Public transport of the future
Posted in Blog by Twenty Major on September 3rd, 2008
Judging by the rain that has fallen in the last hour we might want to give ‘Luigi and Sons, purveyors of the finest gondolas’ a quick call.
I’m off to set up a Gondola driver’s school. It’s a surefire winner.
They’ll need stickers with “How’s my oarsmanship?”
September 3rd, 2008 at 4:01 pm
Transport of the future? Shanks mare the way things are going.
September 3rd, 2008 at 4:02 pm
1
Can I just say I was reading today about a nineteenth-century boxer who used to get into training by entering pubs and spitting in people’s drinks, in the hope that they’d start a fight with him.
Could their failure to have done this be the reason Ireland’s boxers didn’t win gold in Beijing?
Just a thought.
September 3rd, 2008 at 4:03 pm
2
Why not, Dublin has a Grand Canal and a Rialto Bridge so you off you go.
September 3rd, 2008 at 4:09 pm
3
The test for a proviosonal gondolier license includes singing the Cornetto song
September 3rd, 2008 at 4:11 pm
4
………and charging 4 quid as soon as you step off the jetty.
September 3rd, 2008 at 4:16 pm
5
Its raining inside yer head you cunt, it is a beautiful day here..and no I am not in fucking Ibiza
September 3rd, 2008 at 4:20 pm
6
In Dublin the gondola would be a beat up old pedalo with some cunt calling you “bud” and overcharging you for the priviledge.
September 3rd, 2008 at 4:21 pm
7
True Story - Years ago Mayor Godfrey in Drogheda was asked if the local authorities would put Gondolas on the river as it would improve the look of the town and give it a European feel. His reply was “thats well and good putting them there but who was going to feed them”
The Montcrief hosted show “dont feed the Gondolas” took its name from this fable.
September 3rd, 2008 at 4:35 pm
8
Pattherat: I’d forgotten that one.. classic surrealism as only local Irish politicians can do.
September 3rd, 2008 at 4:37 pm
9
The fucking Dart would sink if you put it in the Liffey, for fuck sake.
Am I the only one around here prepared to observe the laws of physics?
September 3rd, 2008 at 4:38 pm
10
Unless it built up a fair bit of speed coming down Abbey Street and kind of skated around the corner and went off’ve a built up ramp next to the Bridge.
Might go in through the skylight into the Palace bar, though. Sure what harm. I’m up for an initial launch- anybody else?
September 3rd, 2008 at 4:41 pm
11
Given all the airheads I see/hear on the Luas, I reckon it would float OK.
September 3rd, 2008 at 4:45 pm
12
I thought we would be all using jet packs by now. Looks more like going back to pogo sticks to keep outta the puddles.
September 3rd, 2008 at 4:49 pm
13
You don’t have a jet pack?
Culchies, huh?
September 3rd, 2008 at 4:59 pm
14
I have a Jetta!
September 3rd, 2008 at 5:00 pm
15
When did all the roads in Ireland become dual carriageways, I have just driven 14 mile on a narrow country and 20 cars have overtaken me, I’m driving a twin trailer artic.
Thick bastards.
September 3rd, 2008 at 5:00 pm
16
Lorries and women drivers should only drive from 12 midnight to 6am the fucking nuisances!
September 3rd, 2008 at 5:01 pm
17
Think big! Think Everglades.
Just stick your old desk fan onto the back of a lilo with masking tape and you could be the fastest looter in the infamous Dublin floods of 2008.
September 3rd, 2008 at 5:24 pm
18
Dont you hate that in floods on the News. There is always some cunt going around the flooded street in a boat. Like “oh the fun I had”. You just know he was waiting eagerly in his garage for his moment of fame - the complete bollox.
September 3rd, 2008 at 5:28 pm
19
How’s my oarsmanship? don’t you propel a gondola by pole?
It would be ‘How’s my polemanship?’
Heheheheh.
September 3rd, 2008 at 6:06 pm
20
Quite, Jo, but a pole would never reach the bottom of those Venetian canals.
Aside: the German for “oarsmanship” is “ruderkunst”.
September 3rd, 2008 at 6:17 pm
21
Why is there so many Poles and Dublin fuckers in Co Cavan?
The locals want all the Dublin fuckers hanged from poles.
What a changed country since last January when I drove here last.
September 3rd, 2008 at 6:56 pm
22
You could just learn to swim?
September 3rd, 2008 at 7:20 pm
23
“A friendly welcome awaits you in Cavan!” -
source: http://www.cavantourism.com/html/activities.asp
September 3rd, 2008 at 7:23 pm
24
They don’t pole the gondolas in Venice, they skul, scull, skull,sc….Fuck it!
September 3rd, 2008 at 8:39 pm
25
In fairness, Boggle, the boats and the cycling through waterfalls look nice :)
September 3rd, 2008 at 11:29 pm
26
“How’s my oarsmanship? don’t you propel a gondola by pole?”
Jo - That’s a punt.
It would have advantages, however. Not least the name and associated rhyming opportunities for the cornetto-esque ditty.
A wan, a tyoo, a wan..tyoo..tree..for…..
September 4th, 2008 at 3:03 am
27
I was in Venice onect and those gondola peddlers looked like a shower of hard fuckers, abit like dublin taxi drivers. So the gondola biz should fit in well in dublin , they were rather expensive as far as far as I remember. So it all adds up
September 4th, 2008 at 5:33 am
28
Pattherat; great idea with the office fan taped to the back of the mammy’s old couch. Imagine if the knackers got hold of that idea, it would be like that film ‘Deliverance’.
I can’t wait ’till there’s windfarms everywhere experiencing theft and a whole load of beat up old hiace vans with huge fans on the back at horse fairs.
It’ll be windy in Mullingar.
September 4th, 2008 at 8:26 am
29
Ireland doesn’t know real rain.
I was in Bergen, Norway recently and it was raining.
I asked someone how long had it been raining?
“I don’t know,” she replied, “I’m only 15.”
September 4th, 2008 at 8:36 am
30
There is a big opening here for standby speedboats:
http://www.youtube.com/v/boqYEMI8kMw
September 5th, 2008 at 8:45 am
31