Take That, David

“Here Twenty”, said Dirty Dave. “Did you hear that Simon Cowell did a series of X-Factor in Iran?”

“Is that right?”

“Yeah, and the bloke who won it … had to be a bloke by the way, women weren’t allowed … was a butcher”.

“Ok”.

“And he’s going to get a million Iranian pound recording contract”.

“I see”.

“They’ve just finished making his first video. It took some time due to his strict Muslimic code, or whatever”.

“I eagerly await its debut on MTV”.

“And he’s already recorded his first single”

“Fair play to him”.

“Guess what it’s called!”

“Halal-ujah?”

“Awww … you bastard”.

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43 Responses to Take That, David

  1. A truly appalling Twenty pun – sometimes nothing else will do – accept no substitutes.

    What an unexpected treat on a bollocky cold Thursday morning. Nice to see ya.

  2. Hooronahonda says:

    What the fuuuuhhhh…?

  3. Cupid Stunt says:

    Did he invite Halal-o magazine around to take photos?

  4. welcome back twenty ..hows bastard face and throat-ripper

  5. Peadar says:

    Now where the fuck am I supposed to do my dossing? eh? Here? The Forum? Both?

  6. Fill3rup says:

    You know the answer to that already dude…

  7. SuperGrover says:

    and i was just getting used to the forum. you trickster

  8. SuperGrover says:

    Apparently Damien Rice won Chinese X-Factor

  9. Peadar says:

    How do I get my gravatar from the forum to work on here?

  10. SuperGrover says:

    By not being a cunt. Ah well…

  11. Peadar says:

    But your one works

  12. SuperGrover says:

    Yup

  13. Darragh says:

    Ah shit. He’s back.
    It was good there for a while.

  14. Fill3rup says:

    SG:wasn’t that Damien Lice?

  15. SuperGrover says:

    No, you’re thinking of Flea, who won the Albanian one a couple of years back

  16. chuntzu says:

    The foul mouthed Irish answer to Bob Fisk, the King of bad puns and middle-eastern analysis is BACK! I, sob, really missed ya … gulp, ya bad cunchya.

  17. Conan Drumm says:

    I thought it was going to a cover of Paul Simon’s ‘You Can Call me Hal, Al’. The video would have sly references to 2001 – A Space Odyssey.

  18. Rob says:

    The palestinian version was called “Shellthejewsahhhh”

  19. Hooronahonda says:

    Dont get comfortable. As soon as the second book hits the stands we will all be dropped like yesterdays socks. I thought you got the haircut SG?

  20. Anfearbui says:

    Welcome back Twenty

  21. SuperGrover says:

    It’s a wig

  22. SuperGrover says:

    You’re a wog.

    I win.

  23. Holemaster says:

    Do I have to keep running in and out of the forum and over here to post comments too? I’m going to have to employ someone.

  24. Holemaster says:

    Oh and did you choose this Theme because it’s by Mike Tyson?

  25. Twenty Major says:

    It’s all a conspiracy. That’s all I have to say on the matter.

  26. 10 PARK DRIVE says:

    PEADAR. See, told you so. Also, quit your pissing and moaning. Hee!
    TWENTY. It’s been a dull fall/winter over here without your daily. I hope you are not just teasing us.
    EVERYONE. Happy New Year you cunts.

  27. Peadar says:

    Happy new year 10 Park Drive.
    Does Glueface and Dickhead Englishman know yet?
    I suppose they’ll find out sooner or later. Bollocks!

  28. Holemaster says:

    And don’t forget Fatcocksacker.

    I’ll see if I can call him up…
    Fatcocksacker. Fatcocksacker. Fatcocksacker.

  29. Jo says:

    Holemaster, you called on fatcocksacker before you mailed ME? sheesh.

    I think you should have all stayed away for a week to freak him out.

    So Twenty, that ‘I miss my blog sometimes’ comment the other day was actually a subtle message to go check the blog? Too subtle for me.

  30. Jo says:

    I see Monkey Balls is back from the dead, also.

    Welcome back, Monkey Balls, how was your holiday in the afterlife?

  31. SAm Crea says:

    What the fuck has this post got to do with Take That, thats false advertising, and I read right to the end and everything..

  32. SuperGrover says:

    Jesus, wasn’t there some Brian gobshite or something as well?

  33. Peadar says:

    It’s because 20 is Back for Good

  34. Twenty Major says:

    Christ, can we stop Candymaning all the old names so soon?

  35. Peadar says:

    Whatever I said
    whatever I did
    I didn’t mean it

  36. SuperGrover says:

    Candymaning? What the fuck is that? A word?

    Repressed memories bubbling to the surface. Have some sympathy.

  37. Peadar says:

    Who was your man that use to go on about the goats?

  38. Fill3rup says:

    Ah,aul Goaty Mcgruff… good times..

  39. Hooronahonda says:

    It should read – ‘Candyman’ing or possibly ‘Candyman…ing’ or even ‘Candymanning’. Hang on a minute will you, there’s somebody breaking down the bathroom door

  40. SuperGrover says:

    Oh, right.

    I was reading it like mane

    Candymaning

    I get it now

  41. Hooronahonda says:

    Its going to be really awkward flitting between this and the forum. You’re a fucker Twenty. This isnt doing my repetitive strain injury any good at all.

  42. 10 PARK DRIVE says:

    Question is; is 20 back full time and if so will he keep the forum going. Or should I say “Carry on.” Kumon 20, put us out of our misery. Ya cunt!

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