Hilarious gangland killings

So another gangland murder in Dublin last night.

If a gangster is killed in any part of Dublin does that make that part of Dublin automatically gangland? It’s easy to point to the area around the Coombe and say ‘gangland’ but if two ne’erdowells are shot in Ailesbury Road would that make D4 gangland too?

I don’t think we should discriminate. And how far is the gangland radius? Within 1km of the killing? 500 yards? Anyone in the same postcode? Who gets to decide? I think I should decide then ensure that all Estate Agents have to identify a house as being in ‘gangland’.

For sale: Majestic 5 bedroomed home on a leafy D4 avenue, 200m2 garden with side-entrance, moat, orchard, swimming pool, lawn bowls green and wonderfully situated in the heart of gangland.

I did like the name of the pub that the bloke was shot in last night – ‘Grumpy Jacks’. I bet he’s even fucking grumpier this morning cleaning up blood and brains and guts.

Similar posts

  • No Related Post
Tags:

27 Responses to Hilarious gangland killings

  1. Sweary says:

    I’d buy in gangland. It’s because I’m fo realz, dawg.

  2. Twenty Major says:

    You so real gangland would move out.

  3. Conan Drumm says:

    Bijou gangland cottage, a steal at €200k.
    Sole Agents: Launder & Launder

  4. maggot says:

    Chez Nailerzz.

    Has lucky an alibi ?

  5. Fill3rup says:

    Remember where the General was killed?

    That wasnt Gangland for some reason..
    I think the criteria for being in Gangland is..

    1.under €500,000 value on most properties (falling steadily)

    2.You must be able to see your Neighbours driveway from your frontdoor.(which leads to point 3

    3.You must talk to your neighbours at least once a week (saying hello counts)

    4.You must know your Neighbours

    5.There must be a betting office, pub and/or corner shop within 100 yards of your house

    6.Not in Dublin 4

    These Criteria can be changed at anytime in accordance to the Sunday World scaremongering policy 1996..

  6. Fintan says:

    Good point, Twenty! I guess it’s all down to the clichéd language that so many “journalists” use. Why not just call it a “gang-related murder” even if it happens in Poxrock or for that matter the grounds of Aras an Uuactarán?

  7. Red Leeroy says:

    I had three shootings within a 1000 yards of my house last year, but I think the media decided it was ok just to use the term ‘North Dublin’.

  8. James says:

    I thought he was killed in a grumpy jacks? I’d be grumpy if I was a jacks. I wonder if anybody has been killed by a grumpy jacks?

  9. Twenty Major says:

    “And how did he die?”

    “It seems he met a cranky convenience”

    “I should have known by the way his cheeks were flushed”.

  10. Fill3rup says:

    Apparently he was Shat to death..

  11. Fill3rup says:

    The Landlord owns another pub too..

    The Angry Growler..

    Its on that greek island Lesbos..

  12. Walter Ego says:

    Heh, shat in the face. Nasty.

    It’s alright though. Not to worry. He was “known to the gardaí”.

    Journo speak for “doesn’t really matter a jot”.

  13. Sinéad says:

    Good to see you last night. Bizarrely, on the way home, there was a police roadblock very near where I live, so I figured they were looking for the dudes who did it. Mind you, it was midnight then, so I’d say they were long gone.

  14. Fill3rup says:

    Its definitely gangland look at the pick.. That road surfacing…hasnt been done in 50 years..
    Telltale sign really

    http://www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/breaking/images/2009/0219/224643_1.jpg?ts=1235049184

  15. Twenty Major says:

    Good to see you last night. Bizarrely, on the way home, there was a police roadblock very near where I live, so I figured they were looking for the dudes who did it. Mind you, it was midnight then, so I’d say they were long gone.

    Aye, you too. I’d say they were long gone but probably not too far away.

  16. Fill3rup says:

    They probably popped back into the pub for a pint after the shooting.. cheeky cunts

  17. Twenty Major says:

    Bloodweiser?

    Sorry.

  18. Lorcan the Lion says:

    At least if the Gardai caught them they could give them a good beating with their batons.

  19. Peadar says:

    And so you fucking should be.

    If the pint was to frothy they’d have to blow the head off it

  20. Holemaster says:

    I have a habit of jinxing things like saying something or other rarely happens and then it does, almost immediately. Two weeks before the snow, I told a recent immigrant that we hardly ever get snow in Ireland.

    Last summer I was dating a Chinese girl who lived in the Coombe. I was saying that it was a good place to live, very Dublin but pretty ok most the time. Within days there was a shooting and a pipe bomb around the corner from her house.

    We’re never going to get out of this recession. We’ll never discover oil fields off the coast.

  21. Fuznestle says:

    I live in Drimnagh.

  22. I tend not to tell people where I’m from anymore because they always ask me ‘is that near where that bloke got shot last night?’

    It’s doing wonders for my sense of mystique.

  23. off topic – the talk was ace last night. in terms of your claim about blogs needing passion. have a look. i´d like your opinion. i´m sure you´d like to give it! shooting myself in the head might have been kinder. oh well.

  24. SeanR says:

    our nextdoor neighbour had shots fired in his front door this week, sometimes being in gangland is a chore…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

You can add images to your comment by clicking here.