I’d love it if a hippo teabagged Bono

So U2 played at the inaguration concert thingy for Barack Obama. Bono said “What a thrill for four Irish boys from the northside of Dublin to honour you, sir.”

Seriously, what a fucking brown-nosed arse licker he is.

“Oh Mr Mugabe, how nice of you to invite us to your beautiful country. I’m gonna go out later and get me some of that good old cholera!”

“It’s splendid to be here, Kim Jong-il, and to see how impoverished the people of your nation are. Look at them, they’re so skinny! My friend Kate Moss would be spewing”.

“Hey, thanks to time travel it’s my real pleasure to be here at the Reichstag with you, Adolf. Do I have any matches? Sure!”

And maybe the Irish boys from the northside of Dublin might want to stick their Irishness up their holes until they start paying their cunting taxes.

Will Bono launch a wristband/coloured iPod campaign when Ireland becomes the Africa of Europe? People starving and giving each other AIDS with just a glance?

Will he fuck, the cunt.

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57 Responses to I’d love it if a hippo teabagged Bono

  1. SAm Crea says:

    Hope your not paying taxes on your book income?
    Artistic buggery, and what not? Have you gone over the 200k?

  2. Elvis says:

    http://www.breakingnews.ie/archives/2009/0107/entertainment/mhsnmhmhgbkf/

    [b]Bono bored of being Bono[/b]

    You’re not the only one you short-arsed, scrotum-faced cunt.

  3. SAm Crea says:

    Did he not realize he was kind of being patronizing as the “zillionaire” poor north side lad, talking to the poor black kid from Hawaii who could now nuke the entire planet…

  4. hooronahonda says:

    So, Mr. Obama is up there with some of the all time greats? Hitler, Kim Jong Il, Mugabe. Christ, he’s not even been sworn in and already he’s condemned as a monstrous tyrant!
    Agree with you about Bonio though, those fuckers would sing at the opening of an envelope.

  5. Fill3rup says:

    It won’t do their Album sales any harm either…
    Oh,yeah,they have a new single out today..handy..

  6. Darragh says:

    You should read what is written over on their site. I think Bono writes it himself. http://www.u2.com/news/index.php?mode=full&news_id=2291

  7. roosta says:

    “And maybe the Irish boys from the northside of Dublin might want to stick their Irishness up their holes until they start paying their cunting taxes.”

    haha…classic.

    And true.

  8. Twenty Major says:

    ““This is not just an American dream,’ he said. “Also an Irish dream, a European dream, an African dream … an Israeli dream … and also a Palestinian dream.”"

    Get. To. Fuck.

    He is such a ponce.

  9. Whiskeyintheditch says:

    Northside boys with pseudo-american accents

  10. Mr Angry says:

    Why is everyone so excited about the US getting it’s first black president? Zimbabwe has had one for ages and he’s fucking shit.

  11. NEW YORKER says:

    I wonder will Obama and Bono do anything about the Irish Robbing, Begging,Hobo Scum that litters the streets of our great city NEW YORK, maybe they could send them to Arica.

  12. Fill3rup says:

    Only when The US stop fucking up the entire world and You learn to spell,will your request be even considered…

  13. Holemaster says:

    Arica is probably an LA suburb.

  14. Twenty Major says:

    Speaking of which I saw an ad for a prog on National Geographic tonight all about kids in LA gangs. Looks interesting.

    Tonight at 9.

  15. Holemaster says:

    The American Dream is, just that.

  16. Fill3rup says:

    I thought Ross Kemp had solved the gang problem in LA??

  17. Conan Drumm says:

    Cunting “there was an error” message has lost my comment twice. I blame Paul McGuinness.

  18. Twenty Major says:

    What kind of error?

  19. Monkey Balls says:

    Paul McGuinness once came into a shop I was working in and bought ALL the gay books we had. FACT!

  20. SuperGrover says:

    I’m not sure exactly what teabagging is and am not too keen to go looking it up in work.

    Anyone care to enlighten me? Preferably in verse form, just to brighten up my day.

  21. Fill3rup says:

    SG:

    Its when you insert teabags into the rectum with a broomhandle until the recipient pukes out a lovely strong cup of Barry’s….

    Johnny 5 told me all about it..

  22. Holemaster says:

    There was a young girl from Baghdad
    Who often would tea bag her lad
    He’d crouch with pants off, his balls in her gob
    Now that’s a tea bagging how bad?

  23. hooronahonda says:

    ‘I wonder will Obama and Bono do anything about the Irish Robbing, Begging,Hobo Scum that litters the streets of our great city NEW YORK…’

    …and who will clear Templebar of loudly dressed american tourists? (sorry, but americans are so inoffensive I couldn’t think of a vicious rebuttal)

  24. Holemaster says:

    You could call them fat cunts?

  25. SuperGrover says:

    HM – I thank you, Sir.

    Beautifully crafted and wholly educational.

    Might copy that one for the Valentines card next month. That OK?

  26. SuperGrover says:

    Filler. Fibber more like. I happen to know that’s a method for espresso making.

  27. Fill3rup says:

    Are you callin Johnny5 a liar?

    I’d prefer to see an Elephant ramming Tea bags up Bono’s hoop anyday of the week..

    Nice Poem though HM…you’re an Artiste…

  28. Fill3rup says:

    or a hippo,(but i cant see how the Hippo would get purchase on the broom handle)…..god im bored today…

  29. Holemaster says:

    You’re welcome SG, fire ahead, I’m sure she’ll love that.

  30. SuperGrover says:

    No doubt she will. Sexy and practical.

    Thanks.

  31. Jo says:

    I’ve just had an image of BOno at the Zoo, all frightened, peeping roundcorners nervously.

    I think it’s a bit muchto be associating Obama with all the evil mass murdering dictators, like hooronahonda says.

    And it’s good to see how nobley you’d all pay as much tax as you could if you were offered a way out of it.

  32. Titler says:

    I’d love to kick Bono right in his cunt.

  33. Monkey Balls says:

    Here’s the error;
    http://i44.tinypic.com/10mkcx5.jpg
    (I did the red bits.)

    And I’ve just gotten it twice in a row.

  34. Monkey Balls says:

    As I was trying to say;

    You young people, with your tea-bagging and felching and what-have-you, -You don’t know how lucky you are!
    In our day you were lucky to get a good fisting, and even that wasn’t always guaranteed.

    And we had to make our own butt-plugs out of the cork off the milk bottles too!

  35. Peadar says:

    I don’t think twenty was associating Obama with all the evil mass murdering dictators. I think he was just making the point that Bono is a two faced arse licking cunt. Or maybe he was.

    I sometimes get that error message as well

  36. hooronahonda says:

    I think the error happens when two people send in a post at the same time. The Forum-a-tron thingy cant multi-task.
    I was only kidding about Mr. Obama, he will probably turn out to be more like Abraham Lincoln but without the stupid tashless beard and the warts

  37. Monkey Balls says:

    I think that if you read the error you’ll see that the administrator needs to “view the Technical Support information.”
    Look at it again.

  38. Monkey Balls says:

    Sorry, not the Administrator, the Author.
    Get the Author to untick the box that says ‘Serve up an error if the commenter is a slow typist and has spent ages typing out a smart alec reply.’

  39. hooronahonda says:

    I almost understood all that.

  40. Twenty Major says:

    Peadar has it – it’s more about who Bono would associate with than any implication about Obama.

    Not sure why that error would be happening – it’s a different spam filter as the other one was causing that big delay when posting comments. Will look into it.

  41. size ten says:

    Americia is getting a new HouseBoy, Praise the Lord.
    Let me hear you, Praise the Lord,
    OH LORDIE.

  42. Twenty Major says:

    I’ve enabled the other one, the delay is back but the error should be gone.

  43. Jo says:

    It’s always the way.

  44. hooronahonda says:

    Arica? Americia? What next, fucking Atalantis?

  45. Conan Drumm says:

    error/delay

    It’s always a toss up.

  46. SAm Crea says:

    I’ve taken to doing a quick copy of comments in case the comment-a-tron loses it..
    But I’m very clever.

  47. Peadar says:

    Personally I prefer to delay and so does my girlfriend.

  48. Holemaster says:

    The computer says no

  49. Peadar says:

    The computer will say what it’s fucking told to say or else it’ll get cunted

  50. Fuznestle says:

    It’s a well-established fact that Bono is doubly incontinent. Ever see how big his arse looks? That’s his triple-layer sanitary protection attire. The Dutch give out man-size piss bags and hole wipes on the medical card, and that’s why he pays his few pounds tax there. Not because he’s a money-hungry dwarf cunt. Also, he can get the seams of his leather trousers welded at the piss nurse’s- otherwise he’d be squirting out at the sides like a three foot tall car wash. I hope this helps to clarify matters.

  51. Steph says:

    Is hating Bono a national sport in Ireland the same way hating Nicole Kidman is down here?
    As soon as I saw Bono being a complete and utter cringeworthy tosser on the telly, I thought, “Oh will have to see what Mr Major says about THAT” and you didn’t disappoint.

  52. Monkey Balls says:

    Where are you Steph? Wexford?

  53. Fill3rup says:

    I think she’s in Arklow…

  54. Steph says:

    Siberia actually.

  55. mags says:

    ‘Irish boys’my arse!….they are auld ones…grow up Bono

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