I have run out of sugar
I just went into the kitchen to make a cup of tea and I have run out of sugar. This is clearly the fault of the supermarkets and the twisted sugar cartel which enslaves us all.
I’m now fully expecting the whole blogging world to get behind me and start a crusade for justice.
‘Sugar gobshites deprive man of sweet tea’, might spew one headline while others will spin into action making phone calls and threatening all kinds of internet retribution – “Don’t you know almost hundreds of people read us every day?!”
Of course I could just go to the fucking shops but where’s the fun in that?
February 13th, 2009 at 3:14 pm
Sugar in your tea, you are a true philistine peasant!
February 13th, 2009 at 3:14 pm
Heh..hate that..
Do you have a sexy neighbour to call around to and borrow some sugar from?
“…thanks for the sugar,by the way my 2nd book just came out… bom-bo-bom(cheesy porn music)..”
February 13th, 2009 at 3:15 pm
No, I have to say I probably have the unsexiest neighbours in the world.
February 13th, 2009 at 3:23 pm
Still though..a ride’s a ride.
February 13th, 2009 at 3:24 pm
Seriously, you haven’t seen my neighbours.
February 13th, 2009 at 3:28 pm
Hmm, I’m missing who this is directed at…. any hints?
February 13th, 2009 at 3:45 pm
I’m guessin this is a go at Maxi?
February 13th, 2009 at 3:52 pm
Stop stirring it sheepworrier!
See what I did there?
February 13th, 2009 at 3:53 pm
Sweet..
February 13th, 2009 at 3:59 pm
Heh.
February 13th, 2009 at 4:02 pm
We understand that you are trying, but we believe that you could be more outraged.
Please try again, and resubmit your justice crusade application to one of our people.
February 13th, 2009 at 4:22 pm
I’m guessin this is a go at Maxi?
Maybe he still has that duck stuck up his bum…
February 13th, 2009 at 5:16 pm
e mail me your address and I’ll post you some. Tea without sugar ? Unthinkable.
February 13th, 2009 at 5:41 pm
Use honey.
And when you’re out of jacks roll use white sliced pan.
February 13th, 2009 at 6:00 pm
This is why I drink wine. Wine needs so improvements or extra ingredients. You don’t even need a glass, really. In the afternoon anyway.
February 13th, 2009 at 7:00 pm
Paper sugar bags always have an emergency reserve of almost a teaspoon hidden in the folds at the bottom. Just take care not to rip the bag apart too energetically or the precious grains will end up on the floor, necessitating the use of a lady’s stocking as a filter on the nozzle of the hoover to trap them. This will result in a saving of 260 grams of sugar per annum (5 x 52), although any saving would need to take into acount electricity and the cost of stockings. Why not spend a while next 1 January simply stapling sufficient sachets to each day of your year planner? Or perhaps you use lump sugar?
February 13th, 2009 at 7:10 pm
So much to taking to the streets with your pitchfork to protest about property tax.
Just a giant teaspoon now, stirring, stirring.
February 13th, 2009 at 7:45 pm
Sugar will only give you worms.
February 13th, 2009 at 8:13 pm
Sugar will only give you worms.
Is that you Granny?
I thought you were dead.
February 13th, 2009 at 8:14 pm
You have a natural talent for impersonation, 20.
For a minute there I thought I’d logged onto Berk the Gobbler by mistake.
February 13th, 2009 at 11:13 pm
Good god – is there no better subject to occupy your time and ours than your dearth of sugar…..sure hope your new book has a somewhat better plot-line or the book-buying peasants will certainly be aggrieved…
February 13th, 2009 at 11:15 pm
It’s just too subtle for you, Gluey.
February 14th, 2009 at 12:06 am
Subtle. That’s what it is alright.
February 14th, 2009 at 12:46 am
in america, when you get the sugar then you get the money then you get the power then you get the women
February 14th, 2009 at 4:37 am
…to make the sandwiches.
February 14th, 2009 at 11:22 am
Eh,i just checked the Flikr photos there Twenty..
..who in the name of Seán Bán Breanachts nut sack is that guy Interfud?
February 14th, 2009 at 4:23 pm
Mad coincidence. I ran out today too.
I know it seems like the most banal frivolous and stupid coincidence and hardly worth mentioning, but if you consider (assuming you live alone as I do Twenty) the odds it’s actually almost noteworthy.
To be honest I wouldn’t bother to mention it but considering a renowned, published writer of two novels saw fit to post a blog about it…
February 14th, 2009 at 6:53 pm
What’s wrong with a trip to the shop for sugar…? Do you not have some of those sachets taken from coffee shops as backup?
February 14th, 2009 at 7:10 pm
I don’t think sugar is the point of the post,i’m just guessing of course..
February 14th, 2009 at 9:47 pm
ah, missed it originally. quite bocktastic.
PS : willies
February 15th, 2009 at 9:54 am
FROM THE MASTER OF SUBTLY….I’M HONOURED!!!