I love travelling by train.
Last weekend I went to Cork by train. The first time I’ve gone anywhere in this country by train since I was about 10, I think. That obviously does not include the DART which I used to have to get with monotonous regularity to a soulless, grey behemoth of a business park which sapped the very life out of me.
Four years of my life I spent in that place. The grey skies, the grey buildings, the truly awful sandwiches from the shop around the corner.
My other DART life was going south all the way to Bray. Every day. From Westland Row or Tara Street to Bray. Off train. In work. On train. Tara Street. Westland Row. It was better than going north to that reclaimed land. Land which the sea wanted, which it infected with all the flotsam and jetsam, the used johnnies, syringes and pissshite decanted from the pipes.
You’ll have gathered I was no fan of that place. Sometimes I see it now and shudder. I feel for the people who have to work there because I know they’re suffering, like slow poisoning, that place will get them.
Anyway, I have strayed from the point somewhat. Train is a fantastic way to travel. I admit, I paid the extra and went first class. As I do whenever I take the train.
I can’t say exactly how different it was from the normal seats but I’m sure it was much emptier and emptier is good because there are less people to make noise, to cough and bark and fart and annoy me in the many ways that they do.
Has anyone who travels that Dublin > Cork route seen the treehouse about 15 minutes out of Heuston? Honestly, it looks better built than most of the paper-walled developments you see scrabbling for sales in the ‘burbs these days – and it’s in a fucking tree.
The rhythm, the clacking, the quiet, the psssshhht of doors, the watching, the reading, the listening, the arriving with aching and dare I say it, the punctuality.
Many went to Cork via Ryanair who declare bloggers and their blog sphere [sic] ‘idiotic‘. I like listening to Michael O’Leary, he amuses me, but Ryanair are the biggest shower of cunts on earth. And the main difficulty I have with them is that they transport you places by making you go really high up in the air.
Fuck. That. Shit. Up in the air is for birds, superman and seals who get hit out of the water by a killer whale’s tail. The rest of it is for fucking chumps.
I’m straying again. Train is civilised. Train is sagacious. Train is not plane.
Trains are ace.
I’m not sure about 3 s’s in pissshite, but I’m definitely with you on the up in the air bit.
The 3 Ss are necessssssary
Exactly.
I got the train up to Dublin last week.
here are some tips:
1. bring your own booze/coffee/food (the bar on the train charges about €5 for a can)
2. bring a laptop with games and films
3. bring big earmuff headphones
4. don’t travel on friday afternoon/evenings
A very relaxing journey.
I think I know the business park your talking about. and like your self, I was glad to get out of it. In fact, I don’t think I could ever work in a business park again. I much rather being in the middle of the city. Well, out in the middle of no where would be better but that’s life.
Actually, you should try the train to galway on a sunny saturday afternoon.
It’s got the same atmosphere as a good bar.
Morgor – I try not to go to Galway for any reason.
But you’re right about the accompaniments. I had newspaper, book + iPhone (films, music) and good company.
The only beer they had was Budweiser though. Bleurgh.
Darragh – it’s the kind of place that should be owned by Ryanair.
That tree house is amazing. I see it every time I take the train and just brood at the undoubtedly spoilt children who got to play in it.
I bet it has its own games room and everything.
Those new trains are great for when i bring my Laptop. The last 4 rows at the top of the carriage have powerpoints too..Excellent.
The gap to the platform in Cork is fucking lethal though,id say theres been some painful accidents caused…
Yeah, noticed that. And not a single utterance of:
“Mind … the gap”
Congratulations Twenty on reducing your carbon footprint.
I was in that ‘business park’ once Twenty, it’s a concrete neologism.
So, if Ryanair had a first class you’d use it?
What’s your problem with Galway? I’d rather go to galway than to the hellhole that is cork
Twenty Major, Ireland’s answer to Jimmy Saville!
Congratulations Twenty on reducing your carbon footprint.
I burnt a set of tyres in my garden before I left.
I was in that ‘business park’ once Twenty, it’s a concrete neologism.
hah, that’s good. And I wouldn’t go near Ryanair with yours. Or Michael O’Leary’s.
I just have no need to go to Galway. Ever. I was there a few times and it’s always full of students and people trying to sell you Anadin instead of E. Twats.
Maggot – yes, but less children sit on my knee.
Never flown RyanAir but they got brownie points for demanding the wheelchair Levy!
you traveled 1st class when you were 10? la-di-da
i disagree. planes are exciting. never get bored looking at the fluffy clouds. never.
even if, when listening to every sound of the engine, it seems to change or slow down in some way, i shit myself for a brief second, planes are still exciting. trains are fucking boring.
i like the dart between landsdown and o’connell though (haven’t been past o’connell).
http://tinyurl.com/btkkvd
Snap!
http://www.metacafe.com/watch/717099/train_crash/
Uh oh. I just started working in said business park (I think) afer spending 7 years travelling to the city center by train. Wouldnt go back to that for love nor money. Overcrowding, fighting for standing space let alone a seat, long delays breakdowns. Nah no thanks and fuck my carbon footprint!
Uh oh is right, Jack.
Fast forward three years. At Jack’s desk.
“What this?”, says Jack’s boss as he picks up the work Jack has been doing.
“This is what I do now“, says Jack.
Heh heh.
I am sitting in a Business park right now. I feel alive. Just.
Hey Twenty,
How many times, in the course of this blog, have you referred to someone or something as, “the biggest shower of cunts on earth”? :)
I ordered your new book. I hope it arrives this week.
Trains well I think it all depends on where you get them from. The last train trip I did was also the best one Toronto Ont. to Halifax NS. 1263.56 Km great trip got to see some lovely sites and the sky car was great to sit in…. worst Train Trip EVER salsburg to zagreb in a train car that the heater was on full blast and the cars were all full of drunk Germans and Austrians coming back from October Fest in Munich.. The whole trip all I could think was, my Grandpfathers didn’t kill nearly enough of these fuckers
Perhaps more than once, Brianf.
Red – you’re not in *that* business park though, are you?
The whole trip all I could think was, my Grandpfathers didn’t kill nearly enough of these fuckers
heh
Is this the treehouse you saw?(assuming you went to Cork via Okinawa)
http://www.weirdasianews.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/tree-house-japan.jpg
It’s really not too dissimilar from that.
Try sleeping standing up on the overnight from Paris to Munich while some dumb red neck American student ‘Doing Europe” tells you about his gun collection.
Or, having to leave the carriage for ten minutes on the Munich to Amsterdam trip so an Italian couple can have sex.
TGV isn’t bad though.
Red – you’re not in *that* business park though, are you?
oh I think I am Twenty. It is VERY near the dart line.
Red Leeroy, one stop north of Connolly?
that’s the one Jack
Lord help us.
Not with E****m, I hope.
Oooh, lets meet for coffee, I’m the one with the axe and maniacal grin shouting ‘Here’s Johnny!!’
Certainly not.
Eircom.Certainly not.
E****m, Me neither!
Phew.
Have no idea who else is out there these days. I think Digital were there and AOL and possibly Oracle.
I used to work for the beast Oracle. Then they told me to get out and gave me a cheque to do so. Redundancy before the recession. Who’d have thought it. Err I like trains too.
That would be E*** P**** Business Park?
Y*s.
H*H..
Its not the worst Business Park ive ever been in.. at least there are trees and ponds and stuff..
Have ever been in Shannon Ind Estate..?
Its like a hell made up of an English newtown and the landscape in the novel 1984..
Hopefully a 747 misses the runway someday..
I saw that treehouse today actually, on my way to the inland Port of Laoise. It’s like the ones in Robin Hood, Prince of Theives. Trains are splendid.
http://g.sheetmusicplus.com/Look-Inside/large/WB-7155ESMX.jpg
Or, having to leave the carriage for ten minutes on the Munich to Amsterdam trip so an Italian couple can have sex.
Did they ask you to leave or did you not want to watch?
I’ve never worked in a buisness park. I’ve driven through the City West one a few times and it looks like it would be a lovely place to work
It’s all relative. Trains, work…
I’m in *that* Business Park.
Did my first stint with E****m some years ago.
When a day’s work isn’t akin to having your skull pushed against a huge metal grinding wheel all day it makes the place seem almost pleasant.
Holemaster how did you keep from tossing the yank out the window???? Their all fucking nuts about guns Have you ever been to the states? I drove over the border into the US of A and all you can see are adds posters and buildboards with adds for GUNS and AMMO and Jesus its fucking scary.
Was the Italian woman hot? I mean come on free show right? LOL
Not having to get *that* ‘train’ in every day helps.
For a time I was getting it about once a week.
I would grit and grind like a 6AM raving gurner from stepping on to a carriage until the slight relief of the main road at the other end.
Guns are good. They’re wonderful things and you can’t have enough of them. Every house should have at least one to ward off unwanted and unannounced nighttime company. Guns make you free. Guns keep you free. They make burglers ex-burglers. Oh yeah! We love our guns. Pistols, rifles and shotguns. Bang, bang, your dead fucker, your jacking days are over. Now I’m going to give my heater a hug.
Loco,are you the editor of The Farmers Journal?
Thats a good editurial for this weeks edition..
But,replace the word, burglars, with Travellers..
Loco,are you the editor of The Farmers Journal?
Thats a good editorial for this weeks edition..
But,replace the word, burglars, with Travellers..
Nice to see you wrangled free of business parks. Business parks in general, and the middlemanagement harbringers of decking that rule that domain with limpwristed fascism will eat your soul daily until you’ve nothing left but the x-factor.
would some of you fuckers who work in technology companies in business parks ever do me a favour and invent a browser that allows you to click to a different link, and when you hit the “Back” button you are returned to the same point on the previous webpage. ie I dont have to go scrolling back down through the same 30 replies again to get to where I was..(like I have done about six times while reading this page)
I helped design that business park… I think it’s quite nice.
Did you ever work there?
God no, I have a lovely city centre office on Merrion Square. I have no idea what its like to work there. I do know that the buildings themselves, while simple and not award winning, are cutting edge and well designed. Unfortunately however the companies that own the buildings cannot be designed.
My friend Ana and I noticed that treehouse a couple of weeks ago. It is completely awesome. We discussed taking a road trip and going to the owner’s house (real house) and asking if we could play in it for a while. We decided we’d probably be mistaken for stalkers, though, and so we didn’t do that in the end. I am so jealous of it though!
tba – it’s the whole place more than the buildings. There’s just an envelopment (if that’s a word) of grey. Depressing. Lots of handy plug sockets though, there’s no arguing with that.
Martha – completely awesome is damn right. I should be too old to care about treehouses but I want that one.
Finished the new book on the train today. Very funny, keep up the good work.
Trains