The cream of the nation

Tip of the hat to SuperGrover who posted this on the forum. It deserves a wider audience though.

“It went all the way up my gowl and it’s fuckin’ big” – absolute gold.

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100 Responses to “The cream of the nation”

  • Jo Says:

    See now.

    Having watched that, I can understand how the fear and neglect that baby in the buggy must experience on a daily basis, could lead him/her to act out in anti social ways, having developed defensive behaviours as response to what was modelled to him.

    And then it makes me sad to see that child condemned to jail, or some would have it, excecution or culling, because of the way he was formed.

    Someone could have stepped in and calmed them down for the sake of that child, instead of videoing them.

    Yeah, I can see why it’s funny and all. But really it’s just tragic. They learned it in their buggies too.

  • Twenty Major Says:

    I think you’re reading too much into it, Jo. There are only two humane options for that child.

    1 – Take it away from those people and send it far away to live with normal humans.

    2 – Kill it.

  • Conan Drumm Says:

    Fantastically horrific, sociologically speaking.

    And also, the garrison town legacy is definitely a factor.

  • Puerile Pish Says:

    That is class, I nearly fell off my chair at “he’s good looking for a knacker”. SG deserves a drink for digging that one up.

  • Fill3rup Says:

    Damn youtube blocked shitfuck firwall bollox…

    Can anyone give a brief description in words that i can read with my eyes,before IT block my sight somehow…

  • Twenty Major Says:

    It’s beyond words, Fill. You’ll have to look at it later.

  • Magoo Says:

    It’s okay Jo, that’s not a baby, it’s a days supply of Meanies,Fags and Lucozade

  • Jo Says:

    Sigh.

    Depressed.

    Meanies, fags and lucozade, the three food groups represented there, alright.

  • maggot Says:

    Made my day – anybody know her phone number ? I’m for Athlone!

  • SuperGrover Says:

    my favourite line

    “… he’s every bit as well endowed as what you are and he kisses my back better than what you do…”

    nice.

  • Twenty Major Says:

    No doubt as he’s ploughing right up her enormous gowl.

  • MaitiuB Says:

    Ya could swing a cat in her dirty gash I’d say.

  • maggot Says:

    What are meanies ?

  • SuperGrover Says:

    gowl… haven’t heard that word in at least 10 years.

    well classy alright

  • maggot Says:

    Cheers Twenty !

  • Darragh Says:

    I loved this. Loved it. Great find! :D

  • Fill3rup Says:

    Gowl is one of the best words ever…

    Means Cunt..

    Go’way outofit you fuckin GOWL!

  • Scaryduck Says:

    “Why do you like riding hippos?”

    A question we must all answer.

    And by “we”, I mean everybody not including me.

  • maggot Says:

    Nailerzz has a rival for our affections!

  • MaitiuB Says:

    Would be great if it had a background music…I suggest “Lets Get It Str8″ by Nailerz,DOC & Pikey

  • Twenty Major Says:

    Always had you down as more of a rhino man, Scary.

  • Deb Says:

    I love the way she pointed out that X didn’t HAVE to f*** up the arse! The other poor fecker must have been flinging pebbles up O’Connell St, but I guess that’s what he gets for riding hippos :O

  • Holemaster Says:

    You couldn’t script that.

  • Ibanez Says:

    brother and sister?

  • SAm Crea Says:

    What would be considered good looking for a Knacker?

  • Fill3rup Says:

    What would be considered good looking for a Knacker?

    All his own teeth and newly tattooed prison dots..

  • SuperGrover Says:

    gowl – i thought it also meant… well, not just the, y’know, bits, but also a descriptive noun for the *ahem* discharge thereof *ahem*

  • manuel Says:

    you couldn’t fucking script something like that…..

    brothers and sisters eh…..always fighting…..

  • Conan Drumm Says:

    “Interestingly,” said Professor Pedant, FTCD, “gowl (gowel) is directly from the Irish gabhal (pronouced the same). Means a fork (in the road) – junction – crotch – cunt. Charming use of Hiberno-English.”

  • SuperGrover Says:

    Ah, as in, “Cead Staisuin Eile – Next Station, Gabhal Binn Eaidar – Howth Junction”

    Interesting. Now I’ll have something to think of every time I’m on the train home.

  • Fill3rup Says:

    i always thought that howth was full of cunts..

  • SuperGrover Says:

    That may well be so, but Howth Junction train station is in Donaghmede / Kilbarrack.

    No comment.

  • Fill3rup Says:

    Your point being?

  • SuperGrover Says:

    No point. No comment. Just a fact.

  • DD Says:

    Kilbarrack is known as Lower Howth to estate agents.

  • Conan Drumm Says:

    And Gabhal Luimnigh is in Tippherhairy

  • DD Says:

    Estate agents are cunts.

  • andraste77 Says:

    The fact that there MIGHT have been a baby in that buggy lends the whole thing that much needed whiff of melancholy. Superb!

  • Robert Says:

    I am still laughing. that has been converted to mpeg and saved for future chuckleness

  • Fill3rup Says:

    Donaghmede and kilbarrack must be full of cunts then..

  • Walter Ego Says:

    I’m not a racist but………*coughIhateknackerscough*.

  • Hellbrain Says:

    “IT TOOK HIM FIVE YEARS OF PRISON TO GET ONE.”

    Best. Rebuttal. Ever.

  • Fintan Says:

    Awesome! Real Valley of the Squinting Windows stuff, but I agree with Jo above and feel real pity for that poor little sprog. Poor thing, I wouldn’t rate its prospects in life as great such inadequate people bringing it up.

  • fill3rup Says:

    Haha..thats fuckin priceless..

  • maggot Says:

    The bloke looks like Colin Farrell.

  • 10 PARK DRIVE Says:

    She sounds just like my missus. Scared me to death. Uncanny.

  • OB Says:

    *Sniff* so Romantic. It’s just like that Dawson’s Creek, isn’t it? *sniff*

  • IvyTheTerrible Says:

    That poor child having to hear about his ma’s gowl. Jesus.

  • Ibanez Says:

    tenner says they shagged and made up later than night

  • Puerile Pish Says:

    Classic comment on You Tube:
    “They all have dirty gashes down Athlone way, it’s genetic! ”

    Are you sure this isn’t a training video for social services. Anyway off to make “Cause he’s good looking for a knacker” my ring tone.

  • Irish Begrudger Says:

    Jesus, I’d like to apologise to everybody who watched that. I had no idea we were being filmed. I’ll definitely try to keep our domestics indoor from now on.

    In defence of my wife and her gowl, she is actually professor of linguistics at UCL (B.Sc, M.Sc, PHD), and a lady of some refinement. You just caught her — and indeed myself — at a bad moment there. We’d just arrived back from a lacklustre opera, and were feeling disillusioned by The Arts.

    Sorry again. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got gowl to be securing.

  • alke Says:

    Glad your all enjoying this. It took 2 hours to put the titles on it then they took it down and I had to start again, worth it though, it’s only been 6 days and it’s in 10 seperate top 100 lists including number 1 most favourited in Ireland this week. It’s already been on iRadio but I’d love if it made it onto telly. Anyone have Graham Nortons phone number? if so, why? LoL

  • morgor Says:

    Someone could have stepped in and calmed them down for the sake of that child, instead of videoing them.

    Hardly! That’s how people get stabbed!

  • itchybollix Says:

    There’s so much to laugh at here, the vid, the comments posted.

    Now you all know I’m not one to ramble on like a an attention seeking whore*cough, cough, but -I’d like to state

    tnks SG; that’s fucking so funny.

    J0 -
    “Someone could have stepped in and calmed them down for the sake of that child, instead of videoing them.” HAHAHAHA.,..I don’t like the idea of 2 knackers KICKING THE FUCKING SHIT OUT OF ME. Jo…c’mon….

    Fill3rup Says:
    April 22nd, 2009 at 1:46 pm
    Donaghmede and kilbarrack must be full of cunts then..

    Filler…would that not make Donaghmeade and Kilbarrack full of cocks? Howth Junction the gabhall?

    hippos…hahah…I’l never think of them the same again.

  • Deb Says:

    Filler…would that not make Donaghmeade and Kilbarrack full of cocks? Howth Junction the gabhall?

    Unless of course like the gentleman in the video, the cocks have to f*** up the arse, in which case the Gabhall is redundant and should probably close up shop and head to the local dole office with the rest of the population.

  • itchybollix Says:

    Deb Says:
    April 22nd, 2009 at 8:32 pm
    Filler…would that not make Donaghmeade and Kilbarrack full of cocks? Howth Junction the gabhall?

    Unless of course like the gentleman in the video, the cocks have to f*** up the arse, in which case the Gabhall is redundant and should probably close up shop and head to the local dole office with the rest of the population.

    I suppose donanghmeade and kilbarrack and of course howth junction, could all be cunts, the carpet munching type?

  • SuperGrover Says:

    Just clicked on alke’s link. (Fair play, alke, for the effort involved in the name of high art)

    Anyway, the first line I read on the link was this…

    “The Environmental Health Officer is to examine the source of a foul smell at Garden Vale and the Crescent in Athlone.”

    anyone…?

  • robocons Says:

    Nailerzz has a rival for our affections!

    I bet he’d make short work of her gowl with his fist.

  • Twenty Major Says:

    Glad your all enjoying this.

    It’s fantastic. Thanks a million for this wonderful look at Irish life.

  • Dalton Felch Says:

    Romantic Ireland’s dead and gone — its with those scummers in her gowl.

  • maggot Says:

    Ballykissangel eat your heart out!

  • Fintan Says:

    I just discovered that this has been posted on YouTube – titled “Athlone scumbags” – for the past four months, albeit without the subtitles that SuperGrover helpfully added.

    I have been in Athlone a lot and never witnessed anything like this. I wonder are they “country people” (if anyone knows what that means and who uses the phrase) or what?

  • Irish Begrudger Says:

    Mostly, I just feel proud to be Irish. Johnny Logan winning the Eurovision (twice), peace in the North, and now this. Finally, we’ve achieved the hat trick!

  • morgor Says:

    I wonder are they “country people” (if anyone knows what that means and who uses the phrase) or what?

    I would assume country people means farming community types.
    They are definitely not country people…

  • 5 woodbines Says:

    fuck , i’ve missed being first comment , have i ?

  • SuperGrover Says:

    I didn’t add the subtitles. ‘alke’ (above) did, apparently.

  • GLUAISTEAN Says:

    I SEE YOU’VE BEEN OUT ON THE TOWN CHATTIN’ TO YOUR GIRLFRIEND, TWENTY…

  • Puerile Pish Says:

    I was thinking of writing an entry for Lonely planet:

    Why not take time to visit the charming town of Athlone. make time to see the Irish at their most natural, engaging in the famous “craic” in the street for all to observe. see how they involve their children at an early age so the legendary “blarney” is passed through the generations. Whilst in Athone take time to visit the famous “gowl” renowned for its ability to take in large masses whilst avoidng taking it “up the arse” . Please note the Athone safari park which contains only hippos is only open May-September.

  • porridge Says:

    it’s not only the cream that floats to the top

  • Fill3rup Says:

    I SEE YOU’VE BEEN OUT ON THE TOWN CHATTIN’ TO YOUR GIRLFRIEND, TWENTY…

    Welcome back Gluey!

  • niole Says:

    this is basically a video of child abuse. nothing funny about it.

  • Fill3rup Says:

    Nah Really, Its hilarious..

  • Fill3rup Says:

    Nah, Really, Its hilarious..

  • Twenty Major Says:

    this is basically a video of child abuse. nothing funny about it.

    Christ.

    That game is certainly in poor taste, Fill

  • Fill3rup Says:

    I dunno Twenty.have you ever been on a Transatlantic Flight sitting near a screaming shit-machine?

  • Puerile Pish Says:

    Fuck, I was developing a PC game called “leave my child unattended in a hotel room ” where your character goes round a trashy holiday resort and then gets points deducted depending on the fate of the child you leave. I am currently finding the alogorithm for parents covering up their own crime a bit difficult but sensing the outrage on this site I will now stop.

  • Fill3rup Says:

    Heh..

    Will it be online multi-player PP?

    You can choose between different characters to play: Either of the Parents,the incompetant and corrupt local police force,the inoccent (but a bit creepy) stooge,the rabidly drooling media..
    You cant play the murderer though coz…oops,i have given too much away.

  • Puerile Pish Says:

    Yep, there is also a feature for fleecing money out of the players to help find out the actual fate of the child. Watch out though , idf you get caught spunking it on champers and truffles the rabid press will hunt you down.

  • Fill3rup Says:

    obviously then it’ll be a subscription service like WOW..heh

  • Fill3rup Says:

    Now to find a name…

  • Fill3rup Says:

    a good one i mean

  • Fill3rup Says:

    Line of Sight (from the bar)

  • Xbox4NappyRash Says:

    I’m speechless. They should host the late late.

  • Disgruntled Says:

    And that ladies and gentlemen who work for a living is where your 2% 7% whatever% levies are going – Keepin scumbags like that in Social Welfare and free housing – This country is in dire need of a week of ethnic cleansing -

  • Fintan Says:

    morgor said:
    April 23rd, 2009 at 7:22 am

    I wonder are they “country people” (if anyone knows what that means and who uses the phrase) or what?

    I would assume country people means farming community types.
    They are definitely not country people…

    Actually, I only asked to see how many would know something I only found out a few years ago, when a relative of mine was a social worker dealing mainly with the Travelling community.

    We call them “Travellers”, as they themselves prefer, and they call the rest of us (i.e. all the Irish who are non-Travellers) “Country People”.

    Odd, but so I was informed.

  • Fintan Says:

    Xbox4NappyRash said:
    April 23rd, 2009 at 7:14 pm

    I’m speechless. They should host the late late.

    But are you sure that even they could descend to the slimebaggy cunty smarminess of the guy who set the standard for the show – Gaybo himself?

  • Fuznestle Says:

    Has she as many sprogs as Miriam O’Callaghan, though?

  • DD Says:

    Who says they are on welfare? I heard that the two of them are employed in O2 Customer Care.

  • Toronto Icarus Says:

    Its a good day for videoposts…

    http://failblog.org/

    Licence Plate Fail!

  • Medbh Says:

    I got such a kick out of seeing you linked by Michael K.
    Awesome!

  • Twenty Major Says:

    heh yeah, super cool.

  • Fill3rup Says:

    Has she as many sprogs as Miriam O’Callaghan, though?

    If you feed Miriam O’Callaghan after midnight,she gives birth in the morning..

  • Up your gowl so it is? - DesignersTalk Says:

    [...] your gowl so it is? The cream of the nation | Twenty Major – Still smoking in Dublin bars Funny and depressing at the same time, gawd help the child in the middle of all [...]

  • Sobranie Says:

    No need to worry about the child. All he has to do is listen carefully to his parents and he will be the next great Irish dramatist.

    Athlone the home of Irish Amateur Drama and they are the living proof.

    Head down this weekend for the Amateur Drama Festival to see if there will be great street theatre.

    Athlone the home of

  • sarita Says:

    have you seen the song somebody wrote after watching this video? comedy gold. find it on youtube.

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