Which one are you?

You’re in the kitchen preparing dinner. A fantastic Rachel Allen recipe for gruel chasseur, because that’s all you can afford these days.

The radio is on. You hear an for a car company telling you that because times are tight, because people aren’t spending, because we need value for money, they’re selling a range of cars for €7,000 less than they were.

Do you think:

a) Wow! What a great bargain. I’ll certainly go out and buy one. Look at how much money I’m saving!!

or

b) You fucking rip-off cunt bastards from hell. Even knocking €7,000 of the price of the car you’re making a profit so we’re now supposed to feel grateful that you’re not bending us over and ripping the dry arse out of us. You can stick your fucking car up your dirty great hole.

I’m definitely a b man.

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37 Responses to Which one are you?

  1. SuperGrover says:

    yep. b for me.

    same when the good lady wife tells me how much she got off a pair of shoes in a sale…

    … i just think – so what was the profit margin before the sale?

    but i’m a scabby git

  2. Pete says:

    c) I cant afford a radio because I’m paying extortionate prices for cunting Eircom, ESB, mortgage and Cablewatch, possibly the worst television providers in the history of the state.

  3. morgor says:

    heh, definitely B.

    I take it this is the toyota ad then.

  4. Twenty Major says:

    Can’t remember which one exactly. Something to do with people carriers, perhaps.

  5. maggot says:

    A B Special ?

  6. Cupid Stunt says:

    B for me too. But it’s like everything. Surely a car dealer who can sell a car for 27 grand and get that money, would not be a car dealer if he sold it for 20 grand, he’d be a fuckin idiot. Get ma drift?

  7. morgor says:

    Surely a car dealer who can sell a car for 27 grand and get that money, would not be a car dealer if he sold it for 20 grand, he’d be a fuckin idiot. Get ma drift?

    Or the person who is spending 27 grand when he need only spend 20 grand is a fucking idiot.

    Problem is, there’s so many idiots that that becomes the norm and then a normal person comes along and says “i’m not paying 27k when it should be 20k” but the car dealer doesn’t give a shit cos there’s so many dipshits paying 27k for it.

    Naturally i’ve never paid more than 2000 for a car, but hey i don’t really need a car and i’m
    tight as fuck.

    Besides, trains are ace (as previously proved)

  8. Fill3rup says:

    Pete: Cablewatch?
    It sums up a picture of a Gothic styled Shadowy organisation who’s contract is non-negotiable and if you try to cancel,lots of horrible and scary things happen like in that fil “The Game”..

    By the way,im a B man,I cant/dont drive but the Car dealers have been ripping off people for years and also one Major Car dealer has been under investigation by CAB for the last couple of years because he was allegedly taking suitcases full of cash in exchange for motors..
    Laundering maybe,dunno but he’s sweatin’ like a rapist at the moment..the greedy cunt..

  9. Puerile Pish says:

    B is a definite.
    Colleague of mine just had a baby wanted a bigger car so went to UK and bought a 2006 Diesel BMW

    So including his weekend in London, Paying the VRT , the ferry etc etc he has made an actual saving of 8.5K based on what a well known dealer was offering in Dublin.

    Those cunts were raking it in in the good times to quote one dealer ” Discount? fuck no I could sell these cars for list outside the church on a rainy day, no way I am giving discount” The reply he got was choice and he lost the deal to a Northern Dealer.

  10. Conan Drumm says:

    B
    astards

    Local builders providers have just knocked their bath/jacuzzi things down from €1,049 to €499… which is probably a bit closer to the price everywhere else.

  11. Grow Up says:

    B all the way.

    I fucking hate car dealers.

    Every last one of them.

  12. Conan Drumm says:

    Hold on.

    What’s this Rachel Allen business, a case of “I only got it for the recipes”??

    Oh yeah.

  13. morgor says:

    I heard Rachel Allen was once a crackwhore.

    But don’t tell anyone I said. It’s a secret you see.

  14. Fill3rup says:

    Could you make that link at bit bigger?

    Try this:

    http://www.tinyurl.com

    Voila!

    http://tinyurl.com/dcz7mk

  15. Hangar Queen says:

    B…er…’man’

    Heard that ad.It’s more cringeworthy than most and that’s saying something.

  16. beady says:

    I’ve heard it said that only cockroaches will survive a nuclear cataclysm…

    I suspect there’ll be a few car salesmen crawling around as well…

  17. fatmammycat says:

    And Cher, Cher will survive too.

  18. Jo says:

    I’d be a B too. Except now I want a jacuzzi bath.

  19. SAm Crea says:

    This fucking place is buzzing today, think it must be all the B’s…

    Everyone would be a B, for a while and then start thinking to themselves,

    “Jesus 7 grand off eh?”

  20. Holemaster says:

    Second hand all the way. I’d never buy a new car, total waste of money. They’re only broken in after 20K on the clock. I bought mine five years ago for €700. It’s 21 years old, it’s fucking great.

  21. SAm Crea says:

    HM according to number 38 here you are in love with yourself, no?

    what HM likes/loves

  22. Jo says:

    Perhaps more in love with others of his ilk?

  23. Holemaster says:

    I never said it was a banger though. Just said it was old. Humpf.

  24. fatmammycat says:

    Classic, Holemaster, a classic is what you call it.

  25. Magoo says:

    What’s wrong with big links?
    I like big ones, me.
    Tinyurls.com is a great idea though,
    they should do that for other stuff too
    http://tinyurl.com/cjexa5

  26. Are you using a demi-glace base for your gruel chasseur base there?

  27. Twenty Major says:

    I’m not that fucking post, pcb.

  28. Jo says:

    HA, I just googled gruel chasseur because I’ve never heard of it, and the first two links that came up were for this post.

    Foiled, by the interweb.

  29. Fill3rup says:

    THey should have a site that makes the Url bigger..

    http://www.fuckingmassiveurl.com for example

  30. Jo says:

    I think he meant posh.

    Or post posh, it’s the new posh?

  31. maggot says:

    Anybody cunt enough to spend more than 5 grand on a car deserves all they get.

  32. Loco Lobo says:

    B.. as in:

    B…Bastard
    A…Auto
    S…Shithead salesman
    T…Thieving
    A…Ass hole
    R…Rat bastard
    D…Duplicitous Turd

  33. Brianf says:

    Yea, I’m going with B! That’s just the way I roll.
    your book arrived today. I’ll read it this weekend and let ya’ know. I loved the last one so I’m looking forward to this one.

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