Avoid town tonight, Leaving Cert results are out, teenagers will be pissed.
Cue hand-wringing stories in the newspapers which will probably end up with closing time put back to 9pm and pubs closed all weekend as the kids run amok (like they do every year and have done every year since ever).
Some girl in Kerry got 9 A+ grades. What an amazing achievement, what more can you say?
Fucking swot, that’s what.
Bollocks she did. The leaving cert these days is about as difficult as spelling your name correct at the top of the page.
A maths prof revealed last year that the LC maths paper of 20 years ago would now stump his degree class in university.
Grades inflation is not an indication of children getting smarter, because as Bebo and Ugg boots indicate, they’re actually much stupider than previous generations.
It’s actually simply an indication of how easy the tests are becoming.
So the Celtic Tiger cubs will all be out on the piss tonight, celebrating getting into UCD Orts or some similar course for dole-dodgers.
Splendid. Maybe the cops could do some work and lock up a few of them.
Having said that, obviously it’s easy lay night for any old perverts game enough to join in the mass Smirnoff WKD binging.
Nice one, loads of easy sluts. Like taking candy flavoured drink from a babyfaced Bebo-er.
Making my fake taxi plate as we speak.
At least there’ll be less Foxrock bitches with their Champagne and Coke binges this year.
and big hair
There was a warning in the freesheets this morning, saying that anyone who preyed on drunken teenage girls would be caught and held responsible, or something along those lines.
So that means ‘using your real name’ is out the window.
Shit! thats a whole morning on Bebo ruined MB..
“Hundreds of men called John were accused of taking advantage of drunk teenagers last night…”
“Making my fake taxi plate as we speak.”
Ye durty bollox. I’d do the same only I don’t think a bike would pass as a taxi.
Twenty, I’m sensing some hostility toward this intelligent young woman who has obviously studied her ass off for the past six years in anticipation of these exams. Go on. Let it all out. We’ll listen… and not laugh….. I promise!
The best leaving cert student ever is that hot blonde chick who got 600 points in last year and promptly went on to become one of Ireland’s first homegrown page three girls. Tits out and all. Can’t fucking remember her name mind you, but take that Germaine Greer.
Tomorrow’s red tops will be filled with pictures of knickerless young wans having the shit frigged out of them by blokes who are as likely to puke on them as felch their own jizz back out of already-knackered teenage snatch. Undoubtedly the Mirror or Sun will run with ‘Disgusting’ or ‘Leaving certIFIED!!’
Anyone who does any studying is a swot, Darragh.
MMN, funny that you say ‘frigged’ instead of ‘fucked’ but still wrote the rest of it!
That’s like ordering a Supersize Big Mac meal with a diet coke.
I never swotted in my life, hence the fact that I’ve hard to work twice as hard and slog through the ranks and take twice as long to get where I would have been 10 years ago otherwise. OK maybe 5 five years ago.
Frigged is a nice word though.
Yeah it very felching.
I failed my Leaving, was made repeat, got a few more marks, went on the scratcher, formed a band.
And look at me now… oh
As they say on the net and stuff – +1 for frig
“Anyone who does any studying is a swot, Darragh.”
Does that include the Racing Post twenty?
Poll on Irish Independant (online) as of 3pm Irish Time 52% dont want Irish Abolished for Leaving Cert.
Pog my F’in Hoin is all I say to that.
Do you think there’ll be much fingering tonight, Twenty?
The best leaving cert student ever is that hot blonde chick who got 600 points in last year and promptly went on to become one of Ireland’s first homegrown page three girls. Tits out and all. Can’t fucking remember her name mind you, but take that Germaine Greer.
Is that your one that was on Faillte Towers?
Imagine, she found it hard to get a charity to take any money she might win because she’s a topless model. There’s a still alot of backward people in this country.
A topless model who does charity work, sure who wouldn’t love bringing her home to their ma
No doubt about it, CoA
I think my Da would be more appreciative if I brought her home than my ma. Especially if she got her norks out.
Holemaster – I’m going to just not bother today.
She seems pretty nice though that booby wonder girl.
I can understand the charity thing though, it’s a bit literal really and think of the women who’ve had breasts removed, I mean come on, do they really want to be reminded of it?
“Holemaster – I’m going to just not bother today.”
I win then?
We could have a competition to see who can ride the must drunk leaving certers tonight, actually today. The first of them are probably drunk already. That’s a big window of opportunity, from now till about 4 tomorrow morning.
Boys don’t count MB
I can understand the charity thing though, it’s a bit literal really and think of the women who’ve had breasts removed, I mean come on, do they really want to be reminded of it?
Cop on! What do they do every day of the week? Walk around trying not to notice that other women have tits?
Anyway it wasn’t just breast cancer charities
Smack of a razor and I could get my plump little man-apples on Page 3 easy peasy.
Just saying.
But I’m too posh.
What do you think Nonny?
I burned my old school books the day I got my results, then had to repeat three subjects.
Mam “Where’s your books?”
Me “Em…..”
Go on Nonny, your bursting to say something, go on go on go on go on
Feck off
“Smack of a razor and I could get my plump little man-apples on Page 3 easy peasy”
Page 3 of ‘Ripley’s Believe It Or Not’ i presume SG?
” burned my old school books the day I got my results, then had to repeat three subjects.”
Sent into the 2nd-hand schoolbook at the top of the stairs in Talbot St. for the replacements?
No on my bike and up the Rathfarnham shopping centre, depressing and with my own money too.
‘Honeytraps’, now, is it?
Oh christ..
Leaving Cert my arse. ‘Cumming Cert’ they should call it.
That last message from ‘Nonny’ was actually me just arsing around. Sorry.
Well I’m not really sorry I just wanted to see what would happen. Which is always my parents’ excuse for me.
Shit, she heard me.
Whats a honeytr… ah never mind
Ahhh, Nonny, you didn’t hold out for long. That doesn’t show a mighty will, now.
Ashite, Batty, O Sullivan. Though I’m glad, fair play to Nonny, now.
That wasn’t me. Notice the fake link same as Batty’s usual childish efforts.
While we’re seldom off the subject, what is it with Irish Nurses?
They are all ‘butter wouldn’t melt’ when they are at home in Ireland but over here in London they are like Amazons starved of human contact.
I shared a house with three lads and at one time each of us was ‘seeing’ a different Irish nurse from four different hospitals in London.
So we compared notes. I still can’t get one out of my mind- she was like a combine harvester in the bed and a bloody great ugly crucifix on the wall over our heads.
And hospitals always keep the nurses residences as hot as the feckin hospital. Stifling. Particularly when you are being ‘harvested’.
That wasn’t Nonny. Less of the impersonation, please.
Nonny says:
That wasn’t me. Notice the fake link same as Batty’s usual childish efforts
Unless we’ve all gone ‘Nonny’ I suggest you have just been made to break your silence. Cuilin amhan to Batty.
Sorry
Twenty, what’s the rule on Impersonation? Or are you frantically writing a FAQ or something? Heh.
The rule is it’s gay.
I don’t mind being gay. I’m not actually a homosexual but don’t knock anything ’till you’ve tried it I say.
It’ll be some time before I try it though.
9 A1s, impressive, she’ll be straight to the front of the dole queue.
Ooohh, get her!
My Nonny dance worked. Now for the Fat Cock Sacker dance…
ooooh ummmm ba ba ba fat cock sacker…. fat cock sacker…
“The rule is it’s gay.”
Have you no shame? What apout that poor pooing tramp you’ve been making a living off?
He’s not really pooing is he? Is he really a tramp?
Yep, he was shot and dumped into the canal after the photo
Jesus, maybe it’s actually him…
never thought of that
ewwwww
The rule is it’s gay.
haha
He’s the oldest competitor at the World Twister Championships Jo.
“Is he really a tramp?”
My mistake Jo. Clearly an accountant.
“Yep, he was shot and dumped into the canal after the photo”
Yep, he dumped and was shot into the canal after the photo.
I think you’re all aware how obsessed with wedding dresses I am, but you should really listen this time
I thought you were saving it. You just want all the boys to like you. You could say the same of her.
Classy girl. That guy looks very familiar, where is that?
It’s your brother, Holemaster.
My brother looks like one of the boobs.
Yeah, he’s a right tit, before anyone says!
I can’t stop opening that up. I don’t find them at all sexy, it’s just, they’re, I don’t know.
I don’t find a bride with her tits out sexy either. Would they be sexier if she wasn’t a bride? I don’t know why I feel stuffy about it, I mean if it’s what you want…
The thing is, I suspect it’s a mistake. Doesn’t it look like it’s a full bodice that’s just slid forward, and she hasn’t noticed? In which case, I just want to cry for the poor girl.
I wonder did her dad give her away?
I was thinking of the priest’s reaction. You can imagine the pool of drool there’s be here.
I’d say she’s a knacker, there cloths never fit properly.
That is an awesome wedding dress. I’m guessing it’s based on a hospital gown and that her arse is hanging out too.
I shall reveal my leaving cert results here tomorrow at some point!
Aw, B’dum, of course! Fingers crossed, hon :)
Well spotted MMN! You’re right!
That dress is ‘Property Of Dundrum Hospital’
Personally, I think it looked better on yer Ma.
Now now Morgor, you know without the little paddling feet and frosted lipstick you’d be struggling.
And a dress like that rather negates the whole ‘virginal white’ thing she’s got going on.
Imagine Mary Harney in that dress.
Can I ask a question? At what point did every unemployed young woman in Ireland decide to call herself a model?
The arse must have fallen out of the modelling market in Ireland with the number of half-starved and betanned little bollocksettes getting in on the act.
Its very funny though spotting the REALLY ugly ones in the paper claiming to be a model. A great game for wet afternoons at the yacht club in Howth.
I think that would be that dress in Mary Harney.
I think my Da would be more appreciative if I brought her home than my ma. Especially if she got her norks out.
Why would your ma getting her norks out make a difference ?
I done mine last year, but it’s still relevant for CAO and all.
Lame Maggot, you know you can do better, come on.
Damn comment in between
I have just googled Mary Harney and I am disappointed to find that there is no mention of Twenty’s blog until page three.
Lame maggot +1. Student has promise but must try harder.
Sorry – that wedding picture added to a thread about schoolgirls, even of the non-japanese variety, disturbed and distressed me – I guess that is the wedding dress equivalent of the Nursing Bra Jo ?
420
Well done B’dum.
All the smart ones ever say is that they just kept tipping along and didn’t do a whole pile of study which would lead me to believe that you don’t need to do a whole pile of study to get a load of As in the Leaving Cert because when was the last time one of these brain boxes became famous for being clever after the Leaving Cert?
I think failing should become a badge of honour in future because it seems to be the hardest thing to do these days…
i have no idea what a “swot” is…perhaps it is an Irish term…but I am afraid if I google it I will be given terrible images and descriptions.