Cocksucking dolphin motherfuckers
Oh, you laughed. You sneered. You ridiculed and cast slurs and aspersions. You looked down your bottle-noses at me. Well, fuck you and your Greenpeace loving ways.
“Dolphins are so cool. Dolphins are intelligent, you know. Dolphins are so friendly and nice and lovely and cute and blah blah fucking blah”.
Well now dolphins are here. Are you happy now? Are you going to take you children out to look at the dolphins in Dublin Bay? Are you going to marvel at them?
“Oh, kids, look at the dolphins. Look how they leap into the air then back into the sea like air-leaping sea dwelling creatures. Aren’t they cool? Aren’t they friendly and nice and lovely and cute and blah blah fucking blah?”
And the kids will be fooled by the dolphins and their legend will grow and nobody will think there’s anything wrong when the dolphin rapture comes. And it will come, you mark my words.
And those of you who want to scoff again, well, I’ve just got one thing to say to you:
April 22nd, 2009 at 9:30 am
Something’s going on, that’s for sure.
Be vigilant, people.
April 22nd, 2009 at 9:33 am
April 22nd, 2009 at 9:56 am
So long, and thanks for all the fish.
April 22nd, 2009 at 9:58 am
What worries me, is that I fear the dolphins may be colluding with the Platypi. In the unholy alliance of flipper and a platypus, there is only one loser: human kind. God help us. God help us all (and in particular, me).
April 22nd, 2009 at 10:16 am
An acquaintance of mine is a genuine expert on cetaceans and he thinks the whale and dolphin lovin’ folks are loons. He believes that the dolphins are going to swim faster and faster around Ireland, creating an enormous maelstrom which will suck the island under the sea, as is foretold. Then the Orcas will finish us off. It’s not for nothing ocras is an anagram of Orcas.
April 22nd, 2009 at 10:18 am
I do wish the “experts” would pay heed to the erudite Mr Drumm.
April 22nd, 2009 at 10:20 am
with Ireland being an Island,we are truly fucked,the prophecy of a Cetaceans Siege of Ireland lasting 1000 years is to come true..
Grab yer Harpoons…
April 22nd, 2009 at 11:00 am
Do dolphins give good blowjobs?
April 22nd, 2009 at 11:04 am
So, there is “reality” and there is the Simpsons. They are different. It’s like the big/far away cow thing in Ted, K?
April 22nd, 2009 at 11:05 am
Oh, and peadar, it’s not called a blowhole for nothing.
April 22nd, 2009 at 11:09 am
It’s like the big/far away cow thing in Ted, K?
Explain how that works?
April 22nd, 2009 at 11:16 am
Tins of Tuna – the only defence. Scares the crap out of the Rio Ferdinands.
April 22nd, 2009 at 12:52 pm
Ain’t no dolphin gonna take me alive. I believe their Achilles heal is their penis — their Achilles penis, if you will. Locate it (no easy task) and go to work with some stiff (cough) jabs, maybe a few overhand rights? You’ll soon chop that dolphin down to size, rendering him as impotent as a trout.
April 22nd, 2009 at 1:38 pm
dolphins eh? i was certain it would be zombies that would do for us
April 22nd, 2009 at 1:48 pm
That’s what the dolphins want you to think.
April 22nd, 2009 at 2:59 pm
Our Achilles heel is Achill. Once the pod creatures drown Achill, we’re done for.
Unless, like in War of the Worlds they catch a chill.
April 22nd, 2009 at 3:24 pm
You’re not alone Twenty:
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28315
April 22nd, 2009 at 5:29 pm
It won’t be you that told us so but The Simpsons, they told us about it YEARS ago..