Randomia
Easter Monday is just like a crap Sunday.
It’s fucking grey today. After days of sunshine and warmth the real Ireland hits you smack in the mouth.
I’ve just bitten my thumbnail too far. Nail biters will know the pain I suffer. So it’s grey, it’s a crap Sunday and I have a sore thumbnail. My quick is aching.
And today’s the day we have to go around to Stinking Pete’s for his bi-annual Easter Monday Culinary Suprise Night. Last year he roasted a piglet in a drum out his back garden. He should have bought a dead one though, the little fucker ran for his life before Dirty Dave stabbed him eighty-six times to kill him. It was stab eighty-four that did it. Man, the blood.
Still at least I got to film it and send it to PETA, the cunts.
I have no idea what’s on the menu tonight. Wild armadillo served with an anteater jus, probably.
I’m really not a fan of armadillo, it’s too chewy.
April 13th, 2009 at 11:57 am
I believe armadillo tastes like chicken Twenty. Probably more accurately, a cross between armadillo and fried platypus. ‘Platydillo’, if you will.
As for those wankers in PETA? Why can’t they just disband, like the IRA? The people of the Spain have suffered enough, what with civil war and the whole julio iglesias thing.
April 13th, 2009 at 12:50 pm
you should join Bored Housewives Against Julio Iglesias for starters
April 13th, 2009 at 1:11 pm
Wasn’t PETA the Blue Peter dog? Maybe that’s what’s on the menu…with quenelles of sticky-back-plastic and julienne of John Noakes
April 13th, 2009 at 1:26 pm
Welcome back!
April 13th, 2009 at 3:50 pm
I once eat kangaroo. Very nice, and I’m told you can get it in that specailist butchers in Terenure, just off the crossroads.
April 13th, 2009 at 3:57 pm
But think of the cracking Twenty, think of the crackling!
April 13th, 2009 at 4:16 pm
Maybe he’ll surprise you and serve roadkill. Hopefully, no more than a week old and slathered in Westershire sauce or ketchup and washed down with good beer.
April 13th, 2009 at 4:24 pm
Ever know a PETA member? Out to fucking lunch all of them and if you want a good laugh check out PETA KILLS. A total pack of fucknobs
April 13th, 2009 at 4:26 pm
Mmmmm..Armadillo,smooth on the inside,crunchy on the outside!
April 13th, 2009 at 5:23 pm
What an old misery guts you are Twenty. Fuckin’ brighten up willya.
April 13th, 2009 at 6:12 pm
I was thinking the same thing. You’re a grumpy fucker these days, Twenty, and whingey with it.
I do sympathise about the thumbnail though. A nice tight plaster is good. And Hypercal cream.
Worst thing to have to do with bitten nails? Carry a mattress.
April 13th, 2009 at 7:31 pm
Worst thing to have to do with bitten nails is flamenco guitar, Jo
April 13th, 2009 at 9:25 pm
I don’t know people. I’d say the worst thing to do with bitten nails is probably murder a prostitute. Its a fairly heinous act regardless of whether the nails are bitten, but still.
April 13th, 2009 at 10:13 pm
it’s grey, it’s a crap Sunday and I have a sore thumbnail
Lucky for you it’s monday!
WOOHOO!
April 13th, 2009 at 10:15 pm
Yeah, but would it be particularly sore?
April 14th, 2009 at 12:35 am
Prostates can make some older men like that Jo.
Just watched “Get Carter” – the original, not the shit remake – great film and quite the cast!
April 14th, 2009 at 6:41 am
Dime …. Bar?
April 14th, 2009 at 8:12 am
I once had “cui” in a restaurant in Cuzco. My Spanish is just about good enough to understand the waiter saying it was the Peruvian national dish and a “must”, but not good enough to know what it is. I thought it might be rabbit and ordered it.
Ugh, a disgusting oily mass of fat with a tiny bit of lean meat. Other diners were wolfing it while I picked at the lean. When I checked the dictionary back at my hotel, it turned out to be guinea pig (= a kind of rat).
Armadillo couldn’t be worse. The only worse dish I’ve ever tasted is surströmming in Sweden – small Baltic herrings that have been buried and allowed to rot, then canned until the tin puffs up. They look like they are coated in a viscous layer of greenish-yellow snot and smell so badly that they are only eaten outdoors.
Hope the thumbnail feels better. It usually does after a day or two.