I just went into the kitchen to make a cup of tea and I have run out of sugar. This is clearly the fault of the supermarkets and the twisted sugar cartel which enslaves us all.
I’m now fully expecting the whole blogging world to get behind me and start a crusade for justice.
‘Sugar gobshites deprive man of sweet tea’, might spew one headline while others will spin into action making phone calls and threatening all kinds of internet retribution – “Don’t you know almost hundreds of people read us every day?!”
Of course I could just go to the fucking shops but where’s the fun in that?
Sugar in your tea, you are a true philistine peasant!
Heh..hate that..
Do you have a sexy neighbour to call around to and borrow some sugar from?
“…thanks for the sugar,by the way my 2nd book just came out… bom-bo-bom(cheesy porn music)..”
No, I have to say I probably have the unsexiest neighbours in the world.
Still though..a ride’s a ride.
Seriously, you haven’t seen my neighbours.
Hmm, I’m missing who this is directed at…. any hints?
I’m guessin this is a go at Maxi?
Stop stirring it sheepworrier!
See what I did there?
Sweet..
Heh.
We understand that you are trying, but we believe that you could be more outraged.
Please try again, and resubmit your justice crusade application to one of our people.
I’m guessin this is a go at Maxi?
Maybe he still has that duck stuck up his bum…
e mail me your address and I’ll post you some. Tea without sugar ? Unthinkable.
Use honey.
And when you’re out of jacks roll use white sliced pan.
This is why I drink wine. Wine needs so improvements or extra ingredients. You don’t even need a glass, really. In the afternoon anyway.
Paper sugar bags always have an emergency reserve of almost a teaspoon hidden in the folds at the bottom. Just take care not to rip the bag apart too energetically or the precious grains will end up on the floor, necessitating the use of a lady’s stocking as a filter on the nozzle of the hoover to trap them. This will result in a saving of 260 grams of sugar per annum (5 x 52), although any saving would need to take into acount electricity and the cost of stockings. Why not spend a while next 1 January simply stapling sufficient sachets to each day of your year planner? Or perhaps you use lump sugar?
So much to taking to the streets with your pitchfork to protest about property tax.
Just a giant teaspoon now, stirring, stirring.
Sugar will only give you worms.
Sugar will only give you worms.
Is that you Granny?
I thought you were dead.
You have a natural talent for impersonation, 20.
For a minute there I thought I’d logged onto Berk the Gobbler by mistake.
Good god – is there no better subject to occupy your time and ours than your dearth of sugar…..sure hope your new book has a somewhat better plot-line or the book-buying peasants will certainly be aggrieved…
It’s just too subtle for you, Gluey.
Subtle. That’s what it is alright.
in america, when you get the sugar then you get the money then you get the power then you get the women
…to make the sandwiches.
Eh,i just checked the Flikr photos there Twenty..
..who in the name of Seán Bán Breanachts nut sack is that guy Interfud?
Mad coincidence. I ran out today too.
I know it seems like the most banal frivolous and stupid coincidence and hardly worth mentioning, but if you consider (assuming you live alone as I do Twenty) the odds it’s actually almost noteworthy.
To be honest I wouldn’t bother to mention it but considering a renowned, published writer of two novels saw fit to post a blog about it…
What’s wrong with a trip to the shop for sugar…? Do you not have some of those sachets taken from coffee shops as backup?
I don’t think sugar is the point of the post,i’m just guessing of course..
ah, missed it originally. quite bocktastic.
PS : willies
FROM THE MASTER OF SUBTLY….I’M HONOURED!!!