Writing is making my brain go funny
As I am currently writing my head off at the moment, what with Book II being required by the publishers almost any day now, I find I have developed a rather odd habit.
When I’m writing the book I kind of get into this zone where I type as fast as possible to keep up with the thoughts that are in my brain. What’s happening is that I’m writing the wrong words at times but in their place are words which rhyme with, or sound like, the word I want to use.
Examples:
‘Are you being money with me?’, instead of ‘Are you being funny with me?’
‘The like of the moon reflected on the sea’s surface’, instead of ‘The light of the moon…’
‘I suspected he was just hitting there letting them rant’, instead of ‘I suspected he was just sitting there…’
This has only happened in the last week or so. Might I have had a mini-stroke of some kind? Or am I just going to fast for my own brain?
It wouldn’t have to be that fast, let me tell you.
July 30th, 2008 at 3:07 pm
It mike be but hoo can say.
July 30th, 2008 at 3:17 pm
You’re dying Twenty.
I think you should send me all of your money.
July 30th, 2008 at 3:23 pm
Are you allowed send 86p cheques?
July 30th, 2008 at 3:31 pm
I had a maths teacher who had a lisp. She was a lot like Ronan Keating in that she pronounced ’s’ as ’sh’. Unlike Ronan Keating we had hours of fun listening to her.
For instance, one classic line went: “Anymore of your nonsense and you will be shitting in the corridor!” and another was “Get out of my chair, I was shitting in that!” and that old favourite, “He was shatfaced, the shit bag!” we once overheard her talking to the headmaster about her husband who was fond of the drink.
July 30th, 2008 at 3:32 pm
Fiver on it being a Stroke…
Whats are the odds Twenty?
July 30th, 2008 at 3:35 pm
As I am currently writing my head off at the moment, what with Book II being required by the publishers almost any day now,
Wasn’t the first book just released in February or March? Do they expect the second already?
Thats quick. What way does it work, are you contracted to produce it within a few months. That would be a lot of pressure.
Back on topic, I’d say you had a mini stroke
July 30th, 2008 at 3:36 pm
or even a major stroke
July 30th, 2008 at 3:37 pm
I say the exact opposite of what I mean. If I want to say ‘he’s really late’ I’ll say ‘he’s really early’ instead.
I think tiredness lets our concentration get messed around. I wouldn’t say it’s a mini stroke. Stress and late nights more likely. I think you’re right about thinking too fast, and your brain just opens the wrong door while you’re not looking.
I can’t imagine having a publishing deadline. I’m bad with deadlines.
I think there’s a lot to be said for writing a book, then selling it. I read an inerview with someone who always does that.
July 30th, 2008 at 3:39 pm
What I was trying to point out Twenty was you probably have typists lisp. Its rare but does happen to people whose hands cannot keep up with their brian.
July 30th, 2008 at 3:40 pm
Ah Jo… you are very nice for trying to make Twenty feel at ease about the Stroke..
I’m sure as soon as he can train his Left hand to type again he’ll thank you…
July 30th, 2008 at 3:41 pm
Heh heh hee, their brian…
July 30th, 2008 at 3:42 pm
…sorry, schoolboy spelling mistake. It should read tipysts.
July 30th, 2008 at 3:42 pm
Could this be the subconscious [hidden, up 'til now] genius trying to break through? Go with the flow, Twenty. You could be about to produce another Ulysses?
July 30th, 2008 at 3:42 pm
My son has just hit me in the eyebrow with a spoon, and is now lying on my lap kicking the keyboard. Hence, heh heh hee. FInally, an excuse!
July 30th, 2008 at 3:42 pm
You may have this Twenty:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Receptive_aphasia
I get bouts of it myself, I think of a word and what I say is a muddle of two similar ones. Like I could be thinking class and great, and I’ll come out with “that’s fuckin grass!”. This is without beer as well which is the scary part.
July 30th, 2008 at 3:43 pm
Twenty wrote Ulysses?
July 30th, 2008 at 3:44 pm
Is he on The Bangers Jo?
July 30th, 2008 at 3:46 pm
Twenty wrote Ulysses?
It’s my dirty little secret.
July 30th, 2008 at 3:48 pm
Are you allowed send 86p cheques?
hah, i like the way you don’t even use the euro.
Twenty Major – Still spending Irish pounds
July 30th, 2008 at 3:53 pm
Pounds of flesh.
July 30th, 2008 at 3:53 pm
That doesn’t make any sense. Ignore that. Was trying to tie it in with measurements of weight as I don’t like grams. I’m more of an ounce man.
July 30th, 2008 at 3:54 pm
Me too, ounce-wise. Stupid metric system.
July 30th, 2008 at 3:55 pm
Its all 8balls these days Twenty…
July 30th, 2008 at 3:56 pm
“Are you going for a Half a Litre?”
Its just fucking WRONG….
July 30th, 2008 at 3:57 pm
But no-one will ever say that.
I don’t like this kilometre business either. They make no sense to me.
July 30th, 2008 at 4:01 pm
“My son has just hit me in the eyebrow with a spoon, and is now lying on my lap kicking the keyboard. Hence, heh heh hee. FInally, an excuse!”
Jo, there is no excuse for sloppy typnig.
July 30th, 2008 at 4:02 pm
Of course,Pint,ounce, they have a poetry to them..
Litre,gram.. sounds like a prescription..
July 30th, 2008 at 4:02 pm
Twenty, are we talking weights or waits?
July 30th, 2008 at 4:03 pm
…meters or metres?
July 30th, 2008 at 4:04 pm
…grams or grammes?
July 30th, 2008 at 4:07 pm
Fuck! I’m giving myself a headache.
July 30th, 2008 at 4:14 pm
I met a really sexy girl and she was hot so I decided to shit on her. Ooops, I mean, hit on her.
July 30th, 2008 at 4:15 pm
I finally converted to the metric system.
I used to be all about distance in miles and weight in stone.
But in the end its easier to have it in metric.
Especially personal body weight.
americans just use pounds, english use stone and europeans use kg.
July 30th, 2008 at 4:17 pm
That was little dull, morgor. Could you laugh it up a bit?
July 30th, 2008 at 4:22 pm
I finally converted to the
metricfanny system.I used to be all about
distance in miles and weight in stonesheep.But in the end its easier to have it in
metricthe same species.Better?
July 30th, 2008 at 4:27 pm
Twenty just read over some of my posts and you’ll see loads of that going on with me, I wrote Monday Balls by mistake and the letters aren’t even near each other.
I always read my e-mails before I send them though because I always type the wrong words or else just leave out altogether.
July 30th, 2008 at 4:27 pm
Twenty, your brain is full of homophones, that’s all. Want it for the Christmas market, do they?
July 30th, 2008 at 4:27 pm
And never let it be said that a thread went by without someone saying Cunt….
July 30th, 2008 at 4:28 pm
Twenty, were you one of those people who always did you homework on a Sunday night at 10pm? Its the deadline that has you speaking in tongues…
July 30th, 2008 at 4:30 pm
“But in the end its easier to have it in the same species.”
I dont know Morgor. Sheep dont demand commitment, most of your wages and nights out with the other ewes (or is that yous?) Fuck it where’s the Panadol?
July 30th, 2008 at 4:30 pm
Monday Balls was good.
Leeroy – that is exactly the kind of person I am.
Conan – nah, it’ll be February/March again, I reckon. It’s all to do with editing schedules, I’d imagine.
July 30th, 2008 at 4:33 pm
homophones aren’t 3gee, are they?
sorry.
July 30th, 2008 at 4:34 pm
A kilometre is a mile for people who can’t think big.
A metre is a thing that sports commentators use to annoy television viewers and give the impression they are perched right on the shoulder of the striker.
A gramme costs £40 in London. A ‘gram’ costs $60 in New York.
July 30th, 2008 at 4:34 pm
‘Are you being money with me?’, instead of ‘Are you being funny with me?’
I hear ya, when you say one thing and mean your mother.
July 30th, 2008 at 4:42 pm
I’m trying to adapt to the metric system because I’m supposed to be a European.
I am now quite used to KMs instead of miles. Also used to it now for weight (my own and meat).
A pint is still a pint though.
July 30th, 2008 at 4:42 pm
Is there any footage of those cunts rioting yesterday on Youtube yet?
July 30th, 2008 at 4:42 pm
Here’s what happens when I type really fast….
I’m typeing really fast now and trhyign to get all wods in and mot make any msitakes atall
July 30th, 2008 at 4:43 pm
Here’s what happens when I type fast….
I’m typeing really fast now and trhyign to get all wods in and mot make any msitakes atall
July 30th, 2008 at 4:43 pm
oh shite
July 30th, 2008 at 4:48 pm
“And never let it be said that a thread went by without someone saying Cunt….”
They say ‘cant’ in Laahndaan. And I dont mean that German philosopher cant Kant.
July 30th, 2008 at 4:55 pm
Check this out, fuckers.
http://www.rte.ie/news/2008/0730/mahon.html
July 30th, 2008 at 5:03 pm
Cognitive impairment! He must have been eating his own dogfood the mad old fucker.
July 30th, 2008 at 5:04 pm
‘Are you being money with me?’, instead of ‘Are you being funny with me?’
You mean to ask your lovely wife to pass the salt and what slips out is “you’ve ruined my fucking life bitch!!”.
July 30th, 2008 at 5:05 pm
it’s known as Adult Recurring Stress Engendered Dyslexia or A.R.S.E.D.
In other words the stress of the timeline is subconciously inducing a mild form of dyslexia.
As an aside how the fuck are dyslexics supposed to spell out the name of their condition on official forms.
July 30th, 2008 at 5:16 pm
He knew that Mr Ahern’s associate Des Richardson was associated with the project.
But he did not discuss the Phoenix Park scheme with Mr Richardson when he handed Mr Richardson a £80,000 donation for Fianna Fáil in June 1994.
They’re not the most subtle are they.
FF Politician : “So you want to build sometin’ here ha?”
Developer : ” I do ”
FF Politician : *rubs fingers*
Developer : “grand so, here’s 80 grand for . . . . er. . . Fianna Fail cos I er . . . admire your policies on education . . .”
FF Politician : “thanks i’ll put it in the . . em . . party coffers” *slips envelope into pocket.
July 30th, 2008 at 5:17 pm
“I think you should send me all of your money.”
Did you mean his ‘funny’?
July 30th, 2008 at 5:21 pm
I’ll bet we all have cognitive impairment.
July 30th, 2008 at 5:24 pm
Myself I think it’s something he caught from the Bay City Rollers.
July 30th, 2008 at 5:40 pm
Has anyone started to think about how your legs work while running down a stairs?
July 30th, 2008 at 5:42 pm
I think “are you being money with me” sounds pretty good, Twenty.
Holemaster, I just received a google search inquiring “who is Holemaster?”
Hee.
July 30th, 2008 at 5:42 pm
Twenty, read the details of the 5.30 show on this, it’s probably similar to what you’re experiencing. One the funniest things I’ve ever read….
http://www.tvgohome.com/
July 30th, 2008 at 5:49 pm
Researchers claim that excessive masturbation can cause dyslexia. .
So, Twenty you seem to be ignoring the whole Bay City Rollers issue the Maggot wont give up on. C’mon give on the goodies…..
Or should I say the Boy shitty Rollers….
July 30th, 2008 at 5:49 pm
Holemaster, are you an employee of these ?
July 30th, 2008 at 5:50 pm
Twenty you seem to be ignoring the whole Bay City Rollers issue the Maggot wont give up on.
I think he’s blocking the memories.
So many members….
July 30th, 2008 at 5:53 pm
Maybe it’s what book 2 is about ?
July 30th, 2008 at 5:54 pm
So what’s the new title?
“Twenty Major : Days of Shame” ?
July 30th, 2008 at 5:59 pm
“Sex and the Bay City Rollers” – even has a readymade title for the TV series
July 30th, 2008 at 6:00 pm
‘Bye-bye Bastardface’?
July 30th, 2008 at 6:03 pm
No Morgor, I’m just dipping the cap to them. I love the name.
July 30th, 2008 at 6:08 pm
fair nuff,
I’m quite fond of RingGard too.
I don’t think they thought them through properly.
July 30th, 2008 at 6:12 pm
RingGard could be my nemises.. nemisis… nemises.. nemises.. nemesis. There it is.
July 30th, 2008 at 6:27 pm
No Booker nomination for Book 1? Bastards.
July 30th, 2008 at 6:30 pm
I know, what cunts.
July 30th, 2008 at 6:35 pm
Philistines – what the fuck do they know…
July 30th, 2008 at 6:39 pm
Twenty you don’t want a Booker prize, it’s a fucking cunt fest in your life.
July 30th, 2008 at 6:39 pm
Fuckin’ Touché
July 30th, 2008 at 6:40 pm
Fuck you Enright, The Gathering is shite.
July 30th, 2008 at 6:45 pm
Hey, be all Fonzie people.
July 30th, 2008 at 6:45 pm
Gang o’ shang a langers……
July 30th, 2008 at 6:53 pm
Ha, Twenty’s opened an e-salon. The French kind, not the hairdressery kind.
July 30th, 2008 at 8:32 pm
Have you ever done thing speaking foreign languages?
I couldn’t stop myself saying ‘Bonjour’ and ‘Au Revoir’ to Spaniards, and God help the poor Frenchies I used to talk Irish to.
July 30th, 2008 at 10:12 pm
the same thing.
Where is everybody, at the off-license?
July 31st, 2008 at 1:06 am
And one last thing;
I’d like to take this opportunity to apologise to Batty Sullivan. I’m sorry for taking cheap shots at you earlier.
Batty, you obviously know your stuff. I’m not used to that kinda stuff on this blog, and I was caught out. I won’t do it again, to you.
July 31st, 2008 at 5:20 am
I just can’t seem to compute people’s 40th birthdays – always default to ‘I’m off to Blah-de-Blah’s 21st’. And I have terrible habit of referring to people’s funerals as their weddings.
July 31st, 2008 at 6:39 am
…WE ARE TALKING TEN WPM, RIGHT/…. ; )
July 31st, 2008 at 8:29 am
Ask the publishers if they want it done quick or if they want it done right? And don’t bother about the poor grammar when you say it, it’ll ruin the scansion. You’re on book 2, man! Book 2! You’ve earned the right to be a least a little diva-ish with them, no?
July 31st, 2008 at 9:07 am
Monkey balls wrote;
“And one last thing;
I’d like to take this opportunity to apologise to Batty Sullivan. I’m sorry for taking cheap shots at you earlier.
Batty, you obviously know your stuff. I’m not used to that kinda stuff on this blog, and I was caught out. I won’t do it again, to you.”
I’d like to apologise to Monkey balls for putting him in a position where he felt he ahd to apologise to me. Apologies to all of yez.
And finally I’d like to thank my parents for helping to locate suitable professional representation and my agent for immediately turning around and helping me find more suitable parents.
Monkey balls, are you trying to cadge a sub? I’ve no money but I can do you a great deal on a black pony with a white blaze on its nose and the longest ears you ever saw…