“Those utter cunts up north”, said Jimmy the Bollix.
“Aye, shocking business. Don’t want to see a return to the dark days, blah blah blah”, I said.
“Of course not, but a policeman and a couple of soldiers? What are they thinking?”
“What do you mean?”
“Kill a policeman and a couple of soldiers and all right-minded people will think ‘You cunts. You make me sick. You don’t represent any of us. You’re just using this ’cause’ as an excuse to trigger panic and really you’re just on a power trip. You don’t give a shit about a united Ireland but you’ll take advantage of the havoc to increase your profits from your drug dealing, protection rackets and various other illegal activities’. See?”
“I do”.
“Sure, they might attract some disenfranchised youths, but it’s flies around shit kind of stuff. Birds of a feather and the birds are hapless fucking retards. But if they weren’t such a pack of half-witted, muttonheaded simpletons they’d have realised that there’s a much easier way to bring about widespread support for their pathetic little organisation”.
“Is that so?”
“Yeah. Think about it. What would make people forget their religion, forget which side of the newly opened divide they were on?”
“Booze? Drugs?”
“No, think Twenty. Think”.
“I’ve had too much Guinness. I can’t think on demand, just like that”.
“I’ll give you a clue. The enemy of my enemy. Sort of.”
“Hmmm, the enemy of my enemy … erm … if X hates Y but … hmmm … ok, if X hates Y and Y hates X but X and Y hate Z … then killing Z would make X and Y happy?”
“Bingo”.
“So if X are Republicans and Y are Loyalists, then what’s Z?”
“Eammon Holmes”.
“Eammon Holmes?!”
“Yes, Eamonn Holmes. These fucking idiots kill young soldiers, barely adults. They kill a married man with kids. It’s no wonder everyone hates them. But if they killed Eamonn Holmes, well, who could argue?”
“I know I wouldn’t. Are you sure it would work?”
“Why wouldn’t it? They kill Eamonn Holmes, all of a sudden they’re heroes to all and sundry. His corpulent spectre no longer looms over the people”.
“Ingenious”.
“Aye, they would be practically kings”.
“Practically?”
“Yeah, well James Nesbitt would still be alive”.
I was really starting to worry about where you might be going with this one, but then you struck absolute gold. Eamonn? Amen.
What about that “Now on The UTV,here Corrie” Julian cunt…
And Gloria.
And Gloria. And that Rankin Cunt.
Paddy Kielty? Jimmy Cricket?
So long as they leave Jim McDonald out of it, I approve. He’s a ledge(and a flah)bag.
And let’s not forget to include the Give my Head Peace ensemble.
Take them all out with a booby-trapped bomb.
Booby… he he he
THe Guy that invented thos Shopping Centre ads that were like a fucking plaugue in the 80′s and 90′s..
No Mercy..
I’d rather stick to things close to heart – that bloody grumpy and rude taxi driver who charged me 60 euro for getting me from Cabinteely to Dawson Street.
€60? And you paid it?
Its alright JJ,he was just being a Racist,its all part of the service.. Did he give out about Blacks by any chance?
I had to. Should you not know, when you get into the taxi you automatically agree to pay the fare. If I wouldn’t pay, he would have the right to take me to the Garda station of his choice to make me pay (true!) and I wouldn’t have the right to do anything about it.
But I complained to the taxi regulator (and that’s one thing that I’m damn good at) and they gave me the money back. Voilá!
Nice one JJ.. a result!
And Stephen Nolan. The fat cunt.
I said I’m damn good at complaining :)
I even complained to Topaz that their people on a gas station on Southern Cross road won’t give me cashback. They said it was a security measure and they promissed they’ll get an ATM.
I had to. Should you not know, when you get into the taxi you automatically agree to pay the fare. If I wouldn’t pay, he would have the right to take me to the Garda station of his choice to make me pay (true!) and I wouldn’t have the right to do anything about it.
Seriously? No matter how much they ask for?
Yep Peadar, You get in, you pay.
You have to pay what’s on the meter as per the customer responsibilities on the taxi regulator site:
“# Pay the correct fare in full, including booking fees;
# Give proof of ability to pay fare, or give a deposit, if requested by driver;”
And you have to pay no matter how high it seems. But you can always get receipt with all the details, so if you feel the fare is unfair you can complain. For example if the driver changed the tarrif during the trip when you weren’t looking, or if they charged you extra for something, or if they took a longer route assuming you don’t know where ou going.
Those cunts think they could get away with thievery!
Was there heavy traffic or some reason why it cost €60 to get from Cabinteely to Dawson Street?
Thing is,alot of people dont ask for a receipt and dont think to try and remember the taxi plate number..im not saying all taxi drivers are on the scam but there are a few there that do it,and im sure the same fella’s were the ones up the front at the taxi protest last week,cause now their not making as much out of scammin tourists from the airport.
I have relatives who drive taxi’s and they fuckin hate those cunts,because now,everyone thinks that they all do it..
Oh, throw in that beardy fuck who does that godawful show Give My head Peace. I think he’s on the Nordy version of The Panel as well. Same as The Panel but without the laughs (which is fucking saying something).
No, we got there in some 15-20 minutes. There was no apparent readon why he would charge me that. And it was early afternoon.
I have to admit he spoiled my evening, bastard.
Come on JJ – give a working guy a break. He’s been shafted left, right and center by cunts like Eircomm and FF and nobody makes them give refunds.
“No apparent reason”, sorry.
There’s a Northern Irish version of The Panel?
Well hold on Maggot, I’m working too and I barely make ends meet, why would I overpay by €20? I’d tip the man if he would be nice at least, but he was a grumpy bastard on top of all that. I have no patience for bad service. I work too hard for every penny I earn.
And by being foreigner I get people trying to shaft me all the time, thinking I have half a brain, apparently. Oh yes, here comes a cute young Polish girl, that’s gonna be easy! Well, over my dead body.
Come on JJ – give a working guy a break. He’s been shafted left, right and center by cunts like Eircomm and FF and nobody makes them give refunds.
You’re taking the piss,right?
JJ: Cute you say? heh
Girl, you say?
You are a girl ? Want to make €60 JJ ?
( sorry – Morgor made me say that! )
Oh,for christs sake..
Girl, you say?
haha, I was thinking the same thing.
I was assuming JJ was a male name.
Oh christ, here comes Maggot with another crush…
JJ’s a girl!
Fucking crappy slow satelite crappy useless retarded broadband.
I’m going to do some work
Oh my, I didn’t realise you didn’t realise I was a girl :) that’s amusing, I have to say!
I’m not THIS kind of girl though, Maggot!
I’m glad to hear it JJ – makes a change from the slappers and deviants that tend to hang round this place!
Speak for yourself, maggot.
I’m glad to hear it JJ – makes a change from the slappers and deviants that tend to hang round this place!
You may as well cancel that bulk order of rohypnol Maggot, she’ll never meet you.
You may as well cancel that bulk order of rohypnol Maggot, she’ll never meet you.
He still owes me the money though…
I’d rather have a cup of tea.
Oh come on Twenty – I saw that George Michaelnout the back hanging round the toilets – and Boy George was a regular until Johnny5 scared him away!
Oh, how I love the attention.
This is JJ:
http://tinyurl.com/dd5p6k
Blocked!! NOoooooooooooooooooooo……….
Good Lord – Ireland needs more Polish girls – beautiful and moral ? The dark ages are past.
Yeah, but I came here to steal your jobs, remember? :)
The vikings thought much the same but ended up staying! Take what you like – can you cook ?
We don’t really like work anyway.
Of course I can cook. And iron. And I’m good with the needle. And my cakes are to die for. And I speak three languages and earn my own living.
And I’m taken.
And my cakes are to die for.
Oh, you and Jo will have to have a cake-off then.
I nominate myself as the judge.
And I’m taken.
Drat! Mind you, I’m really looking for a woman with her own tractor.
Tell me about it maggot, so bloody hard to find.
Well, I don’t own a tractor but I do know how to use a scythe. And how to sharpen one.
Jesus..
I do know how to use a scythe. And how to sharpen one.
With the cake making capability that is good enough for me!
Fill3rup, Jesus can’t save you now.
Major am I barred from the Forum? Wont let me log in!
I love cute Polish girls, but I fuckin’ detest celery
Stipes, me too. Celery is a nickname with a loooong story :) It evolved in unexpected way :)
was it a ‘nine and a half weeks’ type story celery??
Not really, but bizzare enough :)
Major am I barred from the Forum? Wont let me log in!
I had to change the forum software – you should have got an email with instructions on how to change your password.
If not drop me a mail and I’ll sort it out.
Lads will yez leave JJ alone, it’s as if it’s turning into one of “those” sites. Twenty, do something about it.
Does anyone remember a programme on BBC in the 80s with a character called rude nasty Polish girl? She was cute too..
What sites are “those” sites,El Cuno?
I’ve no idea what you mean? heh.
I was going to do a google search for “rude nasty Polish girl” but decided it might bring inappropriate sites back for work . . .
Derek Davis.
“I’m a hungry Maaan”
I’m not rude or nasty.
I just have a strong feeling of superiority.
Some people mistake it for being rude and nasty, specially those who really are inferior and know it.
I’m definitely sarcastic, though.
No!!!
Evacuate Gerry Anderson, then nuke the fucking place.
The way one knows they’r on a plane full of people from Norn Iron is when all the engins fail you can still hear the whining.
Oh no. Cute AND Cake.
Jo is so over, the era of JJ has begun!
There’s yet another splinter group after starting up, they’re called ‘I Can’t Believe It’s Not The IRA’
diet IRA
patrick kielty
JJ is a cute Polish girl? Are we all bringing her out for dinner?
Nah, she cooks as well, WE’RE all staying in.
The way one knows they’r on a plane full of people from Norn Iron is when all the engins fail you can still hear the whining.
That is Scousers!
What about that “Now on The UTV,here Corrie” Julian cunt…
It’s “NOY” not “Now”. Can’t you speak Norn Ironish?
My apologies Hoopy..
“There’s a Northern Irish version of The Panel?”
Sorry Twenty, just saw that. Yes there is, and it’s fucking dire. No pretty ladies on it, but you get Colin Murphy again and they let him talk twice as much.
The Queen is dead, long live the Queen!
Noy, will ya guys get off me dinner? (and the dessert!) I never said I will let you eat it!
‘Rude Nasty Polish Girl’ – That was a character in “A very peculiar Practice” late 80s program with Peter Davidson as a doctor in a University medical centre. Rude Nasty Polish Girl was played by the georgeous Joanna Kanska. You can even briefly see her from around 23 seconds on in this youtuve clip http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AKKcWmhJR6Y