Monthly Archives: January 2009
I have weird mugs
Some time ago a friend gave me some very nice mugs. They’re good for all mugular requirements such as coffee, tea, Horlicks, Ovaltine and mugs of Jameson. However, a strange problem has emerged with one or two of them. Picture … Continue reading
Take That, David
“Here Twenty”, said Dirty Dave. “Did you hear that Simon Cowell did a series of X-Factor in Iran?” “Is that right?” “Yeah, and the bloke who won it … had to be a bloke by the way, women weren’t allowed … Continue reading
Things I have done since I stopped blogging
Some things I have done with all that spare time on my hands: Got a fever which made my brain stop working in English. My thoughts were shapes and to get to sleep I had to lie as if I … Continue reading
Some things I have done with all that spare time on my hands:
- Got a fever which made my brain stop working in English. My thoughts were shapes and to get to sleep I had to lie as if I were a compass (e.g – a bit of north sleep, a bit of south sleep). I think I was actually poisoned by a waitress in a Thai restaurant who took umbrage at me asking her to clean the table after the starter.
- I met a Chinese guy called Frank
- Starred in an arthouse film with Natalie Portman but it was lost to eternity when the director, who also happened to work in Bank of Ireland, had his laptop stolen which meant the film, and thousands of banking records, were gone forever.
- I went to Gaza and set off some fireworks that I bought off a lady on Moore Street. The phrase ‘We will never stop trying to kill you’, in Arabic, doesn’t seem to go down well with IDF soldiers.
- Walked around Dublin until it got too cold to walk anywhere and now I get taxis.
- Insulted a taxi driver by saying his Nigerian accent wasn’t as strong as some of the other drivers I’d experienced. He explained this was because he was from Sierra Leone.
- Finished Book II – including all the little fiddly edits.
- Enjoyed the Irish Sentinel
- Drank a lot of wine. And beer. And rum. And Jaegermeister. And bourbon.
- Fell into a pit, nay, a chasm, of despair when unable to enjoy the delicious pork products in Matt the Rashers. Matt’s famous breakfast just isn’t the same with pork products
- Wondered how the pork was poisonous one day and perfectly fine the next
- Attempted to have owls added to the Dangerous Dogs list.
- Goofed around on the Twenty Forum.
- Tricked Dirty Dave into rubbing his balls and anus with Deep Heat, telling him it was a soothing ointment for his itchy rash that he claimed no knowledge of catching.
- Saw a midget security guard
- Missed blogging
There was other stuff too but that’s not important … right now.