The loneliness of the Dave
Posted on | April 3, 2009 | 11 Comments
Dirty Dave went away for a few days this week. He said it was to get away from the relentless depression of the recession. He went to Kerry somewhere. Checked into a B&B and unwound.
He read books, he took long walks, ate well, drank well. He avoided all newspapers, TV reports, radio bulletins and anything which would remind him of the perilous state of our finances.
He had time to think, to reassess what was important in his life. He came to conclusion that his life was worthless. That he was no good for anyone or anything. The crushing loneliness, which he was able to repress when in Dublin and surrounded by his friends, was overpowering.
Alone in Kerry, alone in a B&B with floral curtains and a cheap MFI Wardrobe, with a chipped sink and wonky shower, a small portable TV and a teasmaid, he realised that living was pointless. Drink only hid the problems, it didn’t make them better.
I got the call at around 7pm last evening. His checkout time was 12 noon. There was no sign of him. The lady in the B&B became worried and knocked on the door. There was no answer. At first she thought he was out and had been delayed but eventually she decided to use her master-key and try the room.
And that’s where they found him.
His attempts to seal up orifices had failed and somehow he had managed to superglue his face to the headboard. It took them 3 hours in Tralee General Hospital to remove it.
Stinking Pete is on his way down to pick him up.
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11 Responses to “The loneliness of the Dave”
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April 3rd, 2009 @ 9:39 am
You’re a twisted bastard. Don’t ever change!!!
April 3rd, 2009 @ 10:33 am
Three hours to remove his face?
April 3rd, 2009 @ 10:45 am
If I decide to end it, I want it to be as graceful and humane as possible. That’s why I keep a claw-hammer close to my bed.
April 3rd, 2009 @ 11:07 am
Suicide: the most obvious form of natural selection known to man.
April 3rd, 2009 @ 11:13 am
Heh.
They should leave the keyboard on so he has a reminder of the bad times when he gets back to all of his yous later.
What?
Oh…
April 3rd, 2009 @ 12:08 pm
surprised glue worked. usually need clean surfaces to stick together, and doubt either dave’s face or headboard qualified.
April 3rd, 2009 @ 12:59 pm
Floral B&Bs will do that to a man.
April 3rd, 2009 @ 1:27 pm
B&B curtains are like angels wings.
April 3rd, 2009 @ 1:46 pm
In Sanskrit, B & B literally translates to “the ninth circle of hell”. Those early Indians has their heads screwed on.
April 3rd, 2009 @ 2:10 pm
He needs a wife to motivate him.
April 3rd, 2009 @ 4:22 pm
Those early Indians has their heads screwed on.
glued on you mean