23rd, 2009 @ 12:31 pm
Incidentally Twenty, I’d just like to thank those bastards at the Deli for nothing. They took one look at me, said “you’re drunk”, and discounted me as a candidate. I was coming from the scratcher office. Of course I was feckin drunk.
April 23rd, 2009 @ 12:35 pm
It’s already happening:
http://www.tribune.ie/news/home-news/article/2009/mar/15/traffic-levels-fall-by-almost-3-in-dublin/
April 23rd, 2009 @ 12:58 pm
I’m setting up a new business in the near future and am looking for applicants now. The starting salary is 100k+, excellent conditions and perks, head office is Dublin but work from home (golf course, race track or pub as suits) most of the time, generous travel expenses when you do have to attend the office (less than 100 days p.a.), company car for the high achievers, index linked guaranteed pension, generous vacation time, plenty of opportunities to earn additional income on the side. The successful applicants will have an unshakeable belief in their own self importance, no real talent necessary, an ability to talk shite in English a must, in Irish an additional advantage, please update your CV and watch this space for company name and address.
April 23rd, 2009 @ 2:25 pm
Er, yeah. But with added-extra “On yer bike!”
April 23rd, 2009 @ 4:58 pm
I’m considering taking Holy Orders – always fancied being a missionary, though hopefully not to Athlone.
April 23rd, 2009 @ 5:13 pm
No sympathy, you all RE-elected these corpulent two-faced inept uncle-fucking whoresons (ah sure dey must be berrah dan enda kenny, he bleedin hates de dubs). Didn’t a prime minister who blatantly didn’t pay taxes on illegal “donations” knowing he’d get away with it (and he did) blip any radars? Hasn’t Mary harneys GALACTIC long term incompetence ever given a clue that something’s deeply rotten at the core of irish politics? beverly (my daddys a rotten corrupt cunt too) flynn, kids, the two words that said it all.
April 23rd, 2009 @ 5:23 pm
You are assuming that everyone on here voted them in…
April 23rd, 2009 @ 5:33 pm
Blues skies of Ulster, Grey Skies of an Irish Republic – oft derided view when the Celtic tiger was roaring, but shown to be right.
April 23rd, 2009 @ 8:01 pm
Twenty. This all boils down to people who make decisions in this country getting paid too much money and not working hard enough. Like Michael McDowell and his fairytale idea that all towns are the same as Rathgar (they ain’t), he thought cafes were the future and we’d all turn into conservative anti-democratic cunts like him.
What McDowell and Dublin City planners fail to remember – and these planners are attempting to copy Berlin, Barcelona, Amsterdam etc – what these overpaid South Dublin cunts fail to remember is that this is Dublin. Not Berlin, not Barcelona. It pisses rain every fucking day here. we don’t like to walk from O’Connell Street to Grafton Street in the pissing fucking rain. We need cars because the transport system is still operating, like our governement, under an outdated, ineffecient, money and jobs-for-boys manner.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – the vast majority of people are thick cunts.
Lets pedestrianise dublin, drown everybody in pissing rain and increase hospital waiting queues all at the same time.
fucking thick cunts don’t realise that this is dublin, not some cool european city where the planners actually think straight. e.g. Bertie putting his mate Joe Burke on the dublin port authority, fucker can’t even swim
April 23rd, 2009 @ 10:00 pm
I applied for a job in Paris.
No further comments necessary.
April 23rd, 2009 @ 11:07 pm
Paris! The most friendly, welcoming city on the earth.
The people are so warm and welcoming.
Oh wait, I’m thinking of Beiruit.
April 24th, 2009 @ 10:24 am
I like Paris… I’d move there in the Morning..
April 24th, 2009 @ 1:52 pm
I don’t care about the people, they’re all French so they are as expected…
I’d move there in the morning too.
April 24th, 2009 @ 2:18 pm
Lets go!
April 26th, 2009 @ 11:28 pm
Well we wasted 52 million euro on those worthless contraptions that counted our votes…why not piss away all that money we spent on roads in Dublin too.