I have decided the best way to cope with the increases in taxes on booze and smokes and my money is to fuck off out of here for a couple of days.
It’s only a crime to transport large amounts of cash out of the country if they catch you, you know.
I’ll come back and find out exactly how hard they fucked us. My guess is ‘very hard indeed’.
Twenty, will the jailors allow you to blog from your cell block?
Where are you going? Isle of Man?
It’s Medbh isn’t it ? You are going on the run!
fuck off twenty, you love been fucked hard up the arse
stay off the foreign Guinness……or your arse will be running like Giggsy during an Fa cup replay…..
just saying like……
have a good un
I wonder if breaking news will report something terrible having happened to Bock shortly.
Rival blogger unavailable for comment…
Police looking for man on Honda 50 Jo ?
I think we all should have buggered off over night. Imagine Brian Cowen’s embarrassment to realise he was delivering his emergency budget to a country with a population of 0. We could all be hiding out in Wales for a few days, living rough, feeding on raw sheep, drinking from the waters of the river Thames (as is my understanding of geography).
Who knows? We might even grow to enjoy our lives as Welsh vagabonds. If we showered, trimmed our nasal hair and generally presented ourselves well, we could perhaps interbreed with the Welsh and slowly colonise West Britain with our mighty celtic sperm. A millennia or so later, we might breed out the Scots too. Then we’ll have the damned English surrounded (more or less). And that’s when the cows come home to roost.
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Bet the silly old duffer is having his Farmer Giles removed.
Don’t worry, Twenty. You should be off the cushion in a few days…
Your very welcome in the sunny North of Ireland cheap booze / cheap fags / ugly fags we have the lot. Weather forecast is good too !
Happy Cunting !
Sipping fucking Pina Piranhas or whatever they’re called from your yacht, watching us writhe in a banjaxing budget, is it?
Twenty, you Celtic Cubs disgust me.
Irishbegrudger – if you eat Welsh food then as the Welsh mollycules enter your body you will slowly and inexorably become Welsh – a fete worse than Live Aid.
Well, I’m just back from holidays and guess what? I got myself enough smokes to last till my next smuggler gets here. I paid 37,5 euro for 20 packets. That’s (for those frantically looking for a calculator)just under 2 euro a packet.
That means, with pre-budget price of €8.10, I just saved €124.50 on cigarettes for this month.
Funny that, this is how much my flight to Poland cost.
A fete worse than Live Aid.
That’s the best pun i’ve ever seen on this blog!
It’s disgusting! Tar, feathers, anyone?
Soon there won’t even BE a pot to fucking piss in…
Jesus Twenty, don’t go! Have you not heard of the impending re-entering Irish-Air-Space tax? It’s intended to catch ‘non-resident’ tax avoiders and keep Irish tourists at home.
Maggot: your theory on the molecular colonisation effects of Welsh food is interesting to me. I wish to test your theory in a laboratory environment. Please bring ten Welshmen and ten miscellaneous folk to my lair. And bring a wheelbarrow of pringles (it’s going to be a long Spring).
I regret to say it is not my theory but one expounded by that great man Myles Na cGopaleen.
As for your suggestion I find the idea of having anything to do with one Welshman, let alone ten, offensive and dangerous! It is no coincidence that the word for world-pain or world-weariness is Welshmertz -I don’t know why Switzerland is touted to encourage voluntary eithanasia – a weekend in a Welsh B&B would be far more cost effective and convenient.
LOL they tried to raise the taxes on smokes in Canada a few years ago so the tobacco companies started to smuggle their own products into Canada through the Native Reserves cost the government Millions in tax revenue so the government drooped the taxes back.
Just take a holiday to someplace like Croatia and buy like a shipping crate full of smokes..you’ll be the most popular man in your neighbourhood for sure when you get back
Are smokes not still pretty expensive anyway in Candida Dave ? I know pipe tobacco is very expensive there compared to prices in “The Great Satan”.
I’m going to make a totally smug comment:
I gave up smoking one year ago. I have so far saved myself about €2,000, I can taste and smell again, No more sinus headaches, no more smokers cough, no stepping out in the cold for a fix, better sex, better sleep, less anxiety, normal blood pressure.
Bring on the abuse…..
I gave up smoking one year ago.
Cunting honorary Welshman.
Quittin’s for Quitters,Quitter! Well done..
yeah Maggot its still expensive but not expensive enough for crooks to make a huge profit or for common folks to drive out of their way to look for reserve smokes. But it still goes on of course
Myles Na cGopaleen is my God, Maggot. Love all his stuff. You’ve made a powerless friend here today.
“I can taste and smell again, No more sinus headaches, no more smokers cough, no stepping out in the cold for a fix, better sex, better sleep, less anxiety, normal blood pressure.”
I fail to see a reason to be able to smell and taste better than I do – the smells in the air are unbearable enough as they are and since with the minibudget I will be living on oatmeal anyway, I think my numbed down taste buds will do just fine.
I don’t get sinus headaches or the smokers cough (maybe I don’t smoke enough)and I welcome stepping out for a fix because if I wouldn’t smoke, I wouldn’t get a break at all.
I don’t think my sex could get any better and I sleep just fine. When it comes to anxiety, well, last time I checked smoking was actually helping?
There are two sides to every story, Holemaster. But, of course, it takes a lot to admit that ;) .
Heh, thanks for the Myles quote Maggot.
I’d forgotten that one and it will come in handy.
Heading off then Twenty? I hear Iceland’s nice this time of year.
Halifax Dave,
I’m sure Bubbles, Ricky and Julian are still getting their smokes from the Reserve though.
Hey JJ, you must under 30. And sex is a work in progress.
Hope you’ve thought of Bastard face and Throatripper.
I suppose they could live off goats and crabs.
http://www.dailymercury.com.au/story/2009/04/06/castaway-cattle-dog-rounds-up-island-delicacies/
Heh, nice riposte, Holemaster.
Am I particularly stupid or just not Internet savvy enough to get a straight fucking answer from google.ie or RTE online budget shite about how much me beloved smokes and booze are gonna cost me. It seems everytime I wan’t news or information about anything in Ireland I get 0 results whereas if I wanted to find a personals website for Mongolian goat loving BBW necrophiliacs seeking naive Irish boys there’d be an avalanche of results. All I’m getting is stupid reports about Doctors demanding increase of gargantuan amounts on cigarettes and alcohol which reminds me , my local G.P is a chronic alcoholic who chugs on expensive cigars like Hannibal from the A Team. Now although he lives a lifestyle that would make J.R. Ewing seem like a hobo I doubt he is demanding this rise. When will people learn that increasing the price of fags and booze does not make people quit, it only increases suffering, black market trade etc. Are they forgetting that a high proportion of mentally ill folk smoke and an increase of 2 euro might result in mass suicide. Brian Cowen is a fucking cretin and his obesity will result in a similarly slow and painful death as my smoking will so there Biffo. I’m dreading going down to my local Mace only to be told by the nice East European young man who looks suspiciously like Barry Manillow that my purchase will be “10 euro 10 cents thank you please”.
I don’t think my sex could get any better
groan.
Holemaster, you’re right, I am :) Do you think that coughing and sinus pain is reserved for those over 30?
maggot, sorry for crushing your dreams again :P
Nefarious, that’s 10 euro thirteen according to my calculations, please, thank you.
“ASH Ireland has said that it is very disappointed with the 25 cent increase in the price of tobacco.(…)ASH had sought a €2 increase on a pack of 20 cigarettes and related products.” source: RTE Live Budget Tracker
Mathematics is apparently somthing that ASH Ireland is not familiar with.
25% of €8.10 = €2.025, right?
They got what they asked for, didnt they?
And reading isn’t your strong point. 25 cent not 25 percent. Doh!
peadar, I feel so blond right now.
I just read it quickly expecting the worst and that’s what my eyes saw. But my glasses are a bit dirty, so I’ll blame them! :>
Well, that just gives me an excuse to go for a pint after work – too stupid to do anything else.
You might as well, they didn’t increase the price of drink. That’s about they only good thing I’ve heard about the budget
Are smokes gone to €10?
nah, that’s just my inability to read.
They’re gone up by 25c, so they should be somewhere around €8.35.
Who’s up for a pint in Bray’s Porterhouse?
(yes, I do realise what I’m getting into by asking this question and I’m over 18)
I’ll check the Herald, it’ll be the first thing they mention.
No one? oh well. I’ll go on my own.
Ahhh god love ye.
Anyways, don’t leave you’re drink unattended.
Fuck me I’ve got the apostrophe bug in reverse!
My pint? Unattended? Come on, nobody does that!
My guess is that twenty is off to spain.
You know, for a certain footie match.
Smokes are going up in price? Why?
To make money for all the smokers on the dole. It’s very circular.
He DID say 25% increase. It was corrected later to 25 cents, there was alot of weeping round these parts.
SIPES thank god, at least it’s not just me going insane….
Now me, I’m a mysoginist. I can tell because of all the porn I look at. Women aren’t even objects to me, they’re images. Images that look like they fell down the stairs with no clothes on.
I used to think men and women were equal, but when I was six I saw Wimbledon on the telly box and I realised that men were stronger than women and that it didn’t much matter that one side was a smart as the other, because in the end, men could just punch women and that would be that.
A lot of people spent a lot of years trying to tell me the world was otherwise but in the end, the six-year-old me was dead right. I guess if you’re lucky you see what you see, not what you think you should see.
men could just punch women and that would be that.
I’ll bet Martina Navratilova would rip your head off!
I bet I could.
And even if I fail, there’s enough people that would if you’d even think of punching me.
So much violence in the world.
No way, I would totally beat Navratilova at arm wrestling and then I would go on to earn more money doing the same job while her lesbo face was pressed against the glass ceiling.
Come on now people! There are ignorant opinions being voiced here and it is YOUR job to pick up the torch of righteousness and test the mettle of your pathetically inept and shallow philosophies in the only true forum of free speech left.
torhes he sez .. I cant afford torches
“pathetically inept and shallow philosophies”
Oh come on. You come up with some insulting paragraph about men’s superiority above women and expect to be treated seriously enough for anyone to bother picking up their torches and mettles?
I daresay your philosophies, since developed at age of six and left unchanged since, are shallower than ours.
Hey you were the one who wanted to punch me and then run off to hide behind men! Plus I bet you’re ugly.
By the way does anyone think Brian Lenihan has put on a lot of weight recently?
I never said that would be men that I would be hiding behind, I said they would be people, which is much more than you are.
How much you would bet?
You’re too easily wound up JJ
First of I’m a person, not people, you silly goose, and second, I would bet five ga-zillion man dollars. I’ve forgotten what the bet is, but seeing as it’s a competition and I’m a man and you’re a vegetable, I will even offer you odds of five ga-zillion to one.
Plus I bet you’re ugly.
JJ cannot be a bean flicker – she’s gorgeous!
(Don’t be alarmed JJ – though your name is Celery I’m not going to “stalk” you! )
Peadar, I’m not wound up, I’m really enjoying this, actually. One rarely sees such a poor argumentum ad hominem in use.
An ugly silly goose, or a vegetable, punching a “man” and running to hide afterwards is quite an amusing picture, too.
Tell me, MMN, what is a plural of “person”?
Don’t you think that “people” is more than a “person” (since we’re being exacting)?
So I had to go look up that bit of Latin in wikipedia, apparently it means you attack the person instead of the argument. I suggested that men were stronger and indeed better than women, and you attacked me, not the argument, so good job there, Cicero.
As to the plurality or person(s??) / people, it seems I misunderstood the shitty sentence you wrote above:
‘I said they would be people, which is much more than you are.’
Initially I thought you meant ‘you’re not even a person’ but it turns out you meant ‘people are more than you, individual, so take that!’. A is a crushing application of mathematics, no doubt.
I have to run for a bit, but that should give you sufficient time to retro-ingest your panties and work up some really red cheeks for another charming if unclear swipe at the ether.
Kisses!
JJ – is MMN by any chance your Husband ?
MMN, I am so sorry for you that you needed to look that up. I never wanted to waste to much of your time.
I need to correct you, the first comment did not attack you (and therefore was not ad hominem) because I didn’t actually punch you; it was mathematical use of reductio ad absurdum, meaning that by providing just one example where your theory is wrong, I abolished your entire theory. Meaning, that if it would be enough that I punch you myself, your theory is false, and if not, my intellect and personality has gained me powerful friends that will punch you instead, so your theory is false.
The comment about plurality had intended double meaning, so that it could stand true in any case (no matter how you chose to interpret it).
Also, the use of “persons” as plural of “person” limits only to formal and legal documents and this blog is neither, therefore “people” (which is a suppletive plural of “person”) should be used.
Conclusions: yes, I did mean you’re not even a person and yes, my comment, if it suits my needs, may be read as crushing application of mathematics. Regardless, I disproved your theory by proving that just one woman with sufficient qualities can get a man beaten up one way or another and therefore, we’re better, Quod Erat Demonstrandum.
Excuse my Latin.
maggot, I wanted to get the money first, you ruined the bet! :)
maggot, are you trying to insult me now? Do you really think I would take THIS for a husband?
(if I would be married, that is)
It’s just that the conversation reminds me of the days – both of them – when I had a wife!
maggot, both of the days you had a wife? That sounds like a short marriage ;P
I used to have conversations of similar type with my father at the kitchen table, only they were on a higher intelectual level :)
JJ Celery.
Was his initial point not:
If all the men fought all the women. The men would win. Because of their physical superiority.
No?
Nothing more nothing less. Not involving you getting men on your side to punch him. Or using trickery or argumentative techniques.
Just punches in the face.
Seems pretty sensible to me. Not saying I want the men to beat up all the women. But if it did happen the men would surely win. That’s not being sexist/mysoginist or whatever just look at the facts.
100metres world record holder Usain Bolt, not a woman. The same applies to basically any physical sport. Men are physically superior to women.
This just is.
“The same applies to basically any physical sport. Men are physically superior to women.”
‘Cept riding
Well, Plop, weather you are aware of it or not you are currently using “trickery or argumentative techniques” by narrowing down MMN’s statement. No, his initial point was not that narrow.
He said that men are superior to women because men are physically superior to women (in his statement physical superiority equals superiority altogether), where I disagree, because physical superiority would result in men’s victory only if every man fight every woman or punch them in the face, but not in a real life situation where the intelligence and other non-physical qualities win.
I don’t disagree that men are build differently than women and therefore in most cases (but not all), they have grater strength, speed and endurance. This is not something anyone can do anything about. It’s the same for nearly every species on earth.
I argue, however, that this makes men superior to women. Because we are human, physical strength doesn’t matter as much as it means in the animal world. For the same reason we say we are superior to animals, we should never say one sex is superior to the other because of the physical strength. It would be like saying that “bears are superior to men, because they can just rip men apart”.
I would also argue that it is not true that all women are weaker than all men. This would be true only if the weakest of men would be stronger than the strongest of women (and this can be easily proven false).
Le sigh.
So, how ’bout them Yankees?
It makes men superior because if you look at the world generally men still hold the most superior positions.
This superior standing was obtained due to mens dominance physically throughout history and nature.
It’s only changing/changed because of our change in attitude towards allowing women pursue intellectual endeavours.
i.e. we’re allowing women share the power and have allowed change to occur to enable them the same rights as us.
I’m not arguing that they shouldn’t have these rights. Just that it is because we let them and stopped enforcing the physical dominance. And realistically if you look at it we are still superior.
Take the majority of CEO positions in the world. Majority of heads of state.
etc etc etc.
It makes men superior because if you look at the world generally men still hold the most superior positions.
This superior standing was obtained due to mens dominance physically throughout history and nature.
It’s only changing/changed because of our change in attitude towards allowing women pursue intellectual endeavours.
i.e. we’re allowing women share the power and have allowed change to occur to enable them the same rights as us.
I’m not arguing that they shouldn’t have these rights. Just that it is because we let them and stopped enforcing the physical dominance. And realistically if you look at it we are still superior.
Take the majority of CEO positions in the world. Majority of heads of state.
etc etc etc.
Oh and about the not all women weaker than all men. I didn’t mean every single man was stronger than every single woman. i.e. than any one man could be pitted against any woman and win.
Just if a contest was held with every man joined forces against every woman joined in forces that at the end there would be still some men standing and no women.
To the hypothetical death and all that.
Plus bears are totally better than men. They’re stronger and a far more sustainable organism.
I think mmn is twenty mixing it up a bit
It makes men superior because if you look at the world generally men still hold the most superior positions.
This superior standing was obtained due to mens dominance physically throughout history and nature.
It’s only changing/changed because of our change in attitude towards allowing women pursue intellectual endeavours.
i.e. we’re allowing women share the power and have allowed change to occur to enable them the same rights as us.
I’m not arguing that they shouldn’t have these rights. Just that it is because we let them and stopped enforcing the physical dominance. And realistically if you look at it we are still superior.
Take the majority of CEO positions in the world. Majority of heads of state.
etc etc etc.
Oh and about the not all women weaker than all men. I didn’t mean every single man was stronger than every single woman. i.e. than any one man could be pitted against any woman and win.
Just if a contest was held with every man joined forces against every woman joined in forces that at the end there would be still some men standing and no women.
To the hypothetical death and all that.
Once again I repeat that the physical superiority does not mean superiority altoghether.
I agree that the reason why men still hold strong positions is because of the historical tendency to grant those positions to the physically strongest. This stems from times where strength meant power and authority, and many still hold on to the belief that this is so.
I would like you to realise that if you look back, all of the positions of power used to belong to men. Now it’s just the “majority” and the numbers dwindle. You’re not “allowing women share the power”, you didn’t have the choice. Women just came and took it, silly.
I draw a conclusion that the world is finally starting to recognise that men and women should not and will not rule themselves by the same rules as animals do. It’s been a long time since “survival of the fittest”. Now it’s survival of the smartest, most intelligent and most cunning, both men and women alike.
And the rest can have the hypothetical death and all that.
Anyways, I’m going to do some work now.
I invite anyone who would like to continue this conversation with me as an opponent to Porterhouse in Bray this evening (because I still feel like having a pint of Guinness!)
And I would like YOU to realise that the only reason you have this glorious co-existence is cause we let you.
Or just agree to disagree.
And don’t try be nice and dismissive using the silly thing. It’s pretty lame babydoll.
Great, thanks for clearing that up.
Here’s a thing, genuine now, but the rule of law (international law) is really rather illusory. Take the American invasion of Iraq – the whole world said no, but they said screw you guys, we’re doing this anyway and fuck the UN or any other organisation that says otherwise.
So riddle me this: What is the Latin for ‘a nice pair of boobs sitting snugly in a bikini’? It’s pornus, right? PornUM you say?? You’re probably right, let me check that out…
Okay, close, but it wasn’t pornum. Maybe that’s Latin for ‘firewall’.
It wasn’t ‘pornibus’ either.
I’m beginning to suspect that there’s no Latin for ‘boobs in a bikini’, and a language that can’t say ‘boobs in a bikini’ isn’t a language worth having, frankly.
As far as I know boobs are “pectus”. Nothing “porn-” related.
Check it: The Latin for ‘boobs in bikini’ is in fact ‘boobs in bikini’!! I checked it in an online translator. Dead language my ass!
Still though, I was hoping for something with a bit of old-world feel, you know what I mean? So I went for ‘earth i.e. globes, in cups’ and that gave me ‘Mundum in Vas’ so there’s another word for earth which is ‘orbis’ so if we were to say ‘globes with cups’ we’d get ‘Orbes cum vasis’. Awesome.
So I figure when Marcus and Caecilius get onto talking about Helena’s (Martellus’ missus) tits, they say something like ‘orbes cum vasis bonus’ which I think you’ll agree is a slogan that anyone can get behind.
You are dead right! That would make the phrase: ‘Bonus Pectii’. I think we’re losing something on the onomatopoeic front though. And there was of course the undeniable fnar-fnar-edness of ‘cum’ too.
Hey, quit ruining Latin, you uppity bitch!
These arguments are so pointless. Yes men can lift heavy things and wrestle alligators and whatnot but would you really want your women to be built like Hulk Hogan? Femininity is damn sexy and I love me some women. they smell better, they feel better, they have less body hair, they bother to wash themselves and they have the power to push human beings out of very tender places which is something that I as a man consider a mighty feat and one which I would not like to attempt.
Hey what’s the Latin for apologist?
Zing! you can tell I’m having fun, right?
MMN “cum” in this case would mean with, so you can always go for “femina cum bonus pectii”… or even “femina cum optimus pectii”, like me :)
maggot, both of the days you had a wife? That sounds like a short marriage ;P
Not short enough – 3 days shorter would have been better LOL Seemed like years! I was just an impetuous and naive youth.
:) the word “apologist” comes from Greek :P
Optimus Pectii sounds pretty close to Optimus Prime which makes it cool as fuck. And there was me thinking the use of Latin alienated people because its elitist and a little insecure.
Listen, I realise this is a bit sudden, but is there any chance at all that you’d marry me? Every time you were in the hall I’d be able to say: Celleria est in Atrium. And if you were in the garden I’d say: Celleria est in Horta.
Things might get quiet after that, but if I’m honest, I’d have to tell you that I’m a traditional kind of guy who like his women to look good and shut the fuck up.
Whatcha think? We could honeymoon in the library and shit?
Nefarious, you made me feel better about myself. One thing I know for sure it’s that I smell nice :P
maggot, one smart philosopher once said “by all means, marry. If you get a good wife you’ll be happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philiosopher” :) these days there are more divorces and virually no philosophers…
MMN, te audire no possum. Musa sapientum fixa est in aure. (read: over my dead body)
(besides I’m against shitting in the library)
JJ.
Nice Rant. HA!
That’s all very well, but how do I know if that’s what you really said? I looks to me like something happened to a possum and someone’s got no septum.
And why didn’t you were with someone before I came all the way over here and bought you a damn drink?! I’ve wasted like HOURS now and I could’ve been talking to someone else.
Don’t worry, it’s just the sting of rejection, I’ll get over it.
It said “I can’t hear you. I have a banana in my ear.”
And where is that drink you mentioned? I didn’t get one. I might have been nicer if I would have had a drink.
A banana in your ear? I KNEW it. Would that be like habeus corpus auralis? Okay that might not be a direct translate you know what I compus meant, right?
Now, surely a Latin scholar – which you really fucking are, holy fucking shit, what are the chances?! – will be familiar with Virgil’s epic ‘In Librarium excretia’?
In the fourth chapter, ‘crappus satisfactorum’, Virgil beautifully and lyrically outlines the pleasure of an uninterrupted dump in the library, where the abundance and great breadth of free reading material is the mother of synergised learning?
Indeed, it is not until chapter eight, ‘forsan malodouris’ that we encounter a problem with the still, unmoved air of the library and how this leads to the prolonged endurance of signature poo smells.
It’s a wonderful work, imagine Pyramus and Thisbe except everyone’s naked and covered in each other’s shit.
You know I feel a little bit like Jamie Lee Curtis in A Fish Called Wanda. You’re John Cleese, and everytime you use Latin it’s like I’m climbing the rope in gym class.
Vah! Denuone latine loquebar? Me ineptum. Interdum modo elabitur. :)
I’m not a Latin scholar; I had some Latin at school so I get by.
I am not familiar with the works you mention, but I still think that the shitting in the library and related odours are unacceptable.
I never saw A Fish Called Wanda, never had an occasion. I think I need to catch up.
I read somwhere that Jamie Lee Curtis was born with both male and female sex organs. Can this be true? She has wonderful female boobies anyhow. Did you know her and Adam Ant were also an item. Don’t you ever, don’t you ever stop being dandy, showing me your handsome, don’t you ever….Prince Charming is the most interesting unique song to ever reach number one and the epic pantomine video was way ahead of its time predating MTV and all those shitty duran duran videos that get all the credit. Also Russell Brand and Johnny Depp owe a great debt to Adam Ant for fashion tips.
I don’t think you need to catch up at all, I think you’re fucking miles ahead. Like most guys, I find it sexy as hell when a girl lands me my ass in an argument and I think anyone can see I got the shit kicked out of me today.
I read your blog too, the post about Kurt Vonnegut is funny – you’re Polish? That’s some good English you got there girl, and I couldn’t give a toss if that’s patronising, it’s meant as a compliment.
You win, I quit, I’m off to lick my wounds.
YEAH! Now you gave me a great excuse to go off for a pint after work :) I’m sorry, there is nothing I love more than winning an argument and getting my ego stroked :)
Whoa! Bit of grace there sister! no-one likes a gloater.
I’m reading your blog here, it’s pretty cool, you should post more.
Very Noble of you to surrender MMN. I learned a long time ago to admit defeat when you’re arguing with women. JJCelery I imagine you’re a tough one to beat anyhow. God bless women especially the Polish variety.
I know, I know. Sometimes I can’t resist though… :P
All this battle of the sexes grandstanding has masked the injustice of today’s budget. Read the fine print, people. Women have gotten away with murder. A 20% decrease in grants for penis enlargement/straightening surgery, and a 20% increase in grants for boob enlarging/lifting surgery? Notice the gender-biased slight of hand?
And what of the 1% levy on testicles? The fat cats in government know well that most men have two (three in my case), whilst women generally have one or less. It’s an absolute disgrace. Ditto the new taxations on un-milkable boobs.
Well the jokes on them, because due to a rare genetic aberration, I can actually produce a teaspoon of milk (sour-tasted and green-hued as it is). Unfortunately, I have to drink ten gallons of water beforehand, and strain like I’m shitting an elephant out of my anus. Last time I demonstrated the feat, I burst a blood vessel and lost the use of my legs for a month.
irishbegrudger, too much information.
I think trying to imagine this just damaged my brain.
I’m not reading all the above.
Isn’t weird that the majority of famous cooks are men considering it’s a womans job?
there is nothing I love more than …. getting my ego stroked :)
Open goal!
JJ Celery:
I can tell you an even better way to save money on smokes.
Give them up!
I did so in 1992 and it was hard for about a week – no problem after that. Since I was on 20 a day and they will now cost €8,35 a pack, that makes nearly €3k a year – should cover a few trips to Poland, or say a couple of months at least in India, where you can get much nicer things to smoke for next to nothing.
By the way, I suppose you know the three things you need for a great evening in Poland are: a litre of Wyborova vodka, a kilo of Krakovskaya salami and a big dog.
Give them up!
Piss off!
maggot Says:
April 8th, 2009 at 7:50 pm
Give them up!
Piss off!
—
I just love your easy natural eloquence and sparkling wit, Maggot.
ROFLMAO
@ Peadar.
“Isn’t weird that the majority of famous cooks are men considering it’s a womans job?”
Distinguish between “famous cooks” and “good cooks”. In my experience, the majority of the latter are women.
The fact that so many more male than female cooks are famous says more about their self-promotion skills than it does about the quality of their cooking, not to mention the preponderance of male control in the media that largely determine who becomes famous and who doesn’t.
Maybe, but the majority of page 3 stunnas are women. How can this be?
Nigella could have gone either way!
DD Says:
April 8th, 2009 at 8:38 pm
Maybe, but the majority of page 3 stunnas are women. How can this be?
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LOL.
Indeed, and as the Rev. Ian Paisley pointed out, the RC Church can’t point the finger at anyone about discrimination. There are nearly 150 Cardinals – and not one of them a Protestant.
Come to think of it, not many women among them, either.
there is nothing I love more than …. getting my ego stroked :)
Open goal!
We all have our weaknesses :>
I can tell you an even better way to save money on smokes.
Give them up!
Yeah, this does sound like a great way of saving money, you know what, after this I will stop drinking and then I will save even more! I think stopping eating will push my savings even further and i seriously doubt I need all that toilet paper.
There are smokers who like smoking and don’t feel bad about it and I seem to belong to them. I don’t want to quit. I want to continue being a smoker because I chose to and I enjoy it.
So piss off. :D
There are smokers who like smoking and don’t feel bad about it and I seem to belong to them. I don’t want to quit. I want to continue being a smoker because I chose to and I enjoy it.
My heroine!
My heroine!
Caution, I’m addictive.
That is true, and you’ve a drink problem. I’m pretty much in love with you at this stage. Except for Bray. Still though, if you were really hot Bray might be manageable.
Are you hot? How hot? Proper hot? HOT hot? None of this ‘girls think I’m really beautiful’ bullshit now.
My mum thinks I’m really beautiful.
She took those photos of me:
Photo One
Photo Two
But I’m taken :P
Bugger, it ate the second link: Link Two
Can’t be that hot, she’s nearly nude.
What, you don’t believe it’s me? :D
It’s you alright, you have lovely eyes.
Now, don’t take offense here, but do you smile? Seems like a lot of Polish people don’t smile. Deadpan-dourness you guys have in spades, but smiling?
Tell me I’m wrong here, I want to be wrong.
Oh come on, MMN, nothing but expectations. Most people would sell their soul for me based on what you already know, but no-o, you need smilies.
Geeez.
What can I tell you? I’m very particular. How’s your spoken English by the way? I’m guessing you probably sound like a Bond Girl.
“Nie! ChJames! vee cannot make love in zero gravities… Moj stockings vill strangle us both!”
Hot. And smiles are a must, sweetness. Smiles are the best present in the world.
Ok, my manager says he will drop in smiles into the package but only if you pay by direct debit.
Russian accent is not an option, I’m sorry, I’ve been learning English since I was five so I tend to pick up accents from people I talk to :)
Yesterday I had a chat with this Scottish girl… I couldn’t get that accent off for hours.
Well you sound hot anyway, and I would definitely buy you a drink. That’s all I got.
JJ Celery,’
When I suggested to you that you could save even more money on smokes by giving them up than by smuggling them from poor countries in eastern Europe, I was just making a friendly suggesting.
It didn’t warrant a rude response like “piss off”.
However, if you prefer to replace the image of you that I already have, namely that of an insecure woman in need of approval, with that of an insecure rude bitch, then prozse!
Fintan,
1. it’s “prosze”.
2. “piss off” was not rude, it was said in a jokingly manner (or at least I thought it was) in response to your comment about maggots sparkling eloquence which I found funny.
3. I would argue about the “insecure” part, but yeah, I’m a bitch, happy now?
JJ Celery if that is indded you in the photos then you are a divine creature of epic proportions and your Ma’s a pro photographer too. Who cares if girls smile or not when they look that good and have ultra sexy accents. I hope the Poles colonise Ireland. They’re better looking than Brits and good Catholics too.
Well, we Polish women are apparantly just a bunch of insecure rude bitches . We only came here to steal your jobs and and smuggle cigarettes, that we shouldn’t even smoke in the first place, from a poor country in eastern Europe while we drunkenly stagger from one bar to another taking shapes of silly gooses or vegetables and punching men in the face.
Maybe you should be careful what you hope for.
Fintan,
1. it’s “prosze”.
2. “piss off” was not rude, it was said in a jokingly manner (or at least I thought it was) in response to your comment about maggots sparkling eloquence which I found funny.
—
1. Actually, I thought “prosze” was what I wrote. It was what I meant to anyway. You still haven’t answered my question about the three things you need for a great evening in Poland: a litre of Wyborova vodka, a kilo of Krakovskaya salami and a big dog. An oldie, but a goodie!
2. In my circles, “piss off” is rude, especially in response to what was meant as friendly advice. But I accept now that you meant it jokingly.
3. I’m not sure whether the rest of your comments are directed at me, but I think you should know that I have spent about 40 years of my life living in other people’s countries and hold dual nationality. I may even come close to the standard of multilinguality that you so often boast of – but can’t speak Polish.
As someone who has had a rather successful career in a foreign country, I would have to be the biggest hypocrite on Earth if I complained about anyone coming to Ireland or my other country of residence to work.
The same applies to all those Irish people who have relatives in America, England or Australia and now complain about people coming here.
3. I would argue about the “insecure” part, but yeah, I’m a bitch, happy now?
3. Fine, if you say so, and your extreme defensiveness does indeed hint at insecurity. I’m never happy because someone is a bitch; I feel rather sorry for them, because there has to be a reason and it probably has something to do with an underlying hurt.
You should also preferably speak for yourself and not generalise about “all Polish women” or imply that the picture you paint of you own lifestyle is valid for all of them. That kind of talk only reinforces national stereotypes.
How would you feel, for example, if someone tried to tell you that your closet case gay-bashing Gartenzwerg President was typical of all Polish males?
http://www.pinknews.co.uk/news/articles/2005-3768.html
Happy Easter to you and I hope it’s warmer than here.
morgor Says:
April 7th, 2009 at 9:58 am
A fete worse than Live Aid.
That’s the best pun i’ve ever seen on this blog!
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I agree.
Mind you, the great Flann O’Brien (Myles na gCopaleen) once famously described a garden party he had been to as “a fête worse than debt”.
Fintan,
I do not mean to fight. I merely enjoy a bit of verbal fencing, and everything I say said and will say should be taken with a pinch – or a barell – of salt.
1. I knew you ment prosze :) I actually appreciate the effort. Wyborowa makes me really sick and I’m a cat person, so I think I will stick to red wine, blue cheese and cats! (oh my God, I’ve taken on French habits!)
2. The other comment was a cynical summary of various things that have been said here and there and as everything I said should be taken with a pinch – or a barell – of salt, as I expected that to a sober mind it would be just grotesque and therefore, funny. It holds no truths about my lifestyle and is not intended as a statement about anybody’s lifestyles.
I find national stereotypes funny, as well.
3. In my circles making assumptions is rude. An assumption that I’m insecure made me a tad annoyed – and maybe I am, but if I want to hear that I go to a therapist. And suggesting I’m a bitch – well, that’s something I would probably punch you for. My underlying hurts are not for you to uncover, please, thank you.
Now, for the future, if you please, think twice about the fact, that you can’t hear my voice or see my face and therefore, what you read may have had a different tone in my head than it has in yours.
Happy Easter to you too… it’s nasty and cold over here, too.
JJ Celery:
I’m a cat person too, but my last two beauties died six years ago and now I have a wonderful dog – he was given to me as a birthday present.
The point about the vodka, the salami and the dog is that you give the salami to the dog so that you can concentrate on the vodka.
I was not suggesting you go to a therapist. It might do you – or me or anyone – some good – if only you could find a sane one!