I had a dream
Posted on | January 21, 2009 | 32 Comments
No, not a stupid Martin Luther King dream, but a real dream.
I was invited onto the Late, Late Show to, apparently, talk about my book. Anyway, after a couple of minutes of the interview it turns out I was completely set up.
Pat Kenny had notes from my blog posts of old and was saying “Do you remember when you said this about such and such” or “And what about the time you called so and so this that and the other”. Then, as I was sitting there, studio lights glaring less than the studio audience who were extremely hostile to me for some reason, he started to bring these people out from behind the scenes.
It was like ‘This is your life’, except it should have been ‘This is your twat’.
Each of these people then got a chance to berate me live on television whilst I sat there. After a while Pat Kenny said “So, what do you think about that then? It’s not so nice when people call you names, is it?”.
After a pause, I replied “Makes no odds to me and you are one small-time cunt for pulling this kind of shit”.
The dream then went to next day where the Irish Times front page headline was “Foul-mouthed blogger calls Pat Kenny a cunt live on air – nation outraged”. The Evening Herald said I was ‘worse than Tommy Tiernan’.
Then I woke up, smiling, content and heartily refreshed.
But all this morning I’ve been wondering, why don’t we have a proper opposite to ‘nightmare’?
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32 Responses to “I had a dream”
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January 21st, 2009 @ 11:08 am
Waiting on a call from the publishers then?
That sounds like a premontition rather than a dream though…
Make sure you have a few photos of Kenny off his tits on chaz in the Pink Elephant years ago (if they exist..ahem)
January 21st, 2009 @ 11:21 am
I have a very good (and true) ‘bad’ Pot Kunny story, I’m saving it for a fantasy like that.
January 21st, 2009 @ 11:23 am
My favourite dream was fighting zombies resident evil style.
Is it unusual to love it when there are zombies in your dream?
January 21st, 2009 @ 11:24 am
Morgor the Zombophile.
January 21st, 2009 @ 11:36 am
“Is it unusual to love it when there are zombies in your dream?”
not at all, it’s good training too, keeps you sharp, for when, you know, it happens.
January 21st, 2009 @ 11:36 am
We do have a proper opposite to ‘nightmare’.
The ‘Wet dream’. Were your boxers all sticky when you woke up?
January 21st, 2009 @ 11:38 am
You’re just so base, Peadar.
January 21st, 2009 @ 11:42 am
In your Dream The Daily Mail headline would have been.
“Paedo Migrant worker Twenty is worse than Isreal,Al-Que Ida and Tolerance all mixed together with Aids”
January 21st, 2009 @ 11:42 am
In your Dream The Daily Mail headline would have been.
“Paedo Immigrant worker Twenty is worse than Isreal,Al-Que Ida and Tolerance all mixed together with Aids”
January 21st, 2009 @ 11:44 am
oops
January 21st, 2009 @ 11:44 am
Please. No Pat Kenny and wet dream in the one concept.
It does sound prophetic, alright.
There was a lecturer in UCD who was apparently a member of a ‘militant outing group’ – he even outed himself militantly. Stood up on the LL show, back in the days of Gay Byrne, and came out on tv. He must have lied on the vetting form they give guests.
Maybe it’ll say ‘Are you Twenty Major?’ from now on.
January 21st, 2009 @ 12:17 pm
i’ve asked the missus more than once if she’d bump uglies with pat for 10k, she says no, for 100K? no she cries! what about sitting on his knee and shifting him for 5 minutes? conversation over/night ruined.
our fantasies are worlds apart mine and hers, worlds apart.
January 21st, 2009 @ 12:23 pm
So do you think we could replace Robert Redford with Pat Kenny in that Demi Moore film?
January 21st, 2009 @ 12:29 pm
You could replace a chair with Pat Kenny,i didnt know Moore was allowed make films anymore after her pact with the Devil didnt work..
Demi:”I’ve tried everything Satan,im just fucking useless”
Satan:”I did all I could Demi,here have your soul back,you’re on your own..”
January 21st, 2009 @ 1:10 pm
Demi:”I’ve tried everything Satan,im just fucking useless”
Satan:”I did all I could Demi,here have your soul back,you’re on your own..”
I think her crowning achievement was striptease, i didn’t find her attractive in it but i found Burt Reynolds amusing in it as the corrupt senator who walked around in his y-front and wellies covered in baby oil.
January 21st, 2009 @ 1:26 pm
The opposite to a nightmare is a morningstallion.
January 21st, 2009 @ 1:32 pm
You’re just so base, Peadar.
Thank you Sir.
I recall reading somewhere that some foods can cause nightmares. I think cheese was one.
Is there any foods that cause wet dreams. I haven’t had one in years.
Mine wouldn’t involve Pat Kenny though, you’re a sick fuck twenty
January 21st, 2009 @ 1:34 pm
Fuck it, thanks to you disappearing for a few months and the fucking forum, I’ve forgotten how to do italics.
January 21st, 2009 @ 1:50 pm
If
Ione were to have a wet dream afterI’veone has dreamt aboutmyones mother, does that makemeone sick?January 21st, 2009 @ 1:51 pm
I’ve forgotten how to do italics
You do them the same as anyone else…
You cunt them in the bastard…
January 21st, 2009 @ 1:51 pm
Then, as I was sitting there, studio lights glaring less than the studio audience who were extremely hostile to me for some reason, he started to bring these people out from behind the scenes.”
Was it a special extended edition of the Late Late?
January 21st, 2009 @ 2:02 pm
You sure it wasn’t Blind Date? You weren’t sat there next to those other miserable bastards Eamonn Dunphy and George Hook?
January 21st, 2009 @ 2:13 pm
I dont know about you Maxi but I definitely feel nauseous.
January 21st, 2009 @ 2:24 pm
I have an idea for a game show involving bigamists. It’s called ‘This is Your Wife’.
January 21st, 2009 @ 2:47 pm
Or one for Masochists called
Japseye with Jim Bowen..
“Bully!Tell em what they would have won”
Bully:”NOTHING,because you’ve been a naughty boy”
January 21st, 2009 @ 4:00 pm
i and /i in pointy brackets, Peadar.
Holemaster, a morningstallion sounds a bit like something else to me.
January 21st, 2009 @ 4:20 pm
The opposite of night isn’t morning. It’s day. According to Cole Porter.
January 21st, 2009 @ 5:01 pm
No Jo, that’s an Alarm Cock.
January 21st, 2009 @ 5:54 pm
You’re some muppet for just sitting there, Twenty.
Why not nut one berating cunt after another, like you’re fighting… I dunno, zombies or something? You could be like the next Steven Segal!
January 21st, 2009 @ 6:53 pm
All those nonentities should have considered themselves priveleged to be mentioned by you, Twenty, don’t mind Pat Kenny!
Do you think he’ll ever get the hang of this broadcasting lark?
January 22nd, 2009 @ 10:03 am
Ah Pat Kenny’s alright. Take him for what he is. RTE’s figurehead. Who would you prefer? Rick O’Shea? They’re all saps
January 22nd, 2009 @ 5:06 pm
i and /i in pointy brackets, Peadar.
thanks jo