37 Responses to Musical truths – part 1

  1. Natalie Imbruglia is another one that sounded better than she looked. And yer wan from the Cranberries, Lorsha O’Riordan or somesuch.

  2. Hooronahonda says:

    Here’s another, Robert Smith cant sing.

  3. Twenty Major says:

    No, Dolores looks exactly like the hatched faced cunt she sounds.

  4. Bob Dylan- brilliant songwriter but should never have been allowed near a microphone. he sounds like a sick lawnmower.

    Madonna- can’t sing. If you listen she just does the old trick of shouting a bit louder in lieu of actually being able to hold a different note.

  5. I heard Dolores came over all Hollywood when the Cranberries got on telly with their first album.

    Bought a castle in Limerick and was promptly run out of it a year later for not carrying a knife like normal Limerickers apparently. Or acting the big-un. So I’m told. I admit it would have been easy with Dolores to be just the wrong side of cruel during lovemaking. Aye.

  6. Hooronahonda says:

    Macey Grey cannot sing either.

  7. Fill3rup says:

    not carrying a knife like normal Limerickers apparently

    ..hmmmm.. lazy n Lame Mrs o’sullivan

  8. Fill3rup says:

    That one Adel has a nice voice but looks like something off a Tv3 exploitation “documentary” on the obese…

  9. SuperGrover says:

    Shane McGowan can’t sing.

    Shayne Ward can.

    What’s your point?

  10. Fill3rup says:

    her songs are shit mind..

  11. Fill3rup says:

    ‘not carrying a knife like normal Limerickers apparently

    ..hmmmm.. lazy n Lame Mrs o’sullivan’

    Sorry Fill, its just that I’ve never loved Limerick. Do you want me to lie?

  12. SuperGrover says:

    The girl from soft lounge-jazz covers band Nouvelle Vague has a great voice and turns out to be a cutie.

  13. Direct quote from a sound technician with access to the closed loop the Spice Girls used to ‘mime’ (moan?)into- ‘It was like listening to a bag of cats screeching’.

  14. size ten says:

    Shayne Ward, another inbred Plastic Paddy Knacker from Scumchester.

  15. size ten says:

    Madonna can’t sing but her cunt speaks for it’s self.

  16. Holemaster says:

    The new James Blunt is Fionn Regan…

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pj66XgK3NvE

    The last word in each line is….. delayed.
    Oh how unoriginal that…… is.
    And all his stuff sounds the….. same.

  17. SAm Crea says:

    My lazy-eyes-dyslexia caused me to read that as:

    “The lead singer of The Stone Roses sounded much cuter than she actually was.”

    weird..

  18. maggot says:

    Twenty – did the man turn up this morning and did everything go OK with the toileting ?

  19. Twenty Major says:

    I had a good poo and the man arrived eventually, so it all worked out. Apart from him being a tardy cunt, like…

  20. Barkmulch says:

    My brother was always playing that song by the sundays where she talks about gettin’ her cherry plucked for the first time..drove me mental I have to say. I was listening to Iron Maiden at the time so…y’know…touché.

  21. Jo says:

    Hmm, he sounds more than tardy. Tardy sounds like a little bit late. Half an hour plus a poo is a lot late.

    Robert Smith? Can’t sing? Oooooo, I won’t have that. May you be struck down with something , hoah.

    Dolorous O Riordain… ugh. I can’t even think about it.

  22. Jo says:

    something unpleasant I meant to say, but maybe ‘something’ is more scarier in its infinite possibilities.

  23. maggot says:

    I’ll bet that was a relief!

  24. redleeroy says:

    alison goldfrapp, nice voice. dissapointing on a google image search.

  25. B'dum says:

    The Sundays gave birth to half the godawful music played in supermarkets!

  26. Monkey Balls says:

    But hey, what about Tracey Thorn from Everything But The Girl?
    -When it comes to ‘singers born for the radio but definitely NOT for the TV’, that one takes the (dog) biscuit.

  27. Twenty Major says:

    Oh man, poor old Tracey. She’s no Arthur Mullard, that’s for sure.

  28. manuel says:

    that is so very true……thank fuck for goldfrapp who looks as sexy as she sounds…..

  29. maggot says:

    Debbie Harry ruled OK.

  30. brenjamin says:

    Natalie Imbruglia is possibly the most beautiful singer ever.

  31. Fred Freegan says:

    The one from 4 Non-Blondes, she was hot.

  32. Holemaster says:

    Yeah Fred, still into the recycling then?

  33. Holemaster says:

    Nouvelle Vague sounded sexy and all French and cool and spliff smoking even though it was all re-recorded 80s alternative and we all knew that. And we were right, it’s probably just Sony BMG trying new ways of getting our money…..

    http://www.nouvellesvagues.com/shop/FR_boutique02.htm

  34. Fill3rup says:

    Sorry Fill, its just that I’ve never loved Limerick. Do you want me to lie?

    Of course not,lies make the little baby jesus cry,but i would have thought reinforcing a lazy stereotype was way benath you.. maybe not..

  35. Ianoo says:

    Natalie Umbrella is flupping lovely. In fact she looks far more lovely than she sounds and that is saying something.

  36. Sinéad says:

    Ah yes angel-voiced Harriet Wheeler, although I think a lot of boys liked her, based on scenes I saw at a gig of theirs years ago. They played the Tivoli and the show had to be stopped at least once due to crushing and general fanaticism. A late teen/early 20s indie boy near me spent the gig wringing his hands, sobbing and constantly wailing “Harrr-iiiie-etttt!”

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