Speckled eyeballs
Posted in Blog by Twenty Major on August 25th, 2008
I have spent the day painting ceilings (they get a bit yellowed with all the smoke, don’t you know). However, I believe I should have worn some kind of goggles as my previously captivating hazel eyes are now splattered with white bits.
I’m going to let the paint dry then scratch it off with a pin.


No, leave them as is and join Opus Dei like that fella Paul Bettany in The DaVinci Cod.
August 25th, 2008 at 6:29 pm
Fishy
August 25th, 2008 at 6:34 pm
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Opus Dei - Live is life, na na na na na
August 25th, 2008 at 6:45 pm
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“White Eyes, burning like fire…”
August 25th, 2008 at 6:47 pm
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I hope you wore a hat too. Ceilings are bastards
August 25th, 2008 at 6:49 pm
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A blowtorch is much more efficient?
August 25th, 2008 at 6:58 pm
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That paint will never come off Twenty, your eyes are fucked for ever.
August 25th, 2008 at 7:11 pm
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redecorating the cistine?
August 25th, 2008 at 7:12 pm
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I’m going to let the paint dry then scratch it off with a pin.
that should do the job, but it would have been better to wash them out with white spirits before it dried
August 25th, 2008 at 7:25 pm
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This mademe laugh out lod, but now it’s like watching clips of Spongbob running on his eyeballs.
August 25th, 2008 at 7:55 pm
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Smoking around the rooms so the yellow is even works for me.
August 25th, 2008 at 8:03 pm
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Oh my god, my eyeballs are burning from my own acid typos
August 25th, 2008 at 8:07 pm
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It’s all in the finger action Jo.
August 25th, 2008 at 8:17 pm
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Give yourself a white-spirits eye-bath Twenty. Much more efficient. Guaranteed to blind you mind…
August 25th, 2008 at 8:58 pm
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http://www.lecraic.com/2008/08/21/jimmy-magee-beatbox-legend/
Sorry ,it has no connection to the post but i had to share..
August 25th, 2008 at 9:13 pm
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@spag hoop bwahahaha
August 25th, 2008 at 11:37 pm
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Jesus your eyes must be like two of those Caffrey’s coconut snowballs.
They say it was the paint spatters that made Michelangelo go blind and all. Is your ceiling anything like the sistene chapel?
August 25th, 2008 at 11:57 pm
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A wirebrush and dettol will put em right
August 26th, 2008 at 12:27 am
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I’ve this huge fear of needles in eyes and such, this compulsive image sometimes jumps into my head of a nailclippers cutting the poppy-out bit of the eye and can make me get sick.
Thanks.
August 26th, 2008 at 2:00 am
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Nothing sensible to add - just wanted “Tish” to come after “B’dum”.
Would you not use a razor blade instead of a pin? That way the gouges in your cornea would be evenly distributed in a “peeled” kind of way as in “keep yer eyes peeled” and thus easier to see through.
August 26th, 2008 at 4:02 am
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He’s got speckled paint drip eyes.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_-RdAzkKlXY
August 26th, 2008 at 4:07 am
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Leave the paint there - to you it will look as if it’s always snowing - all your Christmasses will be white.
Your mates in Ron’s will look as if they have anti-freckles.
And Mary Harney will look (more)like Mr Blobby.
August 26th, 2008 at 7:19 am
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repainting the cistern chapel more like, an angle grinder with diamond tipped wheel’s your only man. You seem to have a weird eye fetish , ” wooden ebdien eyes “
August 26th, 2008 at 8:00 am
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Cool. Is it like you’re looking through a cheap kaleidoscope now?
August 26th, 2008 at 8:03 am
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The speckles appear to have melted into my eyeballs during the night.
August 26th, 2008 at 8:45 am
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Twenty was going the wrong way about it. A wire coathanger with a blob of tissue on the end held there by mammy-spittle would do it.
You go through the roof of the mouth, give a good shove and jiggle the wire about energetically.
DO try this at home. Particularly teenagers. It works especially well on them.
August 26th, 2008 at 9:03 am
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God BO’S that made me laugh out loud-and mammy-spittle! The great cleanser before all those antibacterial wipes destroyed our kids’ immune systems. Also good for sticking on bits of cut-out artwork that fell off the page. You’d probably get your kids taken off you now if you tried wiping thier snotty faces with a spitty hanky.
August 26th, 2008 at 9:13 am
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It was mammy-spittle that saved Apollo 13. Everyone knows that.
August 26th, 2008 at 1:09 pm
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You’re right Batty. I think it played a big part in the 1916 Rising too. Hey, shouldn’t mammy-spittle be harvested, possibly carbonated, labelled ‘Ballyoulwan’ and sold as a light refreshment on hot Irish summer days?
August 26th, 2008 at 1:45 pm
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Are you now living in a polka dotted world?
August 26th, 2008 at 4:26 pm
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Twenty is Polish?
August 26th, 2008 at 6:42 pm
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Whaaa!
For once I don’t find this funny. I spent six hours at RVH having my eyes checked. Scratched cornea is PAINFUL!
August 26th, 2008 at 9:09 pm
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