Things I have done since I stopped blogging
Posted on | January 7, 2009 | 24 Comments
Some things I have done with all that spare time on my hands:
- Got a fever which made my brain stop working in English. My thoughts were shapes and to get to sleep I had to lie as if I were a compass (e.g – a bit of north sleep, a bit of south sleep). I think I was actually poisoned by a waitress in a Thai restaurant who took umbrage at me asking her to clean the table after the starter.
- I met a Chinese guy called Frank
- Starred in an arthouse film with Natalie Portman but it was lost to eternity when the director, who also happened to work in Bank of Ireland, had his laptop stolen which meant the film, and thousands of banking records, were gone forever.
- I went to Gaza and set off some fireworks that I bought off a lady on Moore Street. The phrase ‘We will never stop trying to kill you’, in Arabic, doesn’t seem to go down well with IDF soldiers.
- Walked around Dublin until it got too cold to walk anywhere and now I get taxis.
- Insulted a taxi driver by saying his Nigerian accent wasn’t as strong as some of the other drivers I’d experienced. He explained this was because he was from Sierra Leone.
- Finished Book II – including all the little fiddly edits.
- Enjoyed the Irish Sentinel
- Drank a lot of wine. And beer. And rum. And Jaegermeister. And bourbon.
- Fell into a pit, nay, a chasm, of despair when unable to enjoy the delicious pork products in Matt the Rashers. Matt’s famous breakfast just isn’t the same with pork products
- Wondered how the pork was poisonous one day and perfectly fine the next
- Attempted to have owls added to the Dangerous Dogs list.
- Goofed around on the Twenty Forum.
- Tricked Dirty Dave into rubbing his balls and anus with Deep Heat, telling him it was a soothing ointment for his itchy rash that he claimed no knowledge of catching.
- Saw a midget security guard
- Missed blogging
There was other stuff too but that’s not important … right now.
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24 Responses to “Things I have done since I stopped blogging”
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January 7th, 2009 @ 8:50 pm
Glad to see you’re keeping busy, and not losing your mind at all.
At all.
January 7th, 2009 @ 9:28 pm
Withdrawal symptoms eh? Its not too late, if you apologise we’ll take you back.
January 7th, 2009 @ 10:20 pm
Come back 20, all is forgiven.
January 8th, 2009 @ 12:38 am
I agree completely with the Sierra Leone incident, but moreso with th ereasing of the irish sentinel. Top quality satire.
Oh and happy new year you cunt
January 8th, 2009 @ 12:39 am
I am sure that I edited that comment before sending.
Meh
January 8th, 2009 @ 1:48 am
Here we go again!
January 8th, 2009 @ 8:47 am
Good to have you back !!
January 8th, 2009 @ 9:32 am
What the fuuuhhh…?
January 8th, 2009 @ 10:19 am
Quitter.
January 8th, 2009 @ 10:31 am
Welcome back..
Didn’t take long did it?
January 8th, 2009 @ 11:15 am
so nothing changed then really?
January 8th, 2009 @ 11:37 am
I’d a few mates who caught a dose of scabies when they were students.
one went to the doctor to get a prescription.
handed him script for cream to cover all your body EXCEPT the tackle.
one of the lads got in late and asked ‘so what do i do ?’
“rub your balls with the cream” cried the chorus !
he had to sit for a night with his gear in a pint glass of iced water.
we going to see more of you 20 ?
January 8th, 2009 @ 11:44 am
No one ever truly gives up blogging. (Ancient Irish proverb).
January 8th, 2009 @ 12:52 pm
Thanks for the deep heat advice.
Works a treat.
January 8th, 2009 @ 1:44 pm
Well done, you fucking loveable cunt.
January 8th, 2009 @ 2:19 pm
No one ever truly gives up logging (Ancient Canadian proverb). Hi Conan, where the fuck have you been?
January 8th, 2009 @ 4:15 pm
Howya Hoor, I hadn’t gone away, you know. My cookies keep getting burnt/reset so the forum never really took hold on my machine… or similarly Ludditistic excuses.
January 8th, 2009 @ 4:43 pm
I see Chris P, forgot there was different settings on here…
January 8th, 2009 @ 9:14 pm
lemon Cello??
January 8th, 2009 @ 11:20 pm
Welcome back Twenty.
January 13th, 2009 @ 5:58 pm
are you back then?
the Irish Sentinel is crappy, chinese people cannot be called Frank.
January 13th, 2009 @ 8:05 pm
You’re back you fucker. Just when I thought it was cool to stop blogging.
January 13th, 2009 @ 9:07 pm
I just made you totally uncool, dude.
January 19th, 2009 @ 11:32 pm
[...] Twenty came back . I knew the cunt couldn’t stay away. [...]