Amidst all the doom and gloom it’s good to know we’re still going to get the metro to the airport.
Yes, the same airport that none of us will be going to because we’re just too fucking poor to anywhere but Dollymount Strand for our holidays. Holidays? Haha. Those will be a thing of the past.
A few jobs will be created in its construction but no doubt some eastern-European labourers will get the gig because they can do it for tuppence twenty a week. Half the city will be dug up and in shite, you won’t be able to get anywhere while they repair all the shit that’s bound to collapse, and in the end the trains can whizz back and forth to the airport that nobody’s going to anymore.
Can you say ‘Elevator to nowhere’?
On the plus side, when the apocalypse comes at least we’ll have a place for the Feral Ghouls to live while the rest of us scratch about the surface avoiding slavers and Super Mutants.
Bout bloody time if you ask me. Start reducing surface traffic.
That will happen when people are forced to sell their cars for food.
It’ll take them years to complete. Then, when it’s finished, the dreadful realisation will dawn that the tracks will have been built too close together. So then they’ll dig the entire thing back up, rebuild it, and spend millions of Euro doing it. It’s going to be another M50. The idiotic government and it’s cronies have no foresight.
I was talking to someone who’d done research on this and found it would actually better value for money to build a dedicated bus corridor.
Not a shite bus lane that you have to share with taxis, cyclists and idiot drivers who can’t read road signs. An actual dedicated road just for buses (think the Luas green line beyond Charlemont – except with road instead of tracks).
Much cheaper and would carry as much if not more passengers.
Not so good for the Feral Ghouls though, the freaky bastards.
Let’s not try and sugar coat the situation now Twenty. We’re all fucked. The country is going down the drain. The dole lines are getting so long that people are starting to to bring deck chairs with them. And to top it all off, it’ll probably be a really shitty summer with loads of rain.
Yeah, this balmy spring warmth bodes ill for the summer.
And when you get off the Metro it’ll still be a forty minute hike to the Ryanair terminal.
I predict we’re going to have a good summer.
Woesinger – the problem is there’s no more space on the surface. Going underground is a good idea but we should built up and underground years ago.
Surely we should be building tunnels, not for trains, but for living in. Isn’t it clear at this juncture that surface-living didn’t pan out, and that we should be transmuting into a tribe of pasty-skinned, hunchbacked mole people who occasionally feed on their young?
I think the Summer will be good also,after the cold winter we had…
It’s gonna be a long hot summer.
of course those in the know will have bought the underground land years ago and made a killing.
Eerily like 1930s Germany -they suppressed the arts and build highways as well. Next up Cowen will be annexing South Armagh – he’s welcome to it – and talking about the Ethnic Irish abroad – Liverpook and Boston – being incoroporated into a réich
What Fill3rup said, every aged sage I know keeps saying it’s going to be a good summer after the looooong crappy winter, and since I’m in a glass half full sort of mood today I’m going to go with that.
Everyones unemployed,so it’s gonna be scorching.Burn the flesh off the people in the dole que’s.
every aged sage I know keeps saying it’s going to be a good summer
Talking Herbs? Wow..
Yeah, and when they’ve sold off the roofs on buildings to pay the national debt you can get sunburnt queueing inside too.
Last time I was on the dole, it was always raining.
Sometimes the rain was warm though.
That wasn’t rain, that was urine.
Soggy butcher vouchers. The good old days of near full unemployment.
Global warming eh
Join FF early. It’s for you own good.
It’s too warm now.
Skangers, like feral ghouls, love underground tunnels, so i’m goin nowhere near the poxy place without VATS and some sort of Chinese assault weapon.
It’s never to warm.We’ll get good weather this summer to apease the unemployed.Drunks wont vote in the local elections
Yeah it’s going to be a scorcher, with plenty of barbecues, beer & sex. Things aren’t that bad
Imagine the stuff you could hide in those tunnels.
the roof’s from the dole office’s
plenty of barbecues, beer & sex.
You and your family get togethers Peadar! heh..
heh
Yeah, ya can’t bate a good summers night on a halting site
Im new,whats the story with Peadar?
[i]Yeah it’s going to be a scorcher, with plenty of barbecues, beer & sex. Things aren’t that bad[/i]
No. It’ll be raining, another pork scare will pop its head up and the beer will be cheap, tasteless and warm.
Im new,whats the story with Peadar?
He BBQs his family then has sex with the charred corpses.
Oh Peadar, will you ever learn?!
Im new,whats the story with Peadar?
He’s from Wexford.
Im new,whats the story with Peadar?
They’re bullying me:(
Yummy, barbecued fillet of sister
culchie
Where’s Hugh when you need him?
What’s wrong with running a LUAS line down through the Port Tunnel?
It’s not like anyone ever uses it at the prices they charge at peak times (the only times anyone would ever get any benefit from using it)
Here’s a novel solution that those fat cats in government refuse to even explore. Instead of building a cave that runs to the airport, would it possibly be cheaper to move the airport closer to town? I’d say you could slap the whole lot on a couple of thousand pallets, and just plonk it all in Stephens Green.
You could provide jobs for unemployed builders knocking down high buildings in the area like the Shelbourne and the Stephens Green shopping centre. Maybe bring back the Dandelion.
It’s near the Grand Canal too. You could have a connecting barge from Tullamore to Leeson St. Problem solved, I think.
How about just flattening Dublin altogether?
We spent all our family holidays in Ireland. All great except for two weeks of rain in Donegal.
If anything we should have an underground rail system just for pride, all the other cities do…
Well, if it’s just for pride, why not fake having one? We could just have entrances descending to nowhere dotted around the city, to dupe the tourists into thinking we have an elaborate underground system. Should these camera-wielding poindexters try and use the subway, they’ll be told that it is closed due to an ‘unspecific threat’.
We could also hire actors to periodically walk down the steps, wait below for 5 minutes, and then walk up the steps, thus creating the illusion of bustle.
Excellent idea Irishbegrudger. But they’d have to change coats and hats before re-emerging. We’d also need someone with massive wind machine to create updrafts every five minutes and another guy with a rumble machine which goes along the sewers underneath the roads giving the impression of moving trains.
Bags not be him though.
The main question here is – will the metro trains be installed with roo bars in case any northsiders wander onto the tracks?
could save money on machines and just move mary harney up and down the sewers, train sized ravenous windbag that she is.
Excellent questions lads, but I think the most important factors will be…
a) – installing a machine to release a vague waft of urine upward from the foot of the staircases-to-nowhere. All subways smell like piss factories
b) – we need to get the media on board. Nobody will believe we have a subway if people aren’t (apparently) being mugged, raped, stabbed, beaten or killed on it. Each night’s news should be populated with “A woman was robbed and decapitated today at Chapelizod Subway Station” type stories.
both covered by the harney solution:
a) more of a stench than waft because no one has seen her minge in years, least of all her, and
b) the hse and government in general cover everything except except rape, and that’s not from lack of trying
Then I guess everything is falling into one nice, neat little package Porridge. Now we play the waiting game…
We’ll also need a suicide bomber, a Charring Cross fire (so ironic that name) and a film like Taking of Pelham 123 “Oh no, a broad”.
Is it true they’re goin to run it under ballyMUN ? There’ll have to be a lost luggage desk on the train if thats the case ….maybe an A&E car as well.
@Twenty – If you use the existing road network as a basis, there’d be no worse disruption than widening roads enough for bus lanes each way and a bit of re-routing here and there
There’d be disruption no doubt, but it’d still cheaper than digging a tunnel from Stephen’s Green to Santry.
Of course, the biggest hurdle would be Dublin bloody Bus.
We have a metro in the city where I live and it’s great to be able to get 10 km across the city in 15 minutes. Imagine that in Dublin! And it costs €2 for one hour’s travel, including transfers to buses or trams.
I doubt whether any of the city planners here have ever visited Dublin. If they did, they would either sink into hopeless depression or take seriously to drink.