Monthly Archives: January 2009

And here’s another question….

…if you eat a bowl of vegetable soup (where the vegetables have been blended to make a thick kind soup), what percentage of the liquid would come out as piss and what percentage would turn into poo?

Posted in Blog | 22 Comments

Some Friday questions

You know when something ‘goes down the wrong way’ and it makes you cough and splutter? Which way does it actually go down? Because it seems to me there’s only one way and that’s the same way as the normal … Continue reading

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Thought for the day

You know, I haven’t got the faintest idea what a ‘brimful of asha’ is, but I know I don’t want one simply because that song makes me want to repeatedly punch myself in the throat until I die.

Posted in Blog | 37 Comments

A death sentence alternative

It’s certainly no lethal injection.

Posted in Blog | 7 Comments

That Roscommon cunt

I’m sure you’ve all read/heard the story about the wretched harpie from Roscommon who abused her children. Yes, she is a proper, unequivocal cunt but let’s find out who this ‘Catholic right-wing organisation’ was who supported her as she fought … Continue reading

Posted in Blog | 101 Comments

Giovanni Trapattoni on the radio

Has anyone heard the radio ad with Ireland manager Giovanni Trapattoni urging people to come and support the team against Georgia? I swear I’m not exaggerating even slightly but he sounds like Stephen Hawking crossed with the Count from Sesame … Continue reading

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I had a dream

No, not a stupid Martin Luther King dream, but a real dream. I was invited onto the Late, Late Show to, apparently, talk about my book. Anyway, after a couple of minutes of the interview it turns out I was … Continue reading

Posted in Blog | 32 Comments

David McSavage TV show

Did any of you watch Savage Eye, the TV show RTE have given to Ireland’s unfunniest man, David McSavage? I didn’t, because David McSavage is about as funny as having your eyeballs sliced open with a rusty blade while being … Continue reading

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It might be just me …

… but if I were in a train station and loud music started playing and then people started dancing around the place and I discovered later that it was all to film a commercial for a mobile phone company I’d … Continue reading

Posted in Blog | 37 Comments

I’d love it if a hippo teabagged Bono

So U2 played at the inaguration concert thingy for Barack Obama. Bono said “What a thrill for four Irish boys from the northside of Dublin to honour you, sir.” Seriously, what a fucking brown-nosed arse licker he is. “Oh Mr … Continue reading

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So U2 played at the inaguration concert thingy for Barack Obama. Bono said “What a thrill for four Irish boys from the northside of Dublin to honour you, sir.”

Seriously, what a fucking brown-nosed arse licker he is.

“Oh Mr Mugabe, how nice of you to invite us to your beautiful country. I’m gonna go out later and get me some of that good old cholera!”

“It’s splendid to be here, Kim Jong-il, and to see how impoverished the people of your nation are. Look at them, they’re so skinny! My friend Kate Moss would be spewing”.

“Hey, thanks to time travel it’s my real pleasure to be here at the Reichstag with you, Adolf. Do I have any matches? Sure!”

And maybe the Irish boys from the northside of Dublin might want to stick their Irishness up their holes until they start paying their cunting taxes.

Will Bono launch a wristband/coloured iPod campaign when Ireland becomes the Africa of Europe? People starving and giving each other AIDS with just a glance?

Will he fuck, the cunt.