Dogs are cool

I read a story in the paper this morning about some bloke in America who committed suicide by shooting himself out in the desert. His faithful dog stayed with him for 6 weeks, protecting his body from coyotes and other body eating desert animals.

The poor old dog survived by eating mice and rabbits and was dehydrated and thinner than Keira Knightly after a three day enema but generally all right. She was reunited with the family and, apart from the husband being dead and all, everything’s good again.

See, dogs are cool. I know that if I ever shot myself in the desert and Bastardface was with me then he too would protect my corpse from predators. Mostly because he’s one smart fucking dog and he’d know that while mice and rabbits are good for the eating it’d be much less bother to simply devour me to keep himself going. And I would not object. It’s the circle of life.

I remember one time when I was living outside of Dublin and working late at night. I had about a twenty-five minute walk to get home and at that time the roads were pretty much deserted. One night I had just left work and crossed the road when a large black dog appeared by my side. At first I was a bit nervous because he was almost as big as Bastardface but he fell into step alongside me, walking with his head almost touching my right hip.

And we walked, the dog and I, the whole way up the quiet, dark road. He didn’t look up at me once, just kept his head straight and never broke stride. If I sped up, so did he. If I slowed down, so did he. At the top of the road there was a little alleyway into where my house was. I went down the alley and when we got to the top of it he stopped, looked at me, then turned around and went back down towards the road. I never saw him again.

Now, I have no idea what was going on. Perhaps he was a lonely dog who just liked to walk alongside people, perhaps he was a protector dog who, for whatever reason, was there to keep me safe on the way home. I know it sounds a bit weird but the whole thing was a bit weird. Especially the way he turned around and went off with himself when I got home.

On the other hand Stinking Pete once got bitten right on the cock by a Jack Russell so some of them are proper little cunts.

But most dogs are cool. They’re certainly better than Albanians and nobody can argue with that.

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This entry was posted on Thursday, August 14th, 2008 at 8:57 amand is filed under Blog. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

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