Worried about the economy? Concerned about your future employment chances? Anxious about house prices?
Well don’t be. Fat Rick Moranis is here to save the day. That’s right. At Fat Rick Moranis’s Government Warehouse we have the answer to all your needs. World economy in meltdown, public concern growing? Fear not, just take a 3 month holiday, close your eyes and hope for the best!
Shortfall in revenue projections? Just bring forward the budget so you can screw people twice inside 12 months. But there’s no need to come back from holidays just yet.
Floods. Gangland crime. Hospital waiting lists. MRSA. The continued existence of Ryan Tubridy. Whatever your worry Fat Rick Moranis will make it right. He’ll take your mind off all the problems by making a hilarious boxing pose.
Look at him. Are you still worried about all those trivial things? Look at him! He’s making like a boxer. And the funny thing is, you know Fat Rick Moranis isn’t a boxer because he’s fat and Rick Moranis just doesn’t have the face of a prize fighter. If it were Fat Robert De Niro you might be a bit concerned still because although he might be fat you know he could land a punch or two. But not Fat Rick Moranis.
And if the boxer thing doesn’t work Fat Rick Moranis gives you his iron-clad guarantee to make you forget your troubles by doing his hilarious ‘I am the keymaster’ routine with Mary Hanafin playing the role of the gatekeeper.
So come on down to Fat Rick Moranis’s Government Warehouse. We’re open sometime in September until some time in early summer. Opening hours are … well, kinda random … but when we’re there we’re really there! Unless we’re not.
This message is brought to you by Fat Rick Moranis Ltd – suppliers of finest politicians to Leinster House since, erm, about 3 months ago.
hahaa, brilliant , love it.
‘Fear not, just take a 3 month holiday, close your eyes and hope for the best!’ — so doomed.
Honey I shrunk the economy?
Wow, you’re suffering comment cutbacks,it’s worse than we thought…
I just can’t afford to post comments these days, what with it being the 1970s or something
Post here while you can SG, the cost of 20 Major is gonna rocket come October.
Get the feeling we’re about to be shafted?
Fat Rick Moranis is good. We need the full cast of Ghostbusters filled out however.
He really does look like a fat rick moranis. Did you hear him singing the other day? It was bemusing stuff at some Fleadh in Tullamore.
Fat Rick Moranus… who ya’ gonna call? Ghostbudgets!
More to the point, I believe he also heads the cast of The Little Shop of Horrors.
But who? Who could possibly be Slimer?
WHO?!!!
I’m thinking of emigrating to Albania or becoming a reservation Irishman
Right, who’ll set the ball rolling on the ‘Send maggot to Albania Fund’?
Only if Jo joins me to play Jiggy back!
You can’t take Jo to Albania! This country needs cakes.
I don’t underrstand why Maggot wants to “trade up” and go to Albania. Quite a big step for a lowly Maggot. Cheaper to send him to Liverpool, and its only slightly downmarket compared to Albania.
I’ve been on to Rowntree’s, and they say that if we collect enough Kit-Kat wrappers, they’ll
ship the fsend maggot a ticket.Liverpool ? It’s full of perverts – I had a week end there in the 70s, ended up in a waterfront nigtclub that ahad all sorts of transvestites and ladyboys doing unspeakable things to each other on the dance floor. Not to mention Cilla, Keith Chegwin, Tony Booth, Jimmy Tarbuck etc etc .
The government has given 11 million to an American oil company called Marathon Petroleum that are worth over 21 billion, that should keep the Jews in handkerchiefs and the Kennedys in whores for the foreseeable future.
Ireland gets billions from the EU and waste it all.
No wonder some of the other EU countries want rid of them.
No wonder some of the other EU countries want rid of them.
-Really?
MMN:Harney will Have to be Stay Puft Marshmallow man
The government has given 11 million to an American oil company called Marathon Petroleum
why?
hmm an article about it here
article about it on my link.
damn your anti-spam protection
Morgor: i believe it a monetary cock suck, see also: shell,Intel,Dell (anyone see a pattern here?)
They all end with an ‘L’?
Marathon Petroleum doesn’t rhyme with shell, Intel and Dell.
Give us another clue.
Give us another clue who am i Chris Tarrant?
Maggot:you are right but the 3 i decribed to rhyme.although i wouldnt be at all surprised if Marathon Petroleum were connected with shell.
sorry ,ive been at the oxo this morning
I’m writing to Michelin man this afternoon abot my newly formed comany, Maggotel, asking for 10 million Euro to help me start up an Albaniam Jiggy back Holiday Agency.
Marathon Petrol… I think they’re called Snickers Gas in the states.
That went well
Did somebody say Mary Harney? Alright, alright. Liked Twenty’s post above and Cowen does look like a useless Rick Moranis.
As for the Government handing out millions to rich companies it’ll be because if they don’t then how the fuck are they going to convince Boards of Directors that ministers need non-executive directorships after they’ve finished plunderin- I mean, managing the economy?
And also those big companies, if they don’t get their hands on money for nothing they’ll all up sticks and take the tax they don’t pay in Ireland to other countries and not pay it there instead.
As the business media says, No Fucking Tax-Holiday, No Fucking Comment.
Twenty, you should have just called this blog “I hate Brian Cowen and I think he is a grotesquely ugly blimp”
That would be fine, your hatred of him is self-evident and he is a gruesome looking cunt, so no problems there.
However, you show little if any appreciation of politics / economics if you think that the Dail being closed started a recession and them coming back would end it.
Either you don’t know this, in which case you shouldn’t blog about it (leave that to the tabloid newspapers on a slow day, and Newstalk on any day) or you do know this, but are ignoring it because you needed to file some copy today.
Is Brian Cowen a fat useless pile of midlands shite? Probably
Can 166 various gombeens sitting around making “Yarr” noises and gurning at the cameras make a difference to our small, open economy. Probably not.
Another small point (I know this has gone on long enough enough, apologies)
Who do you think is angling for a dig-out to the construction industry (who could lower their proces the thieving cunts), the newspapers, who for the last 12 years have seen most of their income come from various property supplements and advertising, funded by…..The construction industry.
Property Developers, putting the cunt into construction since 1996….
Still things aren’t all bad, are they? I mean Irish women are much better looking now than they used to be, right? I mean that’s progress of a sort.
Still you don’t get any milfs in Latvia, just to follow up on em… yeah, they’re all hatchet-faced bruisers who look like every Russian gangster you ever saw on TV. Oddly enough the North of Spain has a similar problem. All the non-loaded women look like Antonio Banderas, or worse, Ben Stiller, with his massive eyebrows.
Speaking of massive eyebrows, what the fuck is up with the ‘Duchess’ movie poster featuring the massive caterpillars of Keira Knightley??? Maybe she’s got that thing where you get so thin you start getting hairy. That’s a ‘thing’, right?
It’s not really a ‘thing’, more an ‘optical illusion’.
I think the only “thing” that Keira Knightley has got is sheer fucking class. I think you should respect your elected government, the economy is in safe hands and even if it’s not you have all had years of unprecedented wealth under this government so what if you have to go short for a few weeks/months/years.
Mary Hanafin has just said that the unemployed in Ireland should seek further training, well I have just found the place to start that training, they are holding an open weekend on the 9th and 10th at a Donkey sanctuary in Mallow, good luck everyone.
Alfie, that was irresponsible, the kind of perverts that read this blog will be planning a trip to the sanctuary equipped with swarfega thanks to you.
Swarfega? It’s all ‘Marathon Petroleum Jelly’ ’round our way this year.
Welcome back Alfie.
…what’s it all about, Alfie?
(coming over all musical at the thought of swarfega and donkeys)
So, who’s up for a trip to Mallow?
If Brian Cowen is reading this he will be thinking
“Mallow…Mmmm, Choc Mallow….”
PP, I have seen some fucked up shit, don’t get me wrong, but a massive eyebrows fetish is a new one on me. You might just be able to pioneeryour own little corner of porn if you move fast and there’s not too many people who can say they pioneered internet porn. Think of the fun you could have with Brooke Shields.
http://imagecache2.allposters.com/images/pic/MMPH/247183~Brooke-Shields-Posters.jpg
Has anyone seen the price of carrots these days?
-I’m afraid I’ll have to curtail my visit to Mallow to a measly day-trip now. What a let-down!
I rang the donkey sanctuary and asked to speak to one of the animals, but the owner said he wasn’t prepared to put his ass on the line.
Christ almighty, don’t cause a Rick Moranis revival!
The Chevy Chase one was annoying enough.
Plus those shits getting revivals means Will Ferrell might get one at some point.
chevy chase did a revival?
DONKEY!!!
Do you do a revival or have a revival?
I will concede that gondolas aren’t poled. I scrutinised some pictures and they just have misleadingly long oars.
punts are poled though
Uncle Peter says:
DONKEY!!!
Charlie fuckin’ Chuck. I had comp[letely forgotten about him.
Like a cross between Fr. Jack and Eamon Dunphy.
Was that on the James Whale show?
someone else causes(does) the revival, the person involved has one.
chevy chase appeared on loadsa award shows and had cameos in several films early this decade
I loved Johnny Carson’s quote about Chase;
“Chevy Chase couldn’t ad-lib a fart after a bean supper”
I believe I was indeed DONKEY!!! on the James Whale Show, many years ago.
More recently though, I’ve been a regular DONKEY!!! visitor on some Vic Reeves and Bob Mortimer series that I forget the name of.
Or was I?
DONKEY!!!
Big Night Out?
Or punted…
Have you all seen Holemaster’s blog today? http://www.eskerriada.wordpress.com
Ireland’s economic problems are caused by rapid housing inflation and the fact that everyone wants a piece of that cake.
Over there.
Ever been to Albania Jo ?
Crikey – Good luck Holemaster .
Ireland does not have an economy, badly managed and badly spent handouts does not make an economy, even the HSBC bank are pulling out and those bastards thought hard about leaving Chernovyl.
Aye, all the best Holemaster.
Good luck HM.
agree with everything up ^^^^^ there.
Best of luck HM
Good luck, HM.
Hope it all works out HM.
What’s goin on with holemaster?
Brian Cowen became taoiseach at a difficult time. Cut him some slack.
Brian Cowen became taoiseach at a difficult time. Cut him some slack.
A taoiseach who wasn’t part of the previous government might deserve some slack – But with collective cabinet responsibility, Cowen is surely just as responsible as Bertie Ahern?
What’s goin on with holemaster?
Check his blog
http://www.eskerriada.wordpress.com
Speaking of Rick Moranis lookalikes and revivals, it looks like a sequel to Streets of Fire is being made, called The Road to Hell.
Co-incidence, or prescience?
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I hate that prig Tubridy too,Twenty. I used to listen to RTE in the morning.Not any more.
Just back after 4 weeks over there .Jaysus wept.What a mess.
4 WEEKS OVER WHERE?
just curious, cos I’m of somewhere and I don’t want to go there
This is ridiculous!
Somebody wake Twenty up, and tell him it’s not Saturday.
Oh! He’s awake!
Read this very slowly so it sinks in.
IRELAND. Gobshite.
Spliffo is a pity.
A pity thats running this gaff.
We’re doomed I’m telling yeh, doomed.
He’s on with Pot Kenny, right now…
Dont you all wish that Biffo,Bertie, the bankers, an the builders, were all together on a jolly when the IMPOSSIBLE happened:
Would anybody bother to throw the F*ckers a lifebuoy.?
I would throw them all a fuck*ing lead ingot.! Good riddance.
Dream on sucker!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e4HYXWjwZoM