“I think I’ll have the duck. What about you, Galbraith?”

People who make airports worse than they already are need a good kick in the ringpiece. Like the Gardai who have been on an unofficial ‘go slow’ (I know, how ironic), since a €29 a day meal allowance was withdrawn.

€29 a day for a meal allowance? Where were they going for lunch, Chapter One?

€5 on an O’Brien’s sandwich and a coffee, maybe an extra euro so they could get a pack of cheese and onion, that’s about as much as I’d give them. €29 a day?!

So what they’ve been doing is checking everyone’s passport as they disembark, asking them questions, being all friendly and nice and if we need any further evidence this is a concerted campaign by the Gardai that is it. Since when are the cunts friendly and nice?

So huge queues build up in passport control and all because these guys don’t get a whopping meal allowance. Here’s what I’d do. I’d say ‘Hey lads, sorry about that. We shouldn’t have taken away all that money so you can add to your already protruding bellies. To make it up to you join us on this flight where we’ve got Michelin star chef, that cunt from Mint, to prepare you a fantastic meal’.

So they all get on the plane, you pay some sick-of-life pilot to fly the thing over the Bermuda Triange, plane disappears, Gardai disappear and that cunt from Mint gets it too. Simple.

I know there’s a lot of shit going on in the world at the moment but making people queue when they don’t have to is as low as it gets.

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37 Responses to “I think I’ll have the duck. What about you, Galbraith?”

  1. STIPES says:

    Tag says it all. Fat Pigs

  2. SuperGrover says:

    Yeah. Cunts. What’s all this allowance craic anyway? Same with the fuckin’ politicians and their expenses… can they not pack a fuckin’ sandwich or just use their wages to feed themselves with like the rest of us?

    Pig knacker mucker slimy cunts.

  3. Jo says:

    Pig knacker mucker slimey cunts!

    Ah, no, SG, why not let it out, say what you really feel.

  4. Conan Drumm says:

    Michelin 5-star doughnuts don’t come cheap.

    Civilianise the jobs, put the porkers on foot patrol.

  5. Fill3rup says:

    Shower of Cunts have a handy number .all they do is wave people through,as soon as something gets taken away from them ,they start doing their fucking Job thoroughly.. We are not dealing with Brain Surgeons here,just another load of fucking Jobsworths.. You think the cunts would be happy to be off the streets away from the “Bad Men”..

  6. they get a clothes allowance too.
    cunts.

    but in fairness they do have to shave every morning. I think I’d rather die than have to shave every morning. (i’m quite dramatic)

  7. Jo says:

    And giantly bearded too, it would seem?

  8. Fill3rup says:

    Morgor The Scruffy?

  9. I have mighty man-fluff. How dare you?

    Oh, did a bit of digging there.

    It would save about 137.5 million per year to take away this expense of the gardai.

    (http://www.cso.ie/statistics/garda_rank.htm)

    More than what would have been saved by taking away medical expenses from old people.

  10. Augusto says:

    Operation “Turtle”. If you keep on letting gardaí lay their eggs on the beaches, more of them will spawn.

  11. Hangar Queen says:

    I was full sure they asexually reproduced.

    I mean they’d have to……right?

    Weird…I think I’ve made a very similar comment here before.

  12. Jo says:

    Who, the Gardai?

  13. Monkey Balls says:

    C’mon now. The Gardaí here in Tallaght are great lads altogether.
    You wouldn’t catch us calling them cunts, fuckers, pricks, arseholes, or shit-stirring, ignorant, racist scumbags who fuck farm animals and each other.
    Oh no!

  14. Fill3rup says:

    At least Gardai in Tallaght would have SOME kind of excuse for being cunts, fuckers, pricks, arseholes, or shit-stirring, ignorant, racist scumbags who fuck farm animals and each other.

    Those workshy,jobsworth,Cuntmanglers in the airport have the cushiest number going and they are still not satisfied..I hope they get re-assigned to Mullingar as part of a inter-Traveller family relations task force..

  15. Actually just read the article myself :
    Apparently the immigration officers working at the airport get a €25 per week allowance.

    Where did you hear €29 per day for gardai?

    Previous rant of mine nullified…

  16. Twenty Major says:

    Sunday Times, dubious journal that it is.

  17. Twenty Major says:

    The ST said it was worth €6,000 per year depending on hours worked.

    Anyway, this shouldn’t detract from the main point.

  18. Hooronahonda says:

    Perhaps they are allowed this fabulous sum for all three daily meals? This puts a different face on the matter as it works out around nine euro per meal. This also pre-supposes the guards work a 24 hour shift approximately which is the timescale within which the average person eats the three meals. If this is the case I also assume at least one of these meals is spent with the family. Lets say the officer is married with 2.5 kids, thats 9 euro split between 4.5 people, works out just under two euro each (probably a bit more than that as the .5 person will not eat much).
    Jesus, the poor fuckers are living on the breadline! How do they cope on their pathetic wages?

  19. Fill3rup says:

    [i]I also assume at least one of these meals is spent with the family. Lets say the officer is married with 2.5 kids[/i]

    I was under the impression that the eat their young?

  20. Fill3rup says:

    im mixing my html now Twenty…CHEERS!!

  21. Hooronahonda says:

    They eat their young and still want the 29 euro?!?!? The fucking injustice of it all!

  22. SAm Crea says:

    Surely you wouldnt waste a plane like that without luring Tom Doorley on board too??
    As a lure I would suggest a Junior Rogets thesaurus, and a particularly “yummy” bottle of wine..

    (Morgor I missed the adjectives especially)

  23. itchybollix says:

    Just put a big feeding trough in arrivals for them; with a picture of Brian Rossiter; Terrence Whealock, a map of donegal; and a map of the phoenix park where all the donegal lot got promoted to. I blame templemore tutors, and the ministers of justice who have all refused to recognise that it’s not just a few bad apples; it’s the whole lot of them.

  24. Rosie says:

    i saw this, and thought of you…

  25. Holemaster says:

    “That Cunt from Mint”

    Oh he fucking annoys the shit out of me. Self obsessed angry bitter man. You’re a fucking cook man, now get in there and make me a sandwich and shut up.

  26. Twenty Major says:

    Yeah, Easi Singles on Brennan’s bread, you cunt

  27. SAm Crea says:

    He mistook salt around the Rim of the glass on his “Seoul Margarita” for Sugar, on the Restaurant last night..

  28. Hooronahonda says:

    I dont even know that the guy yet I instinctively hate him. Celebrity chefs are wankers, with the exception of Rachel Allen who is a milf.

  29. Holemaster says:

    Rachel Allen has an annoying accent. “Em jest gooing to pet the bans in the evin”

  30. Hooronahonda says:

    She speaks?

  31. Holemaster says:

    She’s speaks West Brit. But I think she’s Scandinavian. She went there on a cookery course and one the Allen boys helped her with her rucksack.

  32. fill3rup says:

    helped her with her rucksack

    Fnarr Fnarr…

  33. Jo says:

    Her accent’s not as bad as the weird Irish/English weather girl off Sky. Her mangledaccent andsparkly rictus freaked me well out.

  34. fill3rup says:

    Well she is from Laois…

  35. Twenty Major says:

    i saw this, and thought of you…

    Who’s worse – a hippie or a policeman?

  36. Holemaster says:

    At least you never get both in the same place for long.

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